chessin’ it up at the u.s. amateur west chess championship
the hotel lobby is buzzing, there are kids running all over, chess moms and chess dads carrying snacks and totebags and books, chess coaches giving last minute tips. some people are walking around with a tense excitement, others are walking around with a “same old drill” look, almost bored, then there is me, with a stupid grin and the lost look of an immagrant to a seriously alien country about my face.
day one
saturday morning, i got in the night before, checked in, and went out for coffee at “the safehouse,” the hippest coffee shop in tucson. bikers and punks and artists and writers, my tattoos and chain wallet blend in and i am welcome with a smile and sarcastic wit. we drink our coffee, hang out, and go back to the hotel. i am wired from numerous cups of extra strength coffee and excitement for the next day. mixed with the kids running up and down the hall and michal fucking flately practicing his riverdance moves in the room above me, i manage a solid 1 /12 hours sleep.
after a super tasty breakfast at franks, we go back to the hotel for round one. i am super tired, but i have many games of drunken chess under my belt, i should be able to play decently with little thinking. i was wrong.
i find out that i could get 1/2 point for every bye, and i can have as many byes as i want. this means i can get 6 byes, one for each game, not play, and end up with more points than if i play every game. awesome. too late though, i am here to play me some chess.
round 1
as tired as i am, i con myself into thinking i am ready. there was some confusion as my board had two sets of guys assigned to it, so they moved us to another board and the game commenced. my first opponnent was a quiet kid who didn’t look happy to be playing me. i was white, he played the sicilian, i was going to play a wing gambit or the grand prix attack, but i said fuck it and made up my own crappy opening, and he handed me my ass in 16 short moves. i resigned and he looked surprised. thing is, i could have dragged it out but i was tired and wanted to go back to my room. i’m not taking anything away from him though, he played strong, better than me, he earned and deserved the win.
round 2
round 2 we find out there will be a huge fiesta (this is tucson, people drive up from mexico to celebrate weddings and quinceaneras) and there will also be some kind of casino night going on, so the ever flexible and quick thinking tds make arrangements and move us into smaller, hotter, smellier rooms. sweatshop chess. i consider them cozy and intimate. tds are extrememly friendly, patient and helpful and make things run as smoothly as they can. people are all walking around lost, trying to find where they will play, eventually we find the boards and the second round commences.
second game was against an 11 year old. i was black. game lasted longer, i was feeling a bit fresher, frisky, and felt like sacing everything in sight. he won, of course, out played me, and did a great job.
day one down, i’ve lost both games, both to two kids. time to go drink at the surly wench which is the best bar in tucson. another place i belong. that is where the roller derby girls hang out. and this ends my first day of my first chess tournament ever.
two losses under my belt, i feel warmed up and i want to play right now this very second, i’m sure i would come close to possibly stealing a win from someone. i am excited about about playing chess, i’m having a great time, i can’t wait for tomorrow.
day 2
i wake up, tired. the enthusiasm i had seemed to have been sucked out over night, perhaps by an enthusiasm vampire. i dont feel like going down to the chess hall for further humiliation, but fuck it, that is why i’m here, isnt’ it? i drag my sorry ass downstairs for another whooping. we are back in the main chess room and will be for the rest of the tournament.
the lobby is abuzz, everyone is playing quick practice games with each other, parents and coaches are watching and reviewing. it almost smacks of child abuse, like kiddie beauty pagents are child abuse (kiddie beauty pagents are sick and should be illegal actually, at least chess is nothing like that). some of the kids don’t look happy, they look like they are being forced into it by parents. yesterday at the pool, some kids said they wanted to swim, thier parents said “no, you have to practice.” a bit sad.
round 3
i’m at the table with all the other guys who didn’t win. my opponent is a happy freindly 10 year old asian kid. great, now i get to lose to a 10 year old. at least he seems happy. i’m playing black, i fuck up the opening, he is about to end my pain. i am thinking what a waste it will be when i throw out all my chess books. fuck it, i will play it to the end. somehow, the kid goofs, i end up pushing a pawn and i mate him. holy crap. i think i won. yep, i won. a small glimmer of hope twinkles deep in my dark heart.
