hardcore pawnography

me: hey chess, how ya been?

chess: oh, it’s you. so, long time no see. you seem to have been so busy riding your bicycles and drinking, you just cast me aside like a pair of dirty underwear.

me: that’s not true, you can’t say that. while i may not have played at all, or sat and really studied in a few days, i’ve been looking at my tactics flashcards when i can and reading the reassess your chess workbook here and there. you have been on my mind most of the day every day.

chess: oh, yeah, that’s quality time. and now that you have a tournament coming up in about a month, you are gonna just waltz on in and expect me to just let you have your way with me? you want me to just open myself to you, fall all over you?

me: well…um…kinda, yeah. look, i’ve put in many hours trying to understand you and see you for who you really are. i took a few days to enjoy something else, and now i’m back and committed to spending lots of time with you, really really getting to know you. i don’t see why you are playing so hard to get. sometimes, i just don’t get you.

chess: no one gets me, i’m the wind.

me: what? really?

chess: no, i was just being difficult. i’m like that. many do get me, but i can be elusive to even them from time to time. i’m like that. so, why should i bother giving you the time of day?

me: well, i’m gonna spend lots more time with you, i’ll be giving you the attention you deserve. i will still be going to the gym and riding my bike, but my evenings will be spent with you and only you. unless top chef or that new celebra cadabra show where the famous people try to do magic on vh1 is on.

chess: you’re a dick. i hope you don’t expect to do well in chicago.

me: actually i do. i am going to really really study the sicilian, the plans, the tricks, the traps, as much of it as i can. i want to learn how to transition from it to the french smoothly, in case that ever comes up (again).

chess: pshhh. you got a few years? you don’t’ think you are just gonna do this in a week or two, do you?

me: no, of course not, but i gotta start somewhere, and while i’m doing that, going over master games, i’ll also pick up various middle game techniques, tactics, etc. i know it will take me more than a month, i’m in this for the long haul. i’m making a commitment to you, i thought you would have seen that by now.

chess: eh, you tend to be fickle. and you suck. and frankly i’m not all that attracted to you.

me: fine, that’s cool. i will just have to win you over. i’ll pay so much attention to you, you won’t be able to help giving up part of yourself to me. i’ll learn the real you, and maybe, someday, i can at least be one of your lower mild interests. i may not be your full time love, but i can at least be a part time fuck buddy.

chess: damn, way to ruin it. you were doing ok until that last part. why do you have to be like that?

me: i don’t know, that’s just how i see things. anyway, you will be seeing a lot more of me, i promise. but now i gotta get ready for work.

chess: you suck, i hate you.

me: i know, i’m gonna change that though.