hardcore pawnography

i somehow won another game, this against a 1500, after losing to a 1200.  makes no damn sense.   this is a boring game, pretty straight forward, no cool crazy moves, nothing worth noting.  he totally screwed up on move 24, so it’s not that i won, he just lost.

[Event "ICC"]
[Site "Internet Chess Club"]
[Date "2010.07.07"]
[White "mandalorian"]
[Black "Eudyptes"]
[Result "*"]
[WhiteElo "1299"]
[BlackElo "1567"]
[TimeControl "0+0"]

1. d4 Nf6 2. Nf3 g6 3. c4 Bg7 4. Nc3 O-O 5. e4 d6
6. Bg5 h6 7. Bxf6 Bxf6 8. Bd3 Bg7 9. O-O e5 10. dxe5 dxe5
11. Rc1 Nc6 12. Nd5 Bg4 13. a3 Nd4 14. Be2 Nxe2+ 15. Qxe2 c6
16. Ne3 Be6 17. Rfd1 Qc7 18. c5 Rad8 19. Nc4 Bxc4 20. Qxc4 Kh7
21. h3 Rfe8 22. b4 Rxd1+ 23. Rxd1 Bf6 24. Rd6 Be7 25. Qxf7+ Kh8
26. Qxe8+
*

i will lose to an 1100, yet i somehow beat a 1600. makes no damn sense. a kinda neat game though, especially since he was a 1600… i’m black

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Bd3 Bb4+ 6. c3 Bd6 7. Qe2 e58. Nf5 B e7

9. Nxg7+ Kf8 he disrupts me, i cant castle, he has a pawn, but somehow, i’m not worried. he doesn’t really have a great attack. at least i don’t think he does. the joys of being clueless is, you don’t know enough to get scared and so you don’t stress as much as you should. hooray for being clueless and blind to my surroundings.

10. Bh6 Kg8 he is going for a discovered check i guess. i’m still, not too worried.

11. Nd2 d5 12. O-O-O Ng4

13. Nf5 Bxf5 that fucking knight will cause me grief, i don’t like him at all.  i’m not using my bishop, time to trade his active piece for my not active piece
14. exf5 Nxh6 and i’m up a bishop

15. Qxe5 Nc6 16. Qg3+ Kf8 17. Rhe1 Rg8 18. Qh3 Ng4 19. Re2 Qc7
20. Qxh7 he loves those pawns, he can have them 20…Nd4 i use the pin on the pawn to get me a rook 21. h3 Nxe2+ 22. Bxe2 Nxf2 i don’t know why he gave me the rook, but now i’m up a rook
23. Rf1 Ne4 24. Nxe4 dxe4 25. Bh5 Bg5+
26. Kc2 e3 27. f6 ok, pressure is on, f7 is a threat, i don’t really know what to do, so fuck it, i push a pawn 27…e2
28. Bxe2 good, he can have the pawn, f7 gets a break

28… Qe5 29. Bd3 Rd8

30. h4 Rxd3 if he takes with the king, i get check and i think i get the rook. either way, i don’t mind sacing my rook. probably not smart, but that is why i suck

31. Qxd3 Bxf6 i save the bishop, get a pawn, and open the file for my rook, so i rather like this move. now it ends nicely, and i feel like i almost know how to play this damn game
32. h5 Rxg2+ 33. Kb3 Qe6+ 34. c4 Rxb2+ 35. Ka3 Qa6#

here is the game without words so you can look at it if you want.

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Bd3 Bb4+
6. c3 Bd6 7. Qe2 e5 8. Nf5 Be7 9. Nxg7+ Kf8 10. Bh6 Kg8
11. Nd2 d5 12. O-O-O Ng4 13. Nf5 Bxf5 14. exf5 Nxh6 15. Qxe5 Nc6
16. Qg3+ Kf8 17. Rhe1 Rg8 18. Qh3 Ng4 19. Re2 Qc7 20. Qxh7 Nd4
21. h3 Nxe2+ 22. Bxe2 Nxf2 23. Rf1 Ne4 24. Nxe4 dxe4 25. Bh5 Bg5+
26. Kc2 e3 27. f6 e2 28. Bxe2 Qe5 29. Bd3 Rd8 30. h4 Rxd3
31. Qxd3 Bxf6 32. h5 Rxg2+ 33. Kb3 Qe6+ 34. c4 Rxb2+ 35. Ka3 Qa6#

this is what chess needs…

now he will never know what willis was talkin bout.

i’m just gonna keep adding as they come

these are from ICC

heusen: i do not play with smokers (this after we start a game, he goes 1.e4, i go 1.e5, he doesn’t do anything, doesn’t move, so i resign.  it was an unrated game.  really? well, my icc name *is* chainsmoke, so i guess it makes sense, when you don’t really think about it.)