outside, i thank him. i tell his mom and coach he played really well, i got lucky. his mom is angry at him, his coach is angry at him. his mom says “you didn’t get lucky, he played bad and let you get lucky.” i thank her and quickly back away. poor kid.
ok, maybe it will be a better day. i am ready for the next game, but that is hours away. while everyone else is in thier rooms, analyzing, preparing, studying, i hit the town, get some food, hang out at the mall, go back to my room, read a book, take a nap. perhaps i should be studying.
i walk around handing out HARDCORE PAWNOGRAPHY stickers, pimping out my chess blog. turns out lots of chess players don’t know about chess blogs. also turns out lots of parents think i am trying to sell porn or something. only a few people laugh at the title and realize it’s about chess without explanation. some, with explanation, still think it’s about porn.
round 4
i know i am playing white, i am ready. my opponent is a sad looking 16 year old. poor kid. i try to make some jokes, cheer the kid up, he looks mortified. i play my e4, kid plays c5, i play knight to f3 to lull him into the false sense of security, then whatever he played, i came out with b4. WING GAMBIT! freaked him out, he was confused, didnt’ know what to do. i end up with a strong french-like center, i am looking good, kid is freaking out. about 25 moves later, i lose. kid still doesnt seem happy, even though he won. i want to cheer the kid up, tell him “hey, kid, at least your not me” but i dont’ think he would get it. i thank him and go back to my room, dejected and wondering why i am torturing myself, why don’t i just go home now.
what the fuck?!?!? my friend is a uscf rated 1710. i have beaten him three times and come really close twice. if i can play that good, why am i losing to kids rated under 1400?
i make my way to the skittles room and get my game analyzed by FM danny Rensch, who is there to analyze games for anyone who wants. he shows me how i fucked up, and now i know. it was pretty cool. next time, i will know what to do. i think i learned something. awesome. i ask him for an interview, he agrees. he is a super freindly guy, patient, humble, smart. you see how much he loves chess in the way he explains things to and teaches the younger kids. the guy is awesome. *
day 3
tucson. shit. still only in tucson. (apocolypse now fans are with me on this one) . last day of the loserpalooza i am forced to endure. i just want to end this hapless charade and go home and drink about it on the couch. over breakfast at the bagle shop, i am talking with my wife and it hits me. ok, if you watch the tv show “heros” there is the chick, jessica, and her inner bad ass nikki. well, i have an inner bad ass tal, and i can feel it when he “comes out.” say what you want, think i’m nuts, i feel it sure as i feel it when i hit my toe in the dark. it’s when i’m “on” anyway, it hits me, and i manage to turn it on. i am ready to destroy whoever i play this morning. bring on the victim.
round 5
i learn that there is a rule that says black gets to choose what side the clock goes on. YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! you mean that there has to be a rule for that?!?!?! are chess players that socially retarded that two adults can’t come to an agreement on what side a clock is on without it being in the rules? wow.
my opponent is another 10 year old asian kid. rated 1204. i’m black and i’m aggressive, he is up on material shortly, and he is mated shortly. my nickname for this tournament should be SARS, as i am deadly against the asian kids. i have won 2 games. if i can win my next game, i will have won 50% of my first ever tournament. i am ready.
while everyone else is fritzing and analyzing and preparing, i go out shopping and eating. this may be one reason i lose a lot, but there it is. i am still ready for my last game, but i feel my “on” dimming.
round 6
i am ready, i am white, i am finally playing an older guy. i feel it. he will lose. i open aggressivley, i get him sweating. i missed a tactic that i see as soon as i remove my fingers from the piece i just moved, but i have him on the ropes. i let him trade my rook for his queen stupidly, as again after i removed my fingers from the piece i see the correct move. i needed that rook. no worries, i have a queen and a knight, he has two rooks and a knight, i am in his back yard, i miss a mate, but that’s ok, he is cowering in the corner. he threatens my queen, i move her to the exact wrong square. i saw the square i wanted to move her to, my eye-hand coordination seemed to take a bye on that move, cause i moved the queen onto the sqaure so his horse could take her. i put my queen on the wrong square. i wrote my move down and tipped my king. i lost. i should have won, but i lost. my first tournament is over.
