hardcore pawnography

first off, a belated happy birthday to Liquid egg product.

just got back from the 2008 Far West Open Chess Tournament in reno, damn i feel good. it may have been “small”, what with it being easter weekend and foxwoods going on at the same time, but there were a few grand masters, a whole chess hall full of people, and it was a damn good time.

the drive across utah and nevada is long, and there is a whole lot of nothing, so you can drive 100 mph and it doesn’t matter. we stopped at the bonneville salt flats,

and my wife met a ghost in a rest stop, so that was surreal and interesting. driving for hours through the arid wasteland makes me think of post apocalyptic movies like damnation alley and road warrior, makes me think of the dark tower series by steve king, makes me wonder what the pioneers did without a highway or cd players. those guys had some stones. i drive, looking for signs of aliens, wondering which mountain is the hollow one with the huge city in it. it gives you time to think, i thought about lots of crazy crap, some of it i might post later this week.

so i get to the tournament hall for registration, and a few minutes later some tough looking young chessslinger comes up to me and introduces himself, it’s Kevin, who is cool like the other side of the pillow. also chris is with him and it feels cool to show up and kind of know people. i feel like i’m part of a community, it’s neat. then, i’m standing around, and this guy walks by and kind of surreptitiously takes a picture of me, but i see it. i move to another room and he walks by and does it again. i don’t mind pictures, just come up and say “hey, let me get a picture” but this is odd. later in the tournament i talk to him, his name is bob, he is a super cool, wierd chess enthusiast who is a bit of a brilliant mad genius and totally fascinating. he gives me this wierd “crash course” in chess that involves determinism, stienitz and morphy, fischer, and was just out there, cool. chess people are strange. i hope i see him again.

GMs Larry Evans and Sergy Kudrin were there, i didn’t think they would remember me. i went into the bathroom, and next thing i know, kudrin has my arms pinned back and evans is kicking me and punching me. this is payback for the shitty embarrassingly sucky interviews, i can’t argue with them. (ok, that didn’t happen, but it would be hilarious if it did).

wahrheit gives me a call, he isn’t playing but stops by to see everyone, we get some coffee and pie and talk, it’s great to see him again.

overall it is a great tournament totally worth going to. reno is a cool town, two blocks away is the riverwalk with parks and coffeeshops and restaurants and bars and art and architecture. what a damn cool town. the tournament itself is cool, the vendor is good, the people and players are pretty interesting and rather freindly. i was a bit surprised, not a lot of kids, less than i would expect. i think there were more older people in the d section than kids, but the kids there were having a good time, there was a cool relaxed vibe to it all.

the coolest hair and most fucked up opening will go to mike

who won 2.5 points in the A section playing 1. e3, 2. Ke2, 3. Kf3. no shit. it’s gotta be the hair.

GM kudrin played some cool games, also GM yermolinsky was there,

GM Melik Khachiyan, who looks like phil collins was there.

i got an interview with him, which i will post tomorrow, and i even talked for a few minutes with jennifer acon, who was pretty cool.

the whole thing was pretty damn fun, i saw people i met in october last time i was in reno, i met new folks who were pretty damn cool, i didn’t go to the casino though, so no roulette for me. still had a great time.

DAY ONE

ROUND 1 - i’m playing black against a 1281, an old guy, looks like the distant cousin of death. perhaps it’s his game face, perhaps he just doesn’t smile ever, maybe he isn’t feeling that well, who knows. i’m not feeling all that into it, i’m detached, not “in the moment.” i get the first 5 moves of the grunfeld out, but the guy is taking his time, he is wearing me down. i am jared from subway, he is a jelly donut wrapped in bacon and dipped in chocolate, and i just can’t take it. mentally i toss the game like a trucker tosses a pissbottle out the window as he drives down the highway. by move 13 all my pieces have returned to the back rank. by move 16 i don’t want to play and i just want it to be over. i suck and i hate it. i lose and i’m embarrassed and i hate myself. while i didn’t blunder, i played like a scared, shell shocked little timid pussy. here is the game in all it’s gay ass embarrasing glory.