Gillywibble says: i hate you cheats
chainsmoke says: how am i cheating?
Gillywibble says: nothing worse than sad morons
chainsmoke says: if i cheated, i’d have a much higher rating, don’t you think?
Gillywibble says: get a life
chainsmoke says: dude, its chess, a game, it means nothing
gillywibble disconets

Spassky says: thanks for lag cheat – (i don’t know what lag cheat is, but when this 3 minute game was done, he had 1:59 on the clock, i had :41.)

Fi says: coward (after i won, he challenged me and i didn’t play him)

——————————-

these are from FICS

mrspankthatazz: pussy

lyzinkosky: WELL
lyzinkosky: WHAT HAPPENED ?
lyzinkosky: U NEED A FASTER ASSOST PROGRAM  HUH?
lyzinkosky: LMAO  CLOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
lyzinkosky: YOUR A JOKE

tatayjim: which is beside the point
tatayjim: sure sweety
mandalorian: look at chessloser.wordpress.com
mandalorian: you will see this awesome chat
tatayjim: sure dear
tatayjim: stick to that
tatayjim: you’re sitting in
tatayjim: tell mandal to play his own games
tatayjim: builds character
tatayjim: lol
tatayjim:
tatayjim: you guys take care now

it seems disconnecting and leaving an adjourned game when you lose your queen or when you know you will be mated next move, while still a standby ( i have about 9 adjourned games, and no one will resume them even when they are online and idle) is losing some popularity.   the hot new trend seems to be letting the clock run out, especially when you realize you messed up in the first two minutes of ten minute game.

this has happened to me a few times now.  i take a piece or two, the guy stops playing, and i sit there and wait for 5-8 minutes for the clock to run out.   it doesn’t actually bother me all that much, even though i want to quickly get my next fix and blitz my day away.  i usually surf the internet, look at videos or whatever, check back occasionally to see if he is still there (yeah, he is) and do other stuff.  i once got up and made myself a sandwich, came back, and he still hadn’t moved.  it was a tasty sandwich.

sometimes if you are idle too long the game adjourns, but on FICS or if there isn’t too much time left, they just sit there. like they are punishing me.

really?  is the arbitrary number next to your lame ass chess handle all that important?

maybe it’s just a fad, and they will go back to disconnecting.   but for now, if you want to be current and hip,  when you are losing, or about to get mated, don’t  resign or play on, just walk away, do something else, stop playing entirely, ESPECIALLY if there is more than 4 minutes on your clock.  that will show whoever you are playing that they are the loser, even though they just beat you on move 6.

just a note:  neither i nor my wife have anything to do with the guy (i assume its a dude, probably a kid) posting as mrs chessloser.  if you get a comment from mrs chessloser, just treat it as spam.

leafing through the 90+ pages of the USCF SALES “annual buying guide,” i noticed a whole lot of stuff that, really, i don’t understand.  pages 2 – 11 are dedicated solely to chess pieces.  really?  i love chess, but how picky are chess people that they need so many different “styles” of chess pieces.  do you *really* care if your knight’s horse nose is pointing down or not all the way down?

then there are the figurine chessmen.  other than the simpsons chess set, does anyone actually use figurine chess sets?  you can’t tell if you just moved a bishop or a pawn, you don’t know what is what.  what the catalog didn’t’ have was cool, actual chess things that might be actually useful.

for example:

Tal brand cigarettes.   I know smoking is unfashionable nowadays, but people do still smoke.  Hell, i would smoke Tal brand cigarettes, because they would have a picture of Tal on the box, perhaps the one where he is smoking.

and what would go better with Tal brand cigarettes than….

Alekhine’s Reserve brand vodka!   You just had a bad day at a tournament, you go back to your room and drown your sorrows in Alekhine’s Reserve brand Vodka!  (made with potatoes, like vodka should be made, not that grain vodka crap that is all over) .  You had a great tournament, you want to celebrate?  What better way than with a bottle of Alekhine’s vodka.   And of course, the bottle would have a picture of Alekhine on it.

and finally….