overall i had a great time. the tds, Karen Pennock, Enrique Huerta (hope i spelled that right) and Jon Shacter were each super freindly, helpful, patient, and did an outstanding job putting the whole thing together, managing the rooms, being flexible, everything. there may have been some grumbling with the room moving, but they handled it smoothly. it was like herding cats for them, and they did it with smiles and sincere love of chess. they rock.
i met some great guys, jeff the coach, rich, troy, and others whose names i cause i am stoooopid. i hope to see them at the next tournament. i played much crappier than i expected, i hate myself for that, but now that i know what to expet and what it’s like, i think i may do a bit better. i should have won 4 games, but at least i won 2 games. i won’t know my provisional rating until later this week.
in closing, i’d like to leave with an open letter to chess parents.
dear chess parents,
LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP. let your kids be kids some of the time. if they naturally want to play chess 13 hours a day, great, but cut them some freaking slack. forcing them into a such a rigourous program and making them play may make them grand masters by age 19, but you are seriously risking having a socially retarded kid who turns out the be the next bobby fischer, in both chess skills and craziness.
*i will post the interview with FM Rensch tomorrow.
Blue Devil Knight said,
May 28, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Great tourna-log, SARS. Tough breaks on the losses you shoulda won.
Tournaments are a whole different bird than online or in the chess club, and I think everyone’s first tournament should just be taken as a kind of introduction to the scene with zero expectations about performance. I really love the tournaments: the intensity, the crazy emotional swings (well, the upswings, the downswings kinda suck), the hot chess groupies trying to get into your hotel room to get lessons on mate-in-one that turn out to be hired by your 11 year old competitor’s mother (as was the riverdance guy).
I have not run into the psycho chess parents yet at any tournaments, but I can only imagine how annoying they are. Chess is just a freakin’ game, and not even one where there is hope of economic payoff like football or baseball. You are turning your kid into a misfit, probably stealing time away from studying real subjects like algebra hell even spelling, and are going to create freak hypercompetitive miscreants (it is sad how many brilliant people have wasted their school years on chess, only to go to a crappy college, when they could have gone to Harvard or something if they had devoted half that time to school). You should have told that mom to play her kid right there on the spot, and if he won, she has to shut her cakehole for the rest of his life. If she wins, you get to make out with her.
dutchdefence said,
May 28, 2007 at 10:08 pm
So that’s 2 out of 5 right? And this is your very first tournament? Because that’s really not all that bad. You’ve scored almost 50%.
Pawn Shaman said,
May 29, 2007 at 4:30 am
You write like James Ellroy. You should consider taking the night train to 1953 and cheesing lambs on chicken hawk beefs. Leave your cheaters behing, theyll get you bubkis.
Blunderprone said,
May 29, 2007 at 5:01 am
After not playing for a couple decades, I recall attending my first renewal to the scene with MUCH enthusiasm and a very similar grin. I recall seeing a GM for the first time and being in awe. I thought I had to whisper in his presence. As i recall, I finished with a 2 out of 5 score. I’ve since settled down but my enthusiasm is still there.
The tournements here in Massachusetts have a strong undertoe of scholastic players. Chess tournaments are the only venue where I truely fear a 10 year old. I see the “familes” and have witnessed on quite a few occassions the absurd drive the parents tend to have.
My daughter plays, ( as well as my other kids) but I don’t push it on her. Once at a scholastoc event she was up against an asian girl who’s siblings also play. My daughter got into a position where she was stalemated… and quite happy for the occasion. A few minutes later her opponent was in tears as her father was showing her how she should have played.
At another event, I overheard a father talking to his son who was in tears already, repeatedly saying ” Concentrate! Concentrate!”
As for the sleepless times, adrenaline can get the best of you. Do the coffee thing between the morning and evening rounds. But I’m sure you knew that.
When you had your game analyzed by the master, he radiated something you were seeking. It sounds like you got recharged from it. You will find many more at tournaments who can help pick you back up, and at some point, you too can be the one that radiates the spirit of Caissa!
