Evel Knievel is dead
really, he was 69.
in honor of him, as an homage, my d7 pawn will attempt to jump over the d 6,5,4,3 and 2 squares, which will be on fire, land on the d1 square, become queen, and mate the king. all blindfolded.
i have a great new chess training idea!
i don’t know about most people, but going back and forth between reading the moves in a book and making them on a board is a hassle. i always lose my place during long lines, i make the wrong move, i end up paying more attention to reading the move than making it and seeing what the position is.
so here is my idea: i get a chick with a phone-sex quality voice to record the moves on cd/tape/8track/mp3, whatever. then, you can listen to the moves and concentrate on the board as you make them. you could also listen to the moves as you fall asleep, to get them ingrained into your brain, listen to them driving, whatever. and since the chick has the sexy voice, you will want to listen to them all the time, and you will get better even if you don’t want to.
and it’s great for the kids! you won’t have to force them to study their chess, they will study all the time.
and that’s my cool idea. for now, i just have my wife read me the moves out of the book, which she patiently does.
YµRokewL aka Brechstange said,
December 1, 2007 at 10:43 am
…better idea ! Dont let your sexy chick or your wife talking while you learn chess ! Just let the woman makes the moves on you board
All you have to do now is just thinking about the position. If you want the next move of the book, just clap twice and your woman will do a good job.
yk
Blunderprone said,
December 1, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Thus the birth of the the Chess Pod-cast. I’ll have buy apple stock now.
Brian H. said,
December 1, 2007 at 5:48 pm
“as an homage, my d7 pawn will attempt to jump over the d 6,5,4,3 and 2 squares, which will be on fire, land on the d1 square, become queen, and mate the king. all blindfolded.”
LMAO!
That is almost, _almost_, as funny as the Flavor Flav chess clock necklace!
Brian H.
peteydaddy said,
December 1, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Great idea! It would be even better if every few moves, she’d let out a moan of pleasure, or a satisfied sigh. Maybe she could even make a few comments: “Oooh… Nice move, your majesty!” and “Yes! Nobody forks better than you do!”
Seriously though, having an audio recording would allow for much easier analysis and review, I think. Good idea.
Soapstone said,
December 1, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I”m afraid I have only serious advice on this one. If you are proficient at studying chess on a computer with software such as ChessBase, there are some pgn files on websites that replay the moves of many books. Namely the sites are Gambit Chess DB Books (http://www.gambitchess.com/semi/dbbooks.htm) and Ossimitz (http://wwwu.uni-klu.ac.at/gossimit/c/) I have saved all the files and occasionally they come in handy, but they often don’t have all the variations and subvariations. It might be too tedious to do, and I have only decided to juggle book, computer, chessboard a few times. A lot of the zip files require a password. If you pursue it, email me and I might be able to help you with the password.
Edwin said,
December 2, 2007 at 12:20 am
There’s nothing to say that i haven’t allready said. You have a talent for making up stories like this and they make me laugh out loud time and time again.
Edwin said,
December 2, 2007 at 12:24 am
Still, your ideas definitely have potential and are really original. You should really get them pattented. Cause before you know it, someone else will make a product out of your sexy phone chess chick thing. I mean, from what i know, those reading tapes are pretty hot in the states. But i have never heard them being chess related yet.
Edwin said,
December 2, 2007 at 1:04 am
That should read “remarkable talent”.
Blue Devil Knight said,
December 2, 2007 at 3:09 pm
I was really sad about Evel. One of my favorite toys was an Evel Knievel car that you would wind up with a crank and when it hit the wall it would explode into a million pieces as the body of the car was ejected with a spring connected to the front bumper. It was awesome to explode that car. What boy growing up in the 70s didn’t want to be Evel Knievel?
Liquid Egg Product said,
December 2, 2007 at 8:39 pm
He seemed older for some reason.
Cracking up on the d-Pawn jumping imagery.
The only thing is that kids mayy be more freaked-out over a phone-sex voice. Although puberty has been happening earlier and earlier recently, so you never know.
Blunderprone said,
December 2, 2007 at 10:14 pm
My choice of voice overs for my chess pod cast would be Jeannie’s from classic ” I dream of Jeannie” saying things like ” OK master” and ” Let me fix that”
Chessaholic said,
December 3, 2007 at 12:04 am
LOL this is too funny… but why just record the sexy chick’s voice? why not have her be there in person and read them out to you live? might cause some problems with the spouse though.
chessloser said,
December 3, 2007 at 7:48 am
yurokewl - i want to move the pieces myself, so i get in the habit of moving them, but i like the idea of clapping and the pieces get moved….
blunderprone - i just might start a chess podcast - it would be cool to have barbara eden reading, but also, not just chicks, big name stars. imagine, Patrick Stuart reads “the benko gambit games” and “james earl jones reads the sicilian games”….
brian h - what if the pawn wore a chess clock, ala Flavor Flav, as he made his jump?
peteydaddy - i was thinking of the inflection on moves like “Bg5!” she would be all breathy and excited….
Soapstone - funny you should mention that…i am not at all proficient in studying with my computer, even though i have fritz and chessbase. i was gonna post on this, how i have the tools but i don’t’ know how to use them…
Edwin - i want to find a female who will actually record a game’s moves and put it on here…
Blue Devil Knight - i had the Evel Knievel motorcycle and stunt van toys as a kid….
Liquid egg product - like i said to blunderprone, there could also be famous actors reading, like patrick stuart or james earl jones….
chessaholic - i would have to explain to my wife “but i am studying chess!!!!” and she still might not buy it, especially if the girl is dressed in a french maid outfit….
Wahrheit said,
December 3, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I knew your wife was a gem but if she patiently reads you moves out of chess books she’s a freakin’ Hope Diamond!