hardcore pawnography

i spent the weekend in tucson, arizona at the ye olde pueblo chess tournemnt, held at the holiday inn. same venue as the US amateur west 2007. saw some of the same folks, met more new ones, missed some from the last tournament (jeff the coach, hope you’re doing well). this tournament seemed more subdued, smaller, even though there was cash prizes involved as well as rating points. i would think the cash would draw more folks, but the US am west seemed like it drew more people.

for me, the theme of this event was “ratings.” it baffles me how placing some arbitrary number next to a name can evoke such a physical response. is he rates lower? then i should win, i have confidence, perhaps i am overconfident, if i lose it’s crushing. is he rated higher? i am intimidated, yet now i have a desire to prove myself, play strong, and take points. if i win i feel godlike, if i lose it’s not so bad, i mean, the number next to his name said i “should” lose. it’s weird how i/we start to judge people by the number next to thier name. i hear the prisoner right now, “i am not a number, i’m a free man.” i know, intellectually, not to worry about ratings, play the damn game, play the pieces not the opponent, play good chess and the ratings will come. by i see a number, my heart races faster for fear or excitement. i wonder, if you hooked up a chessplayer rated at 1600 to a heart machine and flashed numbers from 900 - 2200, just numbers, not telling him they mean anything, would he react?

it’s a 5 round tournament, 5 possible points, i plan on getting at least 4, hoping for 5. the first round was friday night, 7:00 p.m., so there were lots of buys, people had to travel, people with real jobs had to get off work, etc. i played. i figured, losing one extra game would give me that much more experience. overall it was a good tournament. smaller crowd, more serious, less of a festival atmosphere, more laid back in some ways.

DAY 1

friday night. i arrived, checked into the hotel, went down to make sure i was registered, and hung out waiting for the tournament to begin. watching a game, i overheard some kid ask another if he wanted to play. the kid didn’t, so i turned around and said “wanna play a game?”

kid’s name was kyle, him and his dad were in the tournament, they drove all the way from new mexico, he had been in town for the chess camp that just ended. we began, no clock, just an informal game, i was white. i saced a bishop (or maybe a knight, i forget) trading for a pawn to open the h file. his queen was all up in my grill, putting pressure on everything i had, but it was just a queen, no back up help, so i didn’t think there would be mate. he asked what section i was playing in, i explained the “under 1400 booster” section. he was playing in the open section, kid is in the 1700’s. super nice kid, he explains that i shouldn’t sac a piece on a attack that will go nowhere. how cool is that? he takes time to teach me, show me where i went wrong, he didn’t rub my face in it or point and laugh or make me feel stupid (which i can feel without anyone’s help) but he pointed out where i could be better, right when i needed it, where i wouldn’t forget. cool kid.   ( i didn’t see him last round, i assume they had to get back to santa fe and he took a bye.  i think he finished with 3 or 4 points).  some others gathered around and i think he got distracted, or perhaps he was being nice, but i won our little game.  now, this is before the tournament, it didn’t count, it was a warm up for us, a friendly game. holy crap, i won.  i am now afraid i used up all my chess for the night and i’m gonna lose. dammit!

standing around, i see a guy in an obnoxious orange hawaiian shirt. i look at him, he at me, and we shake hands. it’s wang. i finally meet someone from the chessblogosphere. we make plans to get a beer after the round.

Round 1 - i decided i willlive the HARDCORE PAWNOGRAPHY lifestyle and play violent, decive chess. so i meet my opponent, larry, an older guy. turns out it’s kyle’s dad. this is good, at least i get to lose to someone my age, and not get my ass kicked by a kid. the tournament begins, it is a mellow, calm feeling. since most people just arrived, it feels more informal, like a huge friday night chess club. i am white, i open with a queen’s pawn. last tournament all the kids played sicilian, i don’t feel like dealing with the sicilian, and also, all the tournament books i study of grandmaster games are mostly d4 openings, so for this tournament, i will only play d4 as white. it should rattle the little bastards and i feel comfortable with it. it’s a pretty even game, but on move 21 he blunders and i take his rook, the game ends a few moves later. i won my first round. hopefully this is a sign of how things will go.

later that night, me, my wife, and want head out to the surly wench for a beer. i promised wang i’d buy him one, and i’m a man of my word, and i want to celebrate my first win. honestly, i’m not much of a beer guy, i prefer wine, but i went with a beer that had a cool label, and it was a damn tasty beer, from ska brewing company called buster nut ale. wang is a fun, funny dude, and damn he knows chess. the guy KNOWS his stuff, and we have a lot in common, including a weakness for bookstores. the band was setting up, it was getting late, there was chess to be played the next day, so we called it a night.