As for “turning on the Tal”… yeah, sometimes it seems like everything is in alignment and you “see” the game in a different light. That is why my latest quest is for consistency.
It sounds like you had fun. I hope your first score doesn’t discourage you from more. You may try playing in the next section up if you sense a lot of kids are attending. I find in sections that are for unrated and under 1400, its overloaded with those kids. Sure the next section up has kids too, but not as many, and those who are there tend to be a little more serious.
Sciurus said,
May 29, 2007 at 6:30 am
Thanks for the fun to read report! I never played at a tourney (except online) myself but after reading this I guess I should try someday. Even though these stories about chess parents freak me out. I can almost imagine myself losing on purpose because I feel bad for the kids (although they would probably win against me without my help anyway).
Rocky said,
May 29, 2007 at 6:32 am
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now via my RSS reader. It looks like my company finally removed your site from the “questionable content” filter, so now I can post a comment (I guess the words ‘hardcore’ and -ography tripped the filter)
Anyway … I love the blog and enjoyed reading about your first tourney. I couldn’t stop laughing at your nickname comment … “my nickname for this tournament should be SARS, as i am deadly against the asian kids”
Thanks for sharing!
Blue Devil Knight said,
May 29, 2007 at 7:27 am
Scirius: oh, you will come to enjoy beating down the kids in the games. Those cocky little whippersnappers love to beat adults, and will gather round your game in a huddle whispering as their friend tries to beat you. Especially annoying is losing to a kid who takes five nanoseconds per move.
Jeff the Coach said,
May 29, 2007 at 10:25 am
Omigosh! I never laughed so hard after reading a blog before! You were spot on in your commentary! It was great meeting you and I am glad that somebody finally doesn’t take these things so seriously and likes to have fun! If you aren’t having fun then there is no sense in playing! I tell my kids that all the time!!!
I am a teacher and chess coach for a high school up in the mountains of Arizona, and we didn’t get home until early this morning and I didn’t crawl in bed until after 3:00 AM! I had to drop off all my kids and turn in my district vehicle. BUT I couldn’t wait to get up this AM to check out your blog. Very funny stuff! Except that at 2:45 AM this morning I was in the district transportation yard scrapping off your bumper sticker! One of my kids stuck it on our car. I thought it was funny but didn’t think the maintenance staff would find it very amusing.
So congrats on your first real OTB tournament. It is a bit different than playing online. Taking notations, actually moving the pieces, etc. It’s different… but fun too… to be able to see people’s expressions and all the rest of the activity. But the worst part, as you mentioned, is all those crazy chess parents! They can be so over the top! At first I didn’t enjoy these sorts of tournaments with the younger scholastic players because of the parents. But now I like to sit back and try to predict which kids and which parents will lose it first…
I enjoy the high school tournaments the best! Where we get to travel around the state to different high schools and play chess! And the kids are doing it because they love the game - we don’t take any parents and the kids can just be themselves. It’s a totally different atmosphere. The intense pressure from the parents wrecks the environment in my opinion. You should rent the movie: Searching for Bobby Fischer. It’s a story about a boy and his dad and what happens when his dad starts to push him too much. I think you will find it interesting after your first tournament.
And as to losing to a ten year old! I hate it! it sucks big time! But mostly because lots of these kids are spoiled and are poor winners and even poor losers. There are a few
I have meet that are mature acting and I have had some real fun with them. I beat a twelve year old kid once and he started crying!!! His mother was upset that I was bullying him! I told her the kid had a higher rating than I and was being a poor sport. She lost it and I thought she was going to attack me! The TDs kicked her out… but it took all the fun out the event for me!
The thing with kids is that most of the tournament players are very smart and have memorized their openings and lines, but if you play something different or something they haven’t seen before the don’t know want to do… they get flustered and it throws them off their game. Of course there are a few that are genuine prodigies and will make you pay!!! But I have found that if I play an unconventional line they aren’t as confident. But ultimately you still have to play the board! It doesn’t matter who is sitting across from you, young or old - you have to play the board! I tell my kids to treat every opponent like a GM - because you never know and it’s so easy to get over confident… and chess is the great equalizer - one bad move is enough to make or break the game.