winters - chessloser

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 g6 3. Nc3 d5 4. cxd5 Nxd5 5. e4 Nxc3
6. bxc3 Bg7 7. Nf3 O-O 8. h3 c5 9. Be3 Nc6 10. Qd2 cxd4
11. cxd4 Re8 12. Rd1 Bf8 13. d5 Nb8 14. Be2 a5 15. O-O Nd7
16. Bb5 b6 17. Rfe1 Ba6 18. Bc6 Rc8 19. Rb1 Rb8 20. Bh6 Qc7
21. Bxf8 Nxf8 22. Bxe8 Rxe8 23. Rbc1 Qd7 24. Ne5 Qa4 25. Qf4 f6
26. Ng4 Nd7 27. d6 Ne5 28. Nxe5 fxe5 29. Qxe5 exd6 30. Qd5+ Kg7
31. f3 Qa3 32. Rc7+ Kh6 33. Qd2+ g5 34. Re3 Qa4 35. Qxd6+ Kh5
36. Rxh7#
back in my room i sulk and lay on the bed and my mind is filled with thoughts of “fuck reno, i hate it here. i hate this fucking dirty shitty town, i hate this crappy ass tournament held in this shitty hotel. the bed is uncomfortable, the room is ugly, i hate it here. fuck chess, i clearly am not smart enough to play it, and it bores the shit out of me, i’d rather be home riding my bike. in fact, i suck at that as well, and now that i think about it, my whole life is a huge failure, i hate me and i hope i die soon.

i let this all out to my wife, who silently listens and doesn’t’ say anything, just lets me vent. i then decide i said i would play violent chess, i need to. i need to be like morozevich, all or nothing, balls to the wall in your face go big or go home chess. we walk to the starbucks, get a cup of coffee and the sun and air and caffeine rejuvenate me. back at the room i take out my chess notebook and look at the moves i wrote down for three attacking games, one as white, one as black against e4, one as black against d4. i go over them and decide no matter what happens, i will play these moves as a guide. this moment is important, it is the birth of my “pre-game rountine.” (there will be more on that later this week)

ROUND 2

ok, its me against an unrated kid, it’s his first tournament. by move 5 i realize he has no idea what he is doing. it won’t matter how sloppy i play, i will win, and i do. i’m not proud of the win, but it is a confidence boost and i do actually feel a bit better. at least i can go to bed feeling ok.

DAY TWO

ROUND 3

i play white against another kid, alvin “king” kong, rated 1279. i go through my pre-game moves, i am ready. he makes some small errors, i realize they are not the best moves but i don’t know how to capitalize on them. at least i know enough to recognize they are not good, now i need to know how to exploit them. i miss a tactic on move 10, but i saw it as soon as i castled. i need to take my time and think and look. i do, i wear him down. i have this attack going, but i can’t make it work, he beats me back. it feels all positional, lots of threats and moving, not much actual taking. his damn bishop is hampering me, my light squared bishop is useless. for some reason, he lets me open up my white squared bishop and i eventually take his annoying bishop. i feel like a back alley abortionist as opposed to a skilled johns hopkins surgeon. i might get the job done, but it’s ugly and ungraceful. i feel bad for the kid, i wish i was better, he has to be sitting there thinking “come on you stupid old man, just kill me.” i reposition, i trade some stuff off, i move in for the kill and he finally, thankfully resigns when he sees i will take all his pieces. my second win, and at least i am a bit proud of this one. there is hope for me. i go down to the river walk to meet my wife, it’s sunny and beautiful. reno is a cool hip awesome town, people are in the park, there are kyackers doing tricks in the river, there are kick ass restaurants, i love it here, what a great vibe. i want to move to reno.
here is the game:

chessloser - kong

1. d4 e5 2. d5 Nf6 3. c4 Bc5 4. Bg5 O-O 5. Nc3 h6
6. Bh4 c6 7. e4 d6 8. Bd3 Nbd7 9. Nge2 Qb6 10. O-O Qc7
11. Ng3 Nb6 12. Bxf6 gxf6 13. Nh5 Qe7 14. Qf3 Kh8 15. Ne2 Rg8
16. Neg3 Nd7 17. Nf5 Qf8 18. Qh3 Rg6 19. a4 cxd5 20. exd5 Qe8
21. Nfg3 Nb6 22. Qh4 Qe7 23. Bxg6 fxg6 24. Nxf6 Kg7 25. Nge4 g5
26. Qg3 Bf5 27. Nh5+ Kg6 28. Qf3 Rf8 29. Nhg3 Bd7 30. Qd3 Kf7
31. Nxc5 dxc5 32. Rae1 Bc8 33. Re3 Nd7 34. Rfe1 Ke8 35. Qc3 Kd8
36. Qa5+ b6 37. Qxa7 Qf6 38. Rf3 Qe7 39. Rxf8+ Qxf8 40. Ne4 g4
41. d6 Qf4 42. Qc7+

ROUND 4

i am black against a 1256 who looks like bill engvall. i feel froggy, i try an attack. on move three i expect him to block with his knight, but he blocks with the bishop. i don’t think it will work but i go ahead with my plan anyway, just to see how far i can get. things go otherwise according to plan, then he plays d5 which fucks up my whole program. do i deal with that like i should? do i play my pawn out, get my knight into the attack? no, i stubbornly force my plan, knowing full well it won’t work, thinking “i’m committed, its all or none” when it wasn’t. i think i can sac my knight and still get what i need, turns out my calculation was way off and i just end up a piece down for no reason. i know i’m gonna lose but i go ahead anyway, and my raging attack turns out to be an impotent old man’s advances on a young hot girl. i lose. i don’t feel too bad, i wanted to see what would happen, i had a plan and wanted to see how far i could go with it.

here is the game:

kelly - chessloser.

1. d4 e6 2. c4 Bb4+ 3. Bd2 Bxd2+ 4. Qxd2 f5 5. Nf3 Nf6
6. Nc3 O-O 7. e3 b6 8. Be2 Bb7 9. O-O Ne4 10. Qc2 Rf6
11. Rfd1 Rg6 12. d5 Ng5 13. Nxg5 Qxg5 14. Bf3 Nc6 15. dxc6 Bxc6
16. Bxc6 dxc6 17. g3 Rh6 18. f4 Qg4 19. Qg2 Rh3 20. Qxc6 Rf8
21. Qxe6+ Kh8 22. Ne4 h5 23. Nf2 Rxg3+ 24. hxg3 Qxg3+ 25. Kf1 Rf6
26. Qe8+ Kh7 27. Qxh5+ Rh6 28. Qxf5+ Rg6 29. Qh3+ Qxh3+ 30. Nxh3 Rg3
31. Ng5+
we go out and i soothe my sore soul with a gin and tonic at the imperial, the coolest hippest bar in reno. why did i choose this bar? cause there were a bunch of fixed gear riders there, so you know it’s gonna be good. they have tasty chicken satay and calamari as well. i’m not upset when i go to sleep.

2:30 am, i wake up. all i can see in my mind is that last position, me foolishly sacing a knight. i think about how all i had to do was move d3 and bring my knight out, or push the fucking h pawn, anything but what i did. fuck, i hate me, and i can’t sleep, that damn game is going over and over in my mind. i read a bit and eventually fall back asleep, but i’m gonna be tired and out of it the next day, i just know it.

DAY THREE.

it’s easter sunday, we get up early and go to church before the next round. i would have tried sacrificing a chicken or something, but since i’m in church, i beg and plead and try to make a deal with god to let me play well and win another game. after church, we go to the starbucks, i go to the room to play over the moves, and i head down to the chesshall for a fight.