DAY 2

Round 2. - i’m paired against a kid rated 200 points higher than me. kid’s name is ben hook, he has a strong confident handshake, he is a regular average kid. again i am white, i open with d4. i am playing strong, i am calclating his next move, the power in the game shifts between him and me and we are even. his queen threatens mate, my queen puts soe pressure on him, it’s a really really good game. i get up to go to the bathroom, and perhaps rather than giving me a fresh perspective on the game it broke my concentration, but somewhere around move 40 i fuck up. i move my knight for a tactical combination, he sees it and doesn’t fall for it. i planned to move my knight back, but instead i move a pawn and he takes my hanging en pris unprotected for no reason free knight. the amazing power of one piece. one piece up for him, down for me. it’s a slow progression down and i lose. but i am not upset, not at all. somewhere during the game, he told me he used to be a 1500 or something and should be playing up, but he hadn’t played in a year and he is now under 1400. again with the numbers. but i don’t mind losing because it was a good game, i played my best, i made an honest mistake that i should have been punished for, and i really liked this kid. i didn’t mind losing to him at all, i respected him as an opponent. i think he ended up with 4 points, and he deserved each one.

a few hours until the next round, everyone is reviewing and analysing thier games, studying for the next round, me and the wife go out to buy a new car. we know what we want, a good solid american car (toyota corolla. made in the usa, lasts 200,000 miles, gets 41 mpg. comes in electric blue). we go in, tell them we want to buy the car, we do the dance but thanks to car buying tips i use terms like 2% holdback and such, i sound like i know what i’m doing, i make an offer and they take it. does this mean i can write the check and leave? no. you can’t walk in, buy a car and leave, you have to wait for i don’t know what. this takes hours. more hours than i want or have. my wife explains i’m in a tournament and they need to hurry so i can get across town on time. as we wait, they all ask what kind of tournement i’m in. i say “chess tournement” and they look at me. i am wearing a t-shirt that says “arizona state prison: a gated community,” i have a chain wallet, batman logo chuck tayolor high top converse, and tattoos. i guess i don’t look like what they expected. they are nice about it though, they speed it up, we have enought time to drive fast back to the hotel, stopping for a hot dog (we hadn’t eaten and we were starving) and tired and a bit frazzled i am read for my next game.

Round 3 - i’m black, playing against josh pennock, the 10 year old son of one of the tournament organizers. another nice kid, freindly and happy. rated lower than me, but i watched him play a blitz game with a freind before the match, i have to be careful. he opens up with……d4! the ONLY kid i’ve seen open with d4. i like this kid, he is going places. i don’t play HARDCORE chess like i planned, i am tentative. he is cautious, and mid game, the board is locked up tighter than charles manson. i want to take a picture of the board. kid offers a draw, i decline, i want to see where this is going. the board has to be opened up somehow, i position my army and sally forth into the fray. i send some men foward to die clearing a path and opening up lines into the enemy camp. it gets bloody, back to violent decicive chess. i win. this kid is going to be good someday. the only kid i’ve seen play d4, just like the grandmaster’s play. i tell him so, for the rest of the tournament, when we see each other, he says hi, we ask how each other’s games are going. if he were 11 years older, i’d buy him a beer.

the game ends too late to catch the roller derby so me and the wife return to the surly wench to celebrate my second win and join in the after roller derby party (that it’s the roller derby bar). i have 2 points, if i win my next 2 games, i will be ecstatic, and i should win the next 2 games. a few ska brewing company beers later i’m tired, the rollerderby is just letting out and the girls won’t be here for another hour, so we leave. on the way out of the bar, my wife gives the doorman a HARDCORE PAWNOGRAPHY sticker for the front door, which he takes and sticks. awesome. we get back to the hotel, there had been a storm, everything is dark. they have been without electricity for 2 hours, which means some of the games had to be adjourned. i missed all the excitement and adventure cause i was drinking on the other side of town. wang was there though, so check his blog details on that adventure.