Anyway, congrats again on your first tournament. I am looking forward to reading your interview with FM Rensch!
dutchdefence said,
May 29, 2007 at 2:19 pm
So the sticker thing wasn’t a joke? I thought you was just making that up to add a fun factor to the post. If i had a car i surely would have wanted one
His Best Friend said,
May 29, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I agree with the chess parent stuff.
But I don’t know. My kid is serious about it, works hard, and we have our moments. But our moments are based on all of the other crap. The chess will take care of itself. Maybe, it was the hard first year. Maybe, it was the easier second year. But I figure my role, is to support him by paying attantion to what he needs at the tournament. The only thing I “chess dad” about is playing “real” chess, and write down your moves. A tournament is by far the last place you will learn anything about chess.
But there is plenty about being a good sport. A good winner, A good friend, having a good time. Managing your energy levels so that you play the last round as well as you can. Not letting non-chess stuff affect your mood and your chess game.
And it is still tough. Look at your blog. Chess is an ego game. It is very hard for young people to be involved in such an ego game and not behave badly. It is unfortunate that many parents do not understand how to best deal with that.
Heisman has a really good chapter on losing. I have given away my book to another chess parent in the hope that they begin to understand what is going on.
And 13 hours a day is insane. A busy WEEK is 6 hours, and there are plenty of weeks where there is less. But those weeks he tends to want more!
Blue Devil Knight said,
May 29, 2007 at 9:30 pm
My second ever tournament, first game, I played the fried liver as white and mated my guy in 10 moves. He was about 10, asian kid, he looked shocked. Stood up, and walked off. He wouldn’t even look at me the rest of the tournament. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with hit. His parents failed him in the sportsmanship department. If he goes to college, he’ll be one of those competitive pre-meds who will give people the wrong answers on study questions just to beat the curve.
I actually felt really bad about that one. I also felt awesome.
chessloser said,
May 30, 2007 at 6:53 am
Blue Devil Knight - i’m glad you liked the post. tournaments are a different animal, and i like them. i love your idea about making the mom play the son, i might use it next time. you mentioned the kid who wouldn’t talk to you after the game, i saw that going on, and you described the person he will be perfectly…..
dutch defense - i won 2 out of 6…and if you want a sticker, let me know, i’ll send you one…
pawn shaman - thanks for dropping by, you got moxie, i hope you don’t take a powder and not come back, stick around, will ya……
blunderprone - aahhh, i don’t mind the kids so much. they aren’ t kids, they are chess opponents…i will be playing in the under 1400 section at the next tournament, but hopefully i’ll win enough to start playing in the higher sections…
Scurius - hey man, thanks for stopping by, glad you liked the post. i hope you stick around….
Rocky - woo hoo! i made it past a filter…thanks for reading my crap, i’m glad you can comment now, welcome aboard, jump in and start commenting…
Jeff - sorry about the sticker thing…damn kids, i’ll be careful who i give them to at the next tournament…
his best friend - if the kid is serious and loves it, that is great, and i think parents have to push the kids sometimes, i have no problem with that. i see in your posts how you deal with your kid, you aren’t ruining it for him, you are supportive. i saw other parents at the tourny supportive as well, which is fine. i’m talking about the crazy parents who turn it into some kind of jail sentance and ruin it for the kids. i never thought of chess as an ego thing, but you make a good point…i’ll have to ponder that for a bit..
Grandpatzer said,
May 30, 2007 at 9:00 am
Been busy IRL, just wanted to say I’ve been reading and enjoying.
Can’t agree more about the chess parents (or soccer parents, or spelling bee parents, etc.) I think it’s important for kids to try as many pastimes, pursue as many pursuits, and experience as much, er, experience as they can cram into their childhood, without pushing them too much to do stuff they don’t like (outside of schoolwork, natch). Learn a musical instrument. Ski. Go to museums. Travel. Act in a school play. Build a desk, or weld, or develop film in Industrial Arts class (do they still do that?). Program a computer to pick Dad’s lottery numbers at random.