Capalanca brand Condoms.  You are at the tournament, you are already in a hotel, you meet a chick at the hotel bar, perhaps she is there for the quilting conference or a wedding or something.   You offer her a Tal brand cigarette, get to talking, invite her to your room for a glass of Alekhine vodka, and next thing you know, you are reaching for your Capablanca brand condom, which has the chessboard pattern and makes her feel like she is with the coolest guy in the world.

these are things i want to see in the “buying guide.”

Of course, i would be doing all this with my Endgame Clothing T shirt on.  There really is no other way to be doing it.

so there i was, minding my own business, lazily browsing through the new USCF monster huge catalog, the winter “buying guide” or whatever it is.  pieces, boards, bags, books, dvds, key chains, bracelets, all sorts of stuff you need to play a boardgame * and then i got to the clothing and apparell section,  and there, on it’s own kick ass page, is ENDGAME CLOTHING!!!!!!

 how awesome is that?  wasn’t it a small start up company just a few months ago?  now, if a whole page in the USCF Catalog is to be interpreted correctly, if you aren’t wearing ENDGAME Clothing at a tournament, or everyday in school or at work, then you aren’t a real chessplayer, and frankly, you suck. 

It makes me want to enter a tournament just so i can be seen walking around with my ENDGAME CLOTHING t-shirts, which just wearing them should increase my rating by about 200 points. 

so, i just want to say, in all sincerety and seriousness,

Congratulations John, it put a huge smile on my face to see your stuff in the catalog.  I hope Endgame Clothing just gets bigger and bigger and becomes the TAPOUT of the chess world.  rock on man, keep kicking ass.

* i have thougth about this, and i have some ideas i’d like to share about products that arn’t out but could/should be, in my opionion.  i will write about them in my next post, when i get around to it.

so i’m hanging out, minding my own business, when i get an email from getting to 2000 .  he is driving across the country, he is in colorado, he needs a place to crash.

my door is ALWAYS open, so he comes over and spends the night. 

it was great to see him and meet his family.  sadly i had to work the next day, so i couldn’t spend as much time with him as i wanted to, but we got in 2 blitz games in which i lost with flying colors.  it was great.

talking to him, playing a blitz game with a human sitting across from me, reminded me how much i love chess.  listening to him tell me about the tournament reminded me how much i miss the tournaments. 

perhaps in a few months, when i get shit straightened out, i will start again. 

until then, i’ll be camping and hiking and canyoneering in zion national park, utah, and other places, taking road trips, and just kinda surfing the tide of life like the flotsam that i am. 

thanks Ivan, it was a real boost to see you.

chess was a burning flame in my soul, an all encompassing passion, a torrid love affair, a reckless addiction, a compelling need.

lately though, the bright sun that is chess has seem to gone supernova, burned out to a black hole.  yeah, it’s interesting, yeah i blitz on ICC, but my interest has emulated the stock market, and gone down considerably.  there was a brief upswing, the dead cat did indeed bounce, but it remained dead, and landed with a dull thud.

perhaps it is because i am working “part time” meaning six nights a week, midnight to 0800 am, and i dont sleep during the day, so i am tired and dazed and grumpy.  perhaps i just realized i will never really get good at chess, my attention span is shorter than keanu reeves’ singing career, and quite frankly, i’m not that smart.

maybe i just, deep down inside, know its just a game, and i see people take it so seriously, like online rating is a direct reflection of themselves, it kind of puts me off.

maybe i’ve just OD’d on blitz.

either way, spring is here, i wanna ride my bike, i wanna sleep for more than 3 hours in a 24 hour period, i’m going to japan next month.  chess is taking a back seat.

i have the greatest respect and i’m humbled by those of you who have kept the fire and passion alive for so long, who continue to be teased by the secrets chess has to offer, who follow it down the rabbit hole to see just how far it goes, knowing you will never ever ever find the end.  that is what makes you so damn good, and i salute you.

part of me is sad, its like losing my religion.   but for now, i’m gonna go do other stuff.

chigago open, philly open, vegas, reno, so many tournaments that are out there, so many tournaments that i wont be playing in this year.

no, i will not be going to any tournaments this year, partly because i’m not really focused on chess right now, and partly because its just so expensive right now.  not counting the entrance fee, there is airfare, hotels, rental cars, with the economy the way it is, i have to be a bit more frugal with my savings.