ROUND 5

i’m black against a 1349. dude plays 1e4 and i hit him with the sicilan pin variation, cause no one knows it. i fuck it up a bit, lose some momentum, but i think “no, i gotta play attacking chess” and i attack. my bishop comes develops with an attack, my queen sets up with an attack, i am playing well. this is my best game of the tournament, i am in control, i feel good. we get to a position where i could take his knight and he cant do shit cause i mate, but i miss that and attack his rook with a pawn. no matter, whatever happens, i take his knight. he resigns. perhaps he was tired, perhaps i distracted him by getting up and down and squirming like an impatient 5 year old. no matter, i got lucky and i won. sweet ass sweet! here is the game, i’m very proud of it. i treat myself by going to the vendor and buying chessbase 9.

i now own chessbase9. i have to keep playing chess to justify buying this.

here is the game, i think it’s my best game of the tournment:

mayfield - chessloser. 1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Nc3 Bb4
6. Bd3 Qa5 7. Bd2 Qe5 8. Nf3 Qc7 9. Qe2 e5 10. a3 Bxc3
11. Bxc3 O-O 12. Bxe5 Qb6 13. Bd4 Qd8 14. O-O-O d5 15. e5 Re8
16. Rhe1 Nc6 17. Qd2 Ne4 18. Bxe4 dxe4 19. Rxe4 Bf5 20. Rf4 Qc8
21. Qc3 Qe6 22. Kb1 h6 23. h4 Rac8 24. Rd2 Qg6 25. Ne1 Nxe5
26. Qg3 Ng4 27. Be3 Nxe3 28. Qxg6 Bxg6 29. fxe3 Rxe3 30. Nf3 Be4
31. Rf2 Rd8 32. Kc1 g5
ROUND 6

i don’t want to play. i’m happy, i’m a bit tired, i don’t’ want to play and i don’t care if i win or not. i was hoping to get three wins, and i did. i figure i will just have fun. i meet my opponent, i am white, he is rated 737. fuck. i can’t lose to someone rated under 1000, pressure is on.

i open with d4 he has no idea what to do against it. i’m relieved yet i feel bad. i’m lucky though, my last game is a gimme, i don’t have to think, an easy win, but that is kinda cheap. i tell chris i feel bad, he says “punish him or he won’t learn, then take him to the skittles room and teach him.” that is excellent advice and sets me right. i win and we go over the game and he is a super cool guy, really nice. i don’t know much, but i show him what i know, i tell him the basics of blunderchecking and such.

the tournament is over, i got 4 fucking points!!!! i came in hoping to at least score two or three points, i got four. ok, in reality, two of my games were gimmes, so they kinda don’t count, and the kid wasn’t feeling good, i think he was sick, so he wasn’t on his best game, i got lucky on that one. but i had one really good win and my two losses weren’t slaughters. i didn’t blunder huge, i think i played better than i ever have before. i don’t’ know what place i’m in, but i know i’m in money. me, kevin and vern go to the bar for some beers, the cage is right there, the d section is done, and i get paid $101. holy crap, i won money playing chess.  i don’t want to sound like a rapper, but i have to thank god for my victory.  i know i made a deal with him, i forgot what my end of the bargain was.  this could be bad. we’ll see what happens.

i still don’t know what my rating is, but it has to have gone up. i’m no longer provisional either. now its a long, hard, rocky climb. i’m kind of excited to see what happens.

i want to give a super huge thank you to Kevin, chris, soapstone, wahrheit, and vern, for being so damn cool, making me feel so welcome, making me feel like a local. there is a huge chess community, and i feel like i’m part of it, and that is awesome.

next tournament in reno is in october, i hope i can make it. anyone who has the time and can make it should go, it is so worth it.

ok, now i gotta get ready for last vegas…