Thing is, the younger the kid is, the better the brain is at wiring itself to learn new things. I’m not a parent, but it seems to me the most important thing you can do is get your kid interested at an early age in being interested in stuff…any stuff. I think one trademark of a scientist is that you can become interested in anything you turn your attention to. Encourage kids to chase their noses and pursue their interests, and then try to stand back and let them figure things out (with a little nudging here and there).
SonOfPearl said,
May 30, 2007 at 10:36 am
I’m not a parent either, but I’d agree that the pushy chess moms and dads need to lighten up and let their kids be kids.
“my nickname for this tournament should be SARS, as i am deadly against the asian kids” - great stuff!
I laughed out loud at that one!
Blue Devil Knight said,
May 30, 2007 at 11:20 am
I would really like a bumpersticker. My email is bluedevil.knight@yahoo.com. If you would be willing to send me one, we can work int out on the email. You should set up an online shop and make t-shirts, bumperstickers, mugs, etc. (I think blunderprone does that and has a sidebar link to the site that creates stuff for you).
chessloser said,
May 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm
grandpatzer - i understand being busy, thanks for commenting…
son of pearl - thanks for stopping by and commenting, i hope to see you around some more…
BDK - i tried emailing you, got kicked back. if you want a sticker, email me your mailing address, (my email is up there on top of the page) i’ll send you one. maybe someday there will be shirts and mugs and such, but for now, i just like handing out stickers….
Dean said,
May 31, 2007 at 3:50 am
I really enjoyed reading the post. I’m a newcomer to chess, I’ve played in two rapidplay events and recognise what you’re talking about. It all depends on the standards of opponents really. I got 2.5 out of 6 in the first event, but only 0.5 out of 6 in the second. But in the 2nd event I played much stronger opponents (compared to me). I think with children, their ratings can sometimes be lower than their actual strength because they are improving so quickly. Good luck with the next tournament.
Rise and Shine said,
May 31, 2007 at 9:22 am
sweet post
Derek Slater said,
May 31, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Congrats on taking the plunge and coming out with some wins!
chessloser said,
June 1, 2007 at 8:12 am
dean - thanks for dropping by, i hope to see you around some more…
rise and shine - thanks….
derek - thank you
Korsmonaut said,
June 2, 2007 at 8:15 am
Love your style. I nearly had a coke-through-the-nose moment with the SARS comment. That came out of left field. Brilliant.
chessloser said,
June 3, 2007 at 6:59 am
korsmonaut - thanks man, glad you like it…
Boylston Chess Club Weblog: Holiday Chess said,
June 4, 2007 at 8:55 am
[...] freedom. That being said, there was still plenty of time to play chess during the long weekend.The best Memorial Day weekend chess report comes from chessloser at Hardcore Pawnography. He attended his first OTB tournament — the US [...]
DG said,
June 4, 2007 at 8:58 am
Trackback from Boylston Chess Club Weblog
Holiday Chess
I have no doubt that most chess bloggers took a moment or two over the Memorial Day holiday to think about the many heroes who have given their lives in the defense of freedom. That being said, there was still plenty of time to play chess during the long weekend.
The best Memorial Day weekend chess report comes from chessloser at Hardcore Pawnography. He attended his first OTB tournament — the US Amateur West Championship in Tucson, Arizona…
former child player said,
June 11, 2007 at 5:49 am
I was reading your commentary on the parent/child relationships at your tournament, and I have to say, I started having childhood flashbacks. But not only was my mom the annoying pushy woman with the tote bag full of notation pads, extra pencils and “brain snacks”-designed to stimulate the mind so I didn’t start to lag halfway through the game-my dad was the coach. I remember (not so fondly) being dragged out of bed way too early to watch Saturday morning cartoons and stuffed into the car for yet another tournament.
And while I was never told that I couldn’t swim (who would even have the audacity to ask that at a CHESS tournament?!?!?) I did get reamed a few times for playing way too fast and losing. I vividly remember hiding behind some bushes for about a half hour so my mom would think it took longer for me to get my thrashing than it actually did.
chessloser said,
June 11, 2007 at 12:34 pm
former child player - wow dude, i’m sorry.