hardcore pawnography

so i managed to lose my way down to about 895 in an orgiastic binge of shitty chess playing, then won a few games and i am now about 1065 or so.

today, i got online for a quick blitz fix, and played this game here, where i was black, against a guy who, after the game, said “nice computer play, thanks for the training.” he thinks i used a computer. i take it as a compliment. he didnt’ realize he played wrong, and i took advantage of his mistakes.

if you have ribkya or fritz or whatever and know how to do it, please run this through and tell me how close i am to playing like a computer. i’d like to know.

here is the game, i’m black.

[Event "ICC"]
[Site "Internet Chess Club"]
[Date "2009.01.31"]
[White "magic1014"]
[Black "chainsmoke"]
[Result "0-1"]
[WhiteElo "1218"]
[BlackElo "1017"]
[TimeControl "120+12"]

1. e4 c5 2. d4 cxd4 3. Qxd4 Nf6 4. f3 Nc6 5. Qd1 e6
6. Bd3 Bb4+ 7. c3 Bc5 8. Ne2 O-O 9. b4 Bb6 10. a4 a5
11. b5 Ne5 12. Nd4 Nxd3+ 13. Qxd3 e5 14. Ne2 d5 15. Be3 dxe4
16. Qxd8 Bxd8 17. fxe4 Nxe4 18. O-O f5 19. g3 f4 20. gxf4 Bh3
21. Rf3 Bg4 22. Rf1 Bxe2 23. Re1 Bf3 24. fxe5 Bh4 25. Rc1 Ng5
26. Bxg5 Bxg5 27. Rf1 Be3+ 28. Rf2 Bd5 29. