how chess directly controls my already pathetic life
some people beleive thier lives are guided by spirits, stars, random voices in their head, wisdom passed on from ancestors that they were just somehow born with, etc etc etc.
my life, sadly, seems to be guided by a fucking game.
first off, i have wanted linux for quite a while. apparently, you get far fewer viruses (virii?) using linux, meaning safer porn surfing. i could so easily install ubuntu linux right on my computer and have a great time, but NOOOOOOO. i can’t. because of chessbase and possibly ICC. there are some weird jerry-rigged ways you can use chessbase with linux, but ultimately to me it’s too sketchy to attempt. chessbase requires windows, won’t work with linux, so i can’t use linux. i think you can use ICC with linux, not totally sure about that, but chessbase? nope.
and that right there is the ONLY reason i don’t have linux on my computer. because of chess. if i didn’t play chess or use or need chessbase, i would have linux. really, i want linux, but chessbase needs freaking windows. and i don’t want to dual-boot.
i used to be quite a voracious reader, making a yearly attempt at reading 52 books a year, a book a week. best i ever did was 43 books a year, but even on slow years i would read at least 30. since i’ve started playing chess, i now read, if i’m lucky, two, maybe three books a year. chess books and cookbooks don’t count. as a result, i feel kind of left out and “blind” and like i’m cut off from the world. not that reading a book brought me closer to anyone or anything, but every book i read definitely changed me, molded me, affected me. my speech patterns, the way i wrote, everything. since i’ve started playing chess, i’ve somehow culturally stagnated.
i used to go to bed early and be semi well rested for the day. now, thanks to damn chess, i’m sitting at a board or looking at a computer screen until i can’t keep my eyes open, staying up late, still having to get up early thanks to the sun and a small, furry, evil demon my wife calls “our cat.” no sleeping late for me, my opposable thumbs must open the door for an outside morning stroll and put food in the bowl for a breakfast. damn cat.
chess also gives me a great excuse to not do things i should be doing, like going to the gym or for a bike ride or cleaning the house or showering. i just don’t have time to do those things as much, or i feel like i should really study an alekhine game, the gym/bike/shower can be done tomorrow.
i’m sure there are other things in my life that are ruled by chess or at least directly affected by chess. i would sit here, think about them and write them down, but i really should check out the “mating patterns” chapter of art of attack right now.
random wednesday crap in my head
if you are ever driving around arizona and see this car
you better reckognize!. that’s my buddy troy, and he aint fuckin around. that licence plate alone got him about 50 rating points. that is dedication.
i’m gonna be getting a chess tattoo. i just have to design it. my vision is a bishop with a skull holding a bloody knife in one hand and the severed head of a king in the other. don’t know if that can be translated into a tattoo….
I wonder if all cultures have fart jokes. Like, in bangladesh, are the poor, leprosy ridden people sitting around miserable, and someone farts, and they laugh? do the tauregs of mali sit around the fire at night telling fart jokes? are farts funny to everyone, or only the people who made it so many rungs up maslow’s hierarchy of needs?
i wonder if studying in the morning is better than studying at night. i’m sure there has been some study that says humans learn better during a certain part of the day. in the morning, while maybe still groggy, your brain is fresh and unencumbered by whatever crap is gonna hit you that day. i would think at night your brain is tired and busy sorting out the day’s events. but i seem more comfortable and natural studying in the evening. when i study in the afternoon, i just get tired and fall asleep.
I want to make ice cream. The three flavors I have come up with so far are Rumphetamine Raisin, Mocha Heroin Swirl, and Pralines and Crack. I think they will be pretty popular with certain crowds.
I want to see badminton in the x-games. If they make everyone wear pads and helmets, and play it on the street, and call it “Street Badminton” then it would be x-treme, and it could be in the x-games. Or perhaps “downhill badminton.” I wonder if cross country bowling would qualify?
finally, i don’t know about anyone else, but i’m addicted to cheese
schrodinger’s cat plays chess
a huge congratulations to carols sastre, spain, and team csc for winning the tour de france . it was great to see him and his team drinking the champagne as they rode into paris. it was a great tour, competitive until the end, no one person dominated and so everyone felt like they had a chance. i thought cadel evans had a shot, but sastre, with quiet determination, kicked ass up the alp d’huez and held his lead in the time trial.
ok, the chess. this might not make sense, i feel like i’m just babbling, but it all makes sense in my mind.
schrodinger’s cat, in a super simplified explanation is: a cat in a box with a vial of poison. there is a 50/50 chance the cat will open the bottle and die. you don’t know what he did until you open the box, so as long as the box is closed, the cat is both alive and dead. by opening the box you force a conclusion.
this is used in quantum physics to explain the possibility of crap happening at a sub-atomic level, alternate universes, various realities, etc. in this reality i am a sucky chess player, based off decisions i made in the past. in another reality, i may have decided to study chess earlier and i am a grandmaster.
but where am i going with this?
yesterday i was going over karpov – beliavsky, linares 1994 (a cool game by the way). on move 14, karpov played h4, and gave himself a few exclamation points for it. thing is, HE PREPARED THAT MOVE 20 YEARS EARLIER. back in 1974 he came up with it, and i guess it took him 20 years of chess playing until he could actually use it.
this got me thinking about analysis. what frustrates me most, and one of the things i don’t much care for is, it’s all just conjecture. what if i had moved here? what if he moved here? just a bunch of different possible realities, branches of possibilities. in karpov’s case, it took him 20 years to make it happen. how many lines did he and others prepare that never happened?
was the time and effort used in preparing those lines wasted?
maybe i am missing the point. i understand preparing for different “realities,” if he moves the knight, i move the pawn, but if he moves the pawn, then i take with the bishop. ok, got it. but there tends to be all this analysis of what COULD have happened, but it didn’t, and chances are it won’t, so why get all wrapped up in possible futures when there is this “now” that i have to deal with?
it just seems to me, and i could be totally off on this, that a lot of chess players like to study “what ifs” and cool possibilities, not taking into account that, they don’t really know what the other guy is gonna do. unless its a forcing move, just because the knight move makes the most sense to you doesn’t mean he is gonna make it. he might make a move you think sucks that ends up destroying you, he might make a move you just didn’t think of, that is neither good nor bad, but you weren’t expecting it and it changed everything.
i don’t care what MIGHT happen. i can’t say for sure what the other guy is gonna do. if i could predict what other people are going to do, i would forget chess and use that power to get laid. yes, i want to know what to do if he moves here or if he moves there. but other than that, i want to know what is the best move now. what makes the most sense in the given position on the board? with all the pieces where they are NOW, what move is best NOW?
i looked at karpov’s 14th move, and it was good, damn good. but i could see karpov was going to take the d5 pawn, and i don’t understand why beliavsky didn’t move his bishop to defend the pawn. if i could see it in a minute, why didn’t beliavsky?
he HAD to see it. so why didn’t he defend that damn little pawn? he didn’t need to have prepared a line 20 years ago to move his damn bishop behind that damn pawn. dammit. as i sit here and type this, i still don’t know why he didn’t move the bishop.
so i went over the rest of the game and more than once i thought, “karpov should have moved here, why didn’t he? why didn’t he take the b7 pawn? damn, those russian guys don’t know shit about chess.”
then in each instance i saw, 2 moves later, why the move i would have made was more wrong than kissing your own grandmother with tongue. turns out, those russian guys do know some things about chess.
perhaps because they did all that analysis and prepared for various realities before they “opened the box” by playing the actual game?
computer vs books
hey, before i forget, there is a new chessblogger in town. let’s all give a warm chessblogging welcome to tom over at http://chessgasm.blogspot.com/.
ok, so DK, who is, in my opinion, a full blown certified genius and all around super nice guy with a truly good heart who will help anyone if they truly need it, left a comment a few posts ago, about me still buying books even though i have some badass chessbase files that he personally sent me (And these files are awesome! and i greatly appreciate them).
so, the question is, i have chessbase9 and all these super awesome files, why am i still buying books? this is the computer age, i should live in the now, get with the program, update myself.
thing is, i really like books. i can sit at my special chess training desk, at my breakfast table, on my couch, or in my bed with a book and my small magnetic chess set. i can go outside with the book, read the book while waiting at a stoplight in my car, or while just driving through traffic.
i don’t have to turn my book on. when i open my book, it doesn’t give me an option to look at other books or waste a few hours playing goddamn desktop tower defense (fuckin liquid egg product getting me re-hooked, he probably goes to AA meetings with a cooler full of “Free beer for everyone!!!)).
don’t get me wrong, i use my chessbase, i look at the files DK sent me and the games i update regularly, and with my new training schedule, i will be using it even more, researching positions and best moves and all that.
but right now, i really love the old skool ease of a book. and it’s not cause i’m old (which i am) and aren’t used to computers. i spent many many years playing computer games as a kid and i’m quite comfortable with computers doing my work for me. it just seems that books are a tad more convenient, and i’m a lazy bastard.
so, yeah, i will still buy books (but not for another year, i’m good with what i got) and i will use my chessbase (even more so in the coming weeks) but no matter how useful the computer becomes, books will always be there.
i don’t think computers and videos will ever totally replace books. it would be cool if they had books that would talk, so you don’t have to switch between looking at the book, looking at the board, then trying to figure out where you were in the book. THAT would be a pretty sweet melding of computers and books right there.
i feel like i should somehow close this post, but i can’t think of how, so i leave you with a joke.
the lesbian frog turns to her lesbian frog lover and says “it’s true, we do taste like chicken”
2 things on my mind
i got two things on my mind today.
thing 1: reading the two morphy books i got, neither of them have the little “x” that shows a capture. Be7 means the bishop went to e7, and if something was there, the bishop took it. also, the books do not have ! or ? marks, cause the authors wanted the reader to figure out for himself what was a badass move or a dumbass move. both moves involve an ass, one bad, one dumb. yet the “bad” is actually good. possibly confusing, but that is the english language. native english speakers all and many non native english speakers understand what i mean when i use these potentially confusing terms.
and i bring that up for a reason. i can say badass or dumbass, and people know what i mean, good or bad. yet in the reviews on amazon about the books, and in the kibbitzer posts on chessgames.com, everyone gets upset because there isn’t a little “x” to show a capture.
come on people. what the fuck is wrong with you all? you are supposed to be chessplayers, intelligent beings who can calculate 5 moves ahead, who can sit for 30 minutes concentrating on a position, who have memorized 7000 positions (and you only need 3000 characters to read chinese!) yet you can’t figure out when a piece takes another? how obsessive compulsive, autistic, and monk-like is that?
so that is my big peeve of the day. grow the fuck up, stop complaining. if you can’t figure out when a piece takes another, then perhaps you should play another game.
thing b: the other thing on my mind, is of course, the world beard and mustache championship happening in 2009, just enough time for me to get my muttonchops in peak condition. i bet more than one of those guys are an old-timey chess badass. with beards like that, they just have to be! i would put my money on the bearded guy with the vest and pocket watch.
lastly, the third of the two things on my mind, is politics. if you don’t care about politics, you can stop reading now.
i’m not sure what mccain or obama have to say about where they stand, but bob barr clearly states where he stands right here and i wish more people would read this and understand he is the only thing that will change the bad direction america has been heading and will continue to head in.
i think the coolest thing he said was, and i’m paraphrasing, “america needs to return to when the world loved and respected us, and stop fearing and hating us.”
obama and mccain will keep us hated and feared. and that just sucks ass. almost as much as whiners who complain that without a stupid little “x” they don’t know when a piece takes another piece. fags.
monday evening
whoo, what happened?
i was all set to go balls to the wall and study chess hardcore, but then i was sidetracked. friday and saturday i worked, and after work, although i planned on studying chess, i was prepping for a party that i had sunday night. starting saturday evening, i was cooking, sunday i cooked all day and sunday night (last night) was the party, where i proceeded to get pretty drunk.
so today, monday, i didn’t’ do crap. instead of going to they gym and coming home and studying, i slept, did dishes, cleaned up from the party, and watched tv.
i did go over tactics a bit, but not for too long. i don’t think it counted as “study.”
the mail brought a happy surprise though: two new chess books. ok, these are the last chess books i will buy for the rest of the year, if not for a whole year, but i got it in my head i needed a book on morphy. i think it has something to do with my new “what would morphy do?” t-shirt, or the fact that i’ve let my hair grow out wierd and i now have hair like morhpy.
either way, i decided i needed to study morphy’s games, how he attacks with tempo and all that. it came down to either “irst book of morphy by frisco del rosario or paul morphy and the evolution of chess theroy by macon shibut. compared reviews on amazon, i looked for what people said, i couldn’t decide which was better, so i got them both.
i quickly went through both of them, i like them both. the book by shibut has an interesting angle though, it talks about how morphy was strong, but this idea that he was invincible and made all the right moves with barely any thought is a total misconception. it shows his blunders, his mistakes, and shows games that he won, but didn’t win too easily. it shows that he was a damn strong player, because he could save a lost game, he could grind it out to the end, he made mistakes but could overcome them.
the book by del rosario uses morphy’s games to illustrate opening, middle, and endgame “rules” that everyone is taught and knows, such as centralize your pieces, don’t expose your king, control the center, etc.
so tomorrow i will wake up, go for a mountain bike ride, then come home and study. seriously study. no fucking around.
as i was thinking about how/what i’m going to study, i had a thought. i do not want to become one of those guys who analyze master games and get wrapped up in the “study of chess.” those guys are awesome, and have developed some great things, but i want to focus on practical playable realistic chess. i don’t know if that is a viable fear or not, i don’t know if you can somehow focus on studying so much you don’t learn how to play chess. i would think you would play better chess, as you would know what moves would lead to what positions and such. but i want to learn to PLAY good solid chess, not learn to STUDY and ANALYZE good chess. i don’t want to get so caught up in “what if he moved here” that i end up with 7 different theoretical positions and i don’t come up with anything to show for it and i end up not learning anything. again, not sure if that is even possible, but i don’t’ want it to happen.
so tomorrow begins a new day, and a new fresh attack on chess.
tonight i will look at some tactics and fall asleep rather quickly.
premature education
i couldn’t hold out any longer, i tried to resist, i tried thinking about baseball or math, i even tried looking at porn (actually, i tried that one most) but i finally gave in and went to chessgames.com and looked at chess.
i am pathetic.
i didn’t study though, i just looked at some of aronian’s games, maybe two or three, and i watched them a few times, just to see how the pieces moved, get a feel for them, see how he lined up a nice mate from 4 moves back, took note of what pieces were where and the potential of the position. but i didn’t study it.
but chess is a slippery slope my friends, yeah verily i say unto you, brothers and sisters, once you take that first step, the other steps seem so easy and before you know it, you are up to your rooks in chess.
i just looked at some games, no harm, right? wrong! next thing i did, i casually walked into my room and got rethinking the chess pieces by soltis out. i didn’t read it, but i did look at some of the words on some of the pages. especially the parts about exchanging, and how in during the game razuvaev – tiviakov 1993, black makes an exchange that looks wrong but favors black because he gets a bad ass outpost and such.
it is an interesting concept to me, and i thought about it a lot. it’s something i need to look for and be aware of when i play, how an exchange can affect pawn structure and what the results of an exchange leaves on the board.
so i stopped looking at chess, watched the tour de france, which was awesome until i found out riccardo rico got kicked out for doping. damn, he was a hopeful, i thought he was gonna be someone. my man damiano cunego isn’t riding well at all, no jersey’s for him.
the cool thing about this year’s tour is, no one person is dominating, so everyone thinks they have a shot, so everyone is racing and trying their hardest, true competition, which brings out the hero and warrior spirits in the riders. it’s all rather exciting. those are some hard men out there.
right now, as of me writing this, in case anyone cares, mark cavendish from team columbia (a brit riding for us americans) won the stage and cadel evans, riding for lotto, is the 5th austrailian to ever hold the yellow jersey. rock on australia. christian vandevelde, who sounds like a ferner, is actually an american on an american team, and is currently in third place overall, only 38 seconds back, which means he has a chance.
after watching cycling, i eventually went to bed, where i kind of looked at some tactics problems before i actually went to sleep.
so it looks like i’m starting to get back into the chess a day or two earlier than planned. today i’m not going balls out, i’ll just figure out what i need to do, and tomorrow, i think i will begin in earnest.
which makes no sense cause i’m off today and tomorrow i work. it’s totally backwards. much like everything i do. no wonder i suck.
muttonchops: the secret to awesomeness at chess and everything else
i’m gonna grow me some muttonchops. clearly all the great ones have em.
notice the eerie resemblance between wolverine and staunton?
breaking like the wind
in the tour de france, riccardo ricco from team saunier duval-scott caught up to lang (who had broken away and was up ahead of the peleton all on his own for a damn long time) from the back of the pack and passed him and won stage 9 in the tour, it was his second stage win in his first ever tour de france. there is no way he will win the whole shebang, but he is making a name for himself and will be someone to watch in the upcoming years. they are in the mountains now, and that is some grueling shit, really exciting. it’s one big rolling soap opera with exciting bits interspersed throughout.
so far my chess hiatus (sounds like a hernia from playing with those super huge pieces you see in a public park) is going well. yesterday i organized my chess books, divided them into openings, game collections, GMs, tactics, and “general,” like “think like a grandmaster” and “rethinking the pieces.”
i am eager to get back into it, but i’m still going to take a few days off, ignoring it. i want to start fresh. that’s cool cause i have the tour de france to watch, i have cycling that must be done, and lots of cooking.
tomorrow i am making chinese duck, where i poach a duck for a few hours in my special chinese red duck stock that i’ve had for a few years (each time i make it, the stock gets richer and tastier) and then i finish it off by crisping up the skin in the oven. the flavors permeate and penetrate the meat of the duck all the way to the bone, make it extra juicy and flavorful. it’s pretty freakin sweet. i’m also experimenting with pasta, i’m currently trying to make “tea pasta” mixing tea instead of egg with flour for the dough. nothing too fantastic so far.
as much as i’m taking a break from chess, i think about it all the damn time. i’m thinking about how i’m gonna study, what i’m gonna study, i’m thinking about how i want to break open the bones of chess and suck out it’s marrow, it’s very essence, and know chess in the biblical sense.
wow, that sounded kinda psycho. but that’s ok, i wanna be psycho for chess much like sonny the cuckoo is cuckoo for cocoa puffs. see, that is what chess needs, some kind of a mascot. something cartoonish and cute that kids will like and they will get into chess. you got charlie the tuna for starkist tuna, joe camel for camel camel cigarettes, all the cereals have mascots, why doesn’t chess?
there could be “chester the chess player”, a funny little guy with rumpled clothes, scruffy three day stubble from not shaving, who smokes and drinks and is constantly playing chess. he would be funny and cute and kids would like him and they would then get into chess.
chess needs some marketing guys on this right away.
and this is what i think about when i’m not thinking about chess.
taking a break
ok, so the whole plan when i got back from philly was NO CHESS for a week, no studies, no playing games, nothing. i wanted to do other things, let me get hungry for it again, and then attack chess study with gusto and feeling.
so far i’ve gone over a bunch of morphy games on chessgames.com, i’ve played a bunch of games on ICC and FICS, and i’ve kind of glanced at some master games from a book (admittedly while watching tv, but it was during commercials and i tried to move the pieces in my mind).
so today, friday the 11th, i begin NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH CHESS (other than probably this writing about it here) FOR ONE WEEK. seriously. i mean it.
there is LE TOUR to watch. one of the american teams, team columbia (the action apparel company), has the yellow jersey (overall leader) and i think the green (sprint leader). they are in the mountains, and the racing has begun in earnest. one of the things that i kind of find interesting is there are only a few americans on the american teams. kim kirchen, who rides for team columbia, is from luxembourg.
speaking of jerseys, in his blog, hidden leaf talked about wearing polka dots after finishing a tactics book. that means he would be “king of the mountains”, meaning finishing the book is like climbing a huge mountain. this got me thinking….
what if chess had jerseys? perhaps a checkerboard jersey for the overall lead, so when you walk into the chess hall, you can see which guy is the overall points leader. yeah, you could look on the sheets at the standings wall, but it would be cool to walk around with your jersey on. and they have those pockets so you could carry around your snack or bottle of anti-bacterial hand lotion or whatever.
yeah, i need a break. ok, starting today, no chess for a week. none. really.
interview with Elizabeth Vicary
of all the kick ass things that happened at the world open in philly, one of the all time best thing, the event that made it all end on such a good note and left a happy feeling lingering inside me, was my interview with the dreamy Elizabeth Vicary, who was cool and kind enough to let me talk to her. turns out not all high rated pretty chess playing women from new york are stuck up….
chess loser: first question, thong or regular panties?
Elizabeth Vicary: it depends on what i’m going to wear.
cl: when did you start playing chess?
EV: two times. the first when i was 11 years old, then on and off, and then, i started in 2005 with gusto.
cl: what is your favorite game, the one you would want everyone to see?
EV: Baginskaite – Vicary 2007 us womens championship. it was a bogo-indian. it’s on chessgames.com. i won a brilliancy prize for it.
cl: what would you do without chess?
EV: sit at home drinking white wine, maybe watching tv. i don’t know what people who don’t play chess do.
cl: does anyone remark on your cool accent?
EV: (rolls her eyes and sighs) yeah…. (gives the look of someone who is on fire and has to deal with people asking them if they know they are on fire)
cl: are crazy people attracted to chess, or does chess make people crazy?
EV: both i think. i don’t know, i’d rather meet crazy people than boring people. at least crazy people are interesting.
cl: how long can you hold your breath?
EV: i don’t know. (so i timed her, she got ready, i said “go” she sat there holding her breath. came out to 1 minute 8 seconds.)
so this was by far one of the most fun interviews i’ve ever done. liz vicary is a genuinely cool, nice person, really smart, a bit off center, has a great sense of humor and timing, and is quite dreamy. i feel truly no kidding honored that i got to meet her and ask her my stupid ass questions and she indulged me.
interview with Dan Heisman
so i just finished a game, i’m walking around the chess hall in my bathrobe and i see Dan Heisman, the guy who wrote all those novice nook articles that helped get me into chess. i ask him for an interview, and he agrees!!!! he was quite good natured about it all, there was a constant humor and genuine goodness coming from the guy. he gave thought to my stupid questions and answered them seriously, and his smile, which never left his face, was 100 percent sincere.
here is the interview….
chess loser: mcdonald’s or burger king?
Dan Heisman: well, i just read a book by mcdonald, i don’t know any good chess players named burger king, so i will say mcdonalds.
cl: what 3 chess players, living or dead, would you have over for dinner to talk and hang out with?
Dan Heisman: i’d like to say Donald Byrne, my coach, he passed away and i’d love to have him back, but let’s say Fischer, because he was controversial. But the young fischer, the 20 year old fischer. kasparov, he is always outspoken, and …(here he really thought for a while, considered morphy since there is so little written about him) let’s say Keres.
cl: is chess taken too seriously?
Dan Heisman: well, everything is at sometime. if it’s your living, you need to be serious, but there are some people who are not quite grand masters who take it too seriously. it’s a game.
cl: how do you deal with losing?
Dan Heisman: losing should be a learning experience. it’s better to lose and learn a lesson than beat someone with a four move mate, not learn anything, and still play badly.
cl: how long can you hold your breath?
Dan Heisman: one minute and ten seconds. well, i used to anyway, now maybe….47 seconds. i hope no one challenges me on it.
he had a train to catch, so i thanked him profusely and he went on his way. what a genuinely nice, super cool guy. heisman is clearly and solidly one of the “good ones” in the chess world, and we should all be thankful we have him.
tomorrow i post the elizabeth vicary interview
34th annual world open: chessin in the city of brotherly hate
i miss the city. the vibe, the energy, the smell of piss and body odor in front of macys, the sketchy looking dudes in the alleys. seriously, i miss it, and when i got to philly for the 34th annual world open, it felt kinda good to be in the middle of it all again.
i got there a day early, so i walked around, got a picture of the liberty bell
and ate a pastrami rueben, consuming more meat in one shot than i do during a regular week. damn it was tasty. it was the best pastrami i’ve had in years, if not in my whole life.
as i walk around the city, i find it best to keep a sharpened pencil, point up, in the same pocket as your cell phone, so when the phone rings, you get a great surprise that lasts for quite awhile, so you can enjoy it hours later.
i was gonna get a picture of the stairs used in Rocky, but they were covered with crap for the upcoming 4th of july festivities, so that didn’t happen. there was a fiesta in the street, with a salsa band and latina’s in tight shorts and high heels dancing with latino’s with addidas and fedoras. it was pretty freakin snazzy and cool, i didn’t want to interrupt them so i watched and enjoyed and moved on.
see, i never saw chess as an endurance event, but it is, holy crap it is. you don’t realize it takes a toll on the body, you think sitting around playing a game is nothing, but you eat like shit (i consumed a small village’s worth of pizza and burgers) you punish your liver (vodka and beer) you don’t sleep (up all night thinking about that one fucking move where i blundered a piece and lost the game, or didn’t take his piece, etc) and it all adds up. nine rounds seem like a month.
the world open was definitely the largest chess tournament i’ve seen, larger than vegas i think. it was a mixed bag of humans; the teams, the kids and the parents, the hustlers, the regulars, the pros, and the bad ass street chess going on in the skittles room with hilarious raucous kibbitzing and chess that looked deadlier than anything a well coiffed grandmaster would come up with. i loved every second of it.
i got to see my good friends Blunderprone (i got a kick ass “what would morphy do” t shirt) and Ivan (i still can’t believe your age), i got to meet the world famous ray cheng (whose book i have and love), likes forests, who won a big ass trophy, and i even got to interview dan hiesman and the dreamy Elizabeth Vicary. (interviews will be posted tuesday and wednesday).
i also met a cool cat named Ernest Cronin, who was playing in the U1600 section. he had the coolest chess tattoo i’ve ever seen.
one interesting thing, due to the layout of the hotel, the chess hall was split in two, with the lower rated folks downstairs, and the grandmasters and upper rated folks upstairs. i guess cause grandmasters are godly, so they get to sit and play closer to heaven, above us mere woodpushing patzers. brahmins up top, untouchables down below.
but that’s cool, cause in the gutters we were partying, as evidence by the world famous ray cheng enjoying his lebowski round.
i myself had a few beer/white russian rounds.
ROUND 1:
i’m excited, i’m ready to kick some ass. i lose. i just play like shit, and that is that. ok, no problem, first loss out of the way, i’m warming up. i’m pissed, but i let it go and that is that. tomorrow i come out in force.
ROUND 2: i’m playing a chess dad whose kid is playing a few sections up. nice guy, owns a bookstore, so i like him, cause i love books. i don’t know what happened, i lose again. goddammit, what the fuck? ok, clearly i am not going to do well here in philly, so i then figured, fuck it, if i can’t play chess, i’ll have fun, and i started drinking. then i started winning
ROUND 3 i’m hanging out in my room, i head on down and notice the elevator is unusually empty. it doesn’t hit me until i get to the paring room and that too is empty. “does the round start at 7?” i ask. “no, 6,” says the sage TD, and i freak out. i rush to the board to find out where i’m playing, i walk around with my drink looking for my board, i find a kid sitting there, waiting for me. i sit down, i have 4 minutes to spare, and i make a move. no doubt the kid was thinking “sweet, free point,” when i come stumbling in and ruin it for him. a few moves later i win my first round. damn. he had probably already won the game in his mind and relaxed, let his guard down. i used psychological warfare on the kid and i didn’t even mean to. i hope that is what it was, cause honestly, he played like shit. nice kid, but he played like shit.
i keep drinking and end up in my room with decredico and ray cheng.
it makes me wonder, i don’t know the truth or science behind it, but it seems i play better when i’m drinking cause the booze quiets the voices in my head. if i think too much about the game, i invariably make the exact worst move possible, which should count for something, cause it’s equally difficult to make the worst move as it is the best move. you make the best move, they accuse you of cheating. you make the worst move, no one says shit. i should get some prize or something. but anyway, when i drink, i play more on “intuition” and i seem to do ok. perhaps if i study super hard and get the actual knowledge deeply burned into my brain, i can rely on intuition and let my subconscious play? i’ll write more on that another time.
ROUND 4 i’m hung over really really bad, i’m tired, i manage a win. i think it was cause i wasn’t thinking, i was just playing. he is aggressive, like a border town pimp peddling his wares, but i hold him off and turn the tables and i somehow manage a win, followed by going to my room and sleeping.
here is the game, i’m black:
1. e4 c5 2. c4 Nc6 3. Nc3 g6 4. f4 Bg7 5. e5 e6
6. Nf3 Nge7 7. Be2 O-O 8. O-O b6 9. d4 Bb7 10. dxc5 bxc5
11. Qd6 Nd4 12. Nxd4 cxd4 13. Qxd4 Nf5 14. Qf2 d6 15. Bg4 Nh4
16. Bh3 dxe5 17. fxe5 Bxe5 18. Rd1 Qe7 19. Bf4 Bxf4 20. Qxf4 g5
21. Qf1 f5 22. g3 Qc5+ 23. Qf2 Nf3+ 24. Kf1 Qxc4+ 25. Ne2 g4
26. b3 Qb4 27. Bg2 Nxh2+ 28. Kg1 Nf3+ 29. Kh1 Rf6 30. Bxf3 Rh6+
31. Kg1 Bxf3 32. Kf1 Rh1+ 33. Ng1 Qb5+ 34. Ke1 Rxg1+ 35. Kd2 Rg2
36. Qxg2 Bxg2 37. Ke3 Qe5+ 38. Kf2 Bf3 39. Re1 Qb2+ 40. Ke3 Rc8
41. Kf4 Qd2+ 42. Ke5 Kf7 43. Rad1 Rc5#
ROUND 5 i’m playing a beer round, and i win. what the fuck is going on? i don’t know if i can take the pressure, it feels weird. eventually the dam is gonna break, my luck will run out, and i will lose. i’m tired as well.
here is the game, i’m white:
1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 c5 3. d5 d6 4. Nc3 g6 5. e4 Bg7
6. Bd3 O-O 7. Nge2 Na6 8. a3 Bd7 9. Bd2 Nc7 10. O-O a6
11. Qc1 b5 12. b3 Ng4 13. h3 Ne5 14. Bc2 bxc4 15. Bh6 cxb3
16. Bxg7 Kxg7 17. Bxb3 Rb8 18. Rb1 Nb5 19. Qd2 Bxh3 20. f4 Nxc3
21. Qxc3 Bg4 22. Ng3 f6 23. fxe5 fxe5 24. Rxf8 Qxf8 25. Rf1 Qd8
26. Bc4 Qb6 27. Qe3 Rb7 28. Qg5 Bc8 29. Nh5+ Kh8 30. Rf8#
i’m walking around in my bathrobe, and i see dan hiesman. i ask him for an interview, and he agrees. cool, i interview him. (i’ll post it tomorrow).
ROUND 6 i am ready to play really well. i don’t. fate was getting me back, my opponent showed up with 10 minutes left on the clock. i knew it was gonna happen so i didn’t relax and expect a point, but i think i was still shaken up a bit. waiting for your opponent was stressful. i stress when i play, i stress when i don’t play. what the fuck is wrong with me? i should have lost, i sucked like a vampire in a black hole.
so we are playing, it’s kind of even, but she is a bit better off i think, she has initiative and a nice attack, she is all up in my grill. i made a move that, after making it, i saw it was over for me, the lady just had to take my bishop and i would have resigned. my hand was reaching out to lay my king down for his dirt nap, but she instead didn’t take the bishop and played another move. damn, an unwelcome respite. i had to see where this was going, we jockeyed around a bit, and then SHE was the one who blundered, and i ended up winning. i actually snatched victory from the esophagus (way past the jaws) of defeat. holy shit. i was one move away from resigning, and i win. i was fucked up, bigger than jupiter, and i win. i’ll take it, i aint proud.
ROUND 7. i just DO NOT want to play. i truly didn’t, i wanted to not be there. i sat down, set up the board and clock, and my opponent arrived: the most annoying kid in the world. first off, he wanted to use his clock, cause “he can read it better.” yeah, ok. then he wanted to use his board, cause the squares on my board were too small. yeah, ok. then, i ask him to spell his name and he can’t, it takes him four tries. and then, in the middle of the game (and i saw him do this to everyone he played), he wouldsay “adjust, adjust, adjust, adjust” and touch EVERY PIECE ON THE BOARD. ok, so the kid isn’t even 12 and he is already obsessive compulsive. i’m sure he’ll go on to be a grandmaster. unless someone knifes him over the board someday. maybe i should have taken the attitude of “you are pissing me off, so i will destroy you and make you cry” but i’m not like that. i’m more passive aggressive. if i hate you, i’ll lose and move on, it’s just not worth my time.
by move 5 i decide to commit suicide and made the shittiest moves possible, not even looking at the board. this made him happy, he felt he was playing really well (and he was, i can’t take that away from him, he played well). i eventually got bored waiting for him to mate me so i resigned. it wasn’t the kid’s fault, it was me. i just didn’t want to play, i was burned out or something. it was karmic payback for winning the last round. i don’t even feel bad about losing this game.
i found out the next day that, while i only had 4 points, i was actually close enough to be in the top 20 and had i not thrown/lost the game, i would have possibly won some cash. if i had known that, i wonder if i would have played more seriously? perhaps i now feel a bit bad about losing that last game.
so last day i figure i will try to win the last two rounds and end up with a good score.
ROUND 8. i am ready to play well, it is a good game, we fight it out to the end, a tough fight, i really really try hard, i try to calculate moves, i get an edge, and i win.
ROUND 9. ok, the last round, i’ve got god on my side, i’m gonna win. it was a weird blitz kinda round, this old guy attacked and kicked my ass. i think he hustled me, i feel hustled. actually, i fucked up my opening and punished me for it, he just got me good, it was a good game and i enjoyed playing it, he deserved to win and he was a nice guy about it. we both had 5 points and at the end of the day, he finishes with 6 points. he deserved them.
so the tournament was over, i’m walking around, watching the games and such, and i that is when i see the dreamy Elizabeth Vicary and she graciously grants me an interview, which, as i said, i’ll post wednesday.
overall, i had a great time, and i will most likely go back next year if i can. if you can go to the world open in philadelphia, but your not sure if you should…you should definitely go. tons of fun, lots of GMS, and you can learn an assload of chess just watching the money change hands in the skittles room. it’s the whole chess subculture in one building. yeah, i’m going back next year.
this will be my last tournament for the year, i’m a bit burnt out. i’m taking one week off of chess, no chess at all (which is gonna be hard, i wanna log onto ICC right now, i wanna look at some games, but no, i must not). after a one week enforced break, i will study super hard, super serious. for the next 6 months i am going to study like a fucking fiend. next year, i will play only U1400 sections. and i plan on winning.
tomorrow is the dan hiesamn interview.
and just so everyone knows, the tour de france began on saturday, the 5th. america now has 2 teams in it, and even if they didn’t, i’ll still watch every stage. vive le tour.
rock on…..
off to philly
this morning i fly to Philadelphia for the 32nd world open at the sheraton city center hotel, 17th and race street.
i’m pretty damn excited.
be back in a week with pics and a tournament report.