DAY 3

Round 4 - i’m playing black against a kid rated lower than me. i try not to look at the ratings, i can’t help it. i should win. kid walks in and i’ve seen him playing others, he is whiny about little niggling crap. he calls the TDs to complain about little things and is a stickler for the rules. during the game, he keeps writing moves down, erasing them, then thinking, THEN moving. i tell him he needs to move first, he says ok. then two moves later, he writes, thinks, moves. i tell him again, but i don’t get the TD. i don’t like this kid. i hate this kid. perhaps it’s the beers and late night, perhaps my disdain for this little fucktard, but i’m just moving pieces, i’m not even watching the game. i’m down and pissed. we trade off queens and rooks and i am up a rook and bishop to his rook, pawns are even. i’m gonna queen, he’s gonna queen, i fuck up with my bishop and he takes it and i lose and he wins. the little fuck. i am PISSED. for a few reasons:
1. he is rated lower, he really isnt’ that good, i am a better chess player than he is, i should have won.
2. my fucking rating is going down. i should have played better chess, i hate myself, i am embarrassed.
3. i don’t respect my opponent. i don’t like the kid. he has to resort to complaining to cover his lack of chess skills, but then he “cheats” constantly. this kid will burn in the deepest circles of chess hell for his chess sins. and i lost to him.

this loss ruins my day and my stomach burns and knots all day about it. i won’t get over this for a while. i don’t even want to play the next round.

Round 5 - last round. whatever, i don’t care. i don’t deserve to be called a chess player, not after last game’s abortion. i’m tired, i’m drained. i’ve played 4 whole games of chess. over three days. that is NOT a grueling schedule. but i’m not the only one feeling it. jessica, a cool chick i’ve seen play, she is in the 1500’s or so, says she is withdrawing and not playing the last round. others are not showing up. fuck it, one more game, let’s get it over with.

i look at the pairings. oh no. i’m playing the little kid i beat last tournament, he is rated higher than me (still, but lower than last time) and he is the kid who’s mom was angry at him. i go to the board, his mom and him are there. i smile and say a freindly “hi” and the mom glares are me. she is trying to kill me with her eyes. he smiles but it’s a smile of fear. his mom bends down and speaks in chinese to him, pointing at me. his mom hates me, and i think she is threatening him if he loses to me. i feel so bad for this kid. the game begins, he is trying to be tough and strong. i am smiling and trying to be freindly and gentle and meek. this is crazy, it’s a fucking game that means nothing. to me. to him, i think it means his parent’s love, his future. how much pressure does this 10 year old have on him? he is going to have an ulcer by 15. he’s already lost, its just a matter of moving the pieces to prove it. i am white and open with d4. a few moves later, i make what i think is an obvious attack on a pice, he doens see it, i take a bishop and a rook for a horse. he is down. we play on, it gets down to his king a a few pawns against my queen and a queening pawn. he is beat but he can’t resign. i am tired and don’t want to play, the game is over, but he plays on. is he making me work for it? maybe. i admire and pity him. on one hand, he is playing it to the end, never giving up, fighting on. on the other hand, he doesn’t want to, he is compelled to. he looks at me and smiles, the smile of someone who is dying of cancer and knows they have about an hour left to live. i have two queens, he is mated. i tell him he played very good, i tell him in 10 years he will be a master, if not a grand master. he says “no.” i ask if he likes chess, he says “yes, but…” and stops. i tell him not to worry, he is smart and a good player, i don’t know what else to say. i’m not happy with my win, i feel bad about beating this kid. i want to slap his mom.

the tournament is over, for me anyway. me and wang watch two masters play. wang points stuff out to me, i learn from him, he know’s his shit. i have 3 points, i’ll finish in the top 15 of my section. i should be happy, i won more than 50% of my games. my rating should stay the same, maybe go up a point or two. dammit, i should have beat that little fuck. if i won that game, i’d have 4 points, (the winner of my section will have 4.5 points) and my rating would have been better. i lost because *I* lost. i played bad chess. no one’s fault but mine. dammit.

overall, i had fun. i made some new freinds, i met wang. go read his blog. here , for his take and spin on the event. the atmosphere was more relaxed, “professional,” it seemed only the true chess players, the hardcore chess players, were there.

mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. i didn’t get a chance to interview a master, they were always playing or not around, so as a wanna-be semi-legit chess blogger/journalist/enthusiast i failed.

thanks to the tournament dirctors and organizers, they put in a lot of work, dealt with a blackout as best they could, shuffled schedules and times, and were always helpful and freindly. if you ever have the time and can, come out to tucson for a tournament.

i look forward to the next tournament, wherever it may be.