and it struck me.   i cannot be the only one who is thinking like this.  what will the tanking economy’s impact be on chess tournaments, and by extension, the chess scene itself?

then i got to thinking, obama is doing a lot to change the country, and not for the better.  all these government programs to “help” the people have to be funded by someone, the government doesn’t just give you shit for free out of its pocket.  all these government programs, the bailout, free healthcare, all that, comes from TAX DOLLORS that everyone must pay.  so our taxes are going up, giving us less money for chess tournaments and the cool new book on the latest in the catalan opening.

obama is also doing some hinky shit, like the blair holt gun control bill, making it a criminal act to not register as a gun owner.  why does the government need to know i have a gun?  it also makes it more difficult to buy guns and ammo.   how does this affect the hunters and people who live off of hunting, feeding themselves and others off what the earth gives us, instead of processed crap food that makes us fat and unhealthy.

but i digress…

thing is…people are so worried about what is happening, the government running things into the ground, chess is a low priority, being put on the back burner.   what will happen to chess?

so i think i figured it out.  obama is working for the russians, it all makes sense.  he is a socialist, bit of a communist, and he wants to get the government running everything, take the power away from the people.  but why?  why would he do that?  because the russians were afraid we would start to dominate chess.  so not only do they get the united states to turn communist so they can rub it in our face, but also, seeing as no one will be playing much chess because everyone is worried about jobs and eating and living in a house instead of their car, we will fall out of the whole chess scene, and the russians will again dominate the chess world.

fuckin obama.  not only is he destroying my country bit by bit, but he’s also taking away chess.  if it gets much worse, we need to have a revolution and take back our country and chess.

yesterday was dr. seuss’s birthday. my winning streak is like dr seuss. dead. i’m back to losing, all is right with the world.

amazing grace, how sweet the sound,

that saved a wretch like me

i once was lost, but now i’m found

was blind but now i see

so i was reading silman’s reassess your chess workbook which i really really like, and there was a great problem where i had to find which move was best. i didnt find it. i didnt come close. it was a pawn move.

i just didn’t see it. why?!?!?!?!? i was chessblind.

this makes no sense, how could i not see the move?  all the pieces are right there on the board, nothing is hidden.

it’s as if my mind refused to acknowledge that little pawn could or should move. it’s like my mind only looks for good moves, blatant and bold moves, big piece moves. master games are filled with “quiet moves” that mean a lot, and my not recognizing small moves means i’m not playing with my whole army, and also it shows how crappy a chess player i really am. ouch, my ego.

not seeing every possible move also severely limits creativity, and to me, creativity is not just the fun part of chess, but an important part. its what makes you sac your bishop for no apparent reason, when 4 moves later your opponent has to resign or face mate because of what you saw and did.

it might be tedious, but i think i will go over a game, and EACH move, look for and actively recognize EVERY possible move, no matter how stupid or crazy or worthless. train my brain to see EVERY possible move that can be made, and then train it to evaluate which might be good or bad.

i’m hoping this will be my amazing grace, and i will no longer be chessblind.

oh, and in case you didnt know, amazing grace, the theme to gilligan’s island and the animals’ house of the rising sun are all interchangeable, you can sing any of the lyrics to any of the melodies. this is good to know and can be rather fun if you go to a church that sings amazing grace.

so, i’ve been winning a lot.  not that i am complaining, but its strange for me.   i’ve been consistently beating 1200s, 1400s, even the occasional 1500.  i went two days playing games on ICC and winning them all.  i feel like i am almost a real chessplayer.  it was like i couldn’t lose.  i wonder if this is kind of how capablanca felt?

i’ve been playing a trompowsky colle.  i think i invented it.  i love the colle, it seems so natural and easy to me, i guess i like it because i understand it, i know what i am going to do.  i’m gonna put everything i can into supporting e4.   but before i do this, i put my bishop on g5, usually move 2, ala trompowsky.  i doubt this is a sound maneuver, (unlike the heimlich maneuver, which, while useless in chess, is a great maneuver for choking victims).

but i seem to win with it.  perhaps its all those capablanca and petrosian games i’m going over.  perhaps its the tactics ive been studying.  i dont know why, but i’ve been winning a lot.  and i like it.

but its odd.  i’m so used to just losing, i keep waiting for the dream to end, the bubble to pop, the clock to strike midnight me to turn back into an unstoppable losing juggernaut, able to lose to the crappiest player on ICC.

i’m gonna ride this wave as long as i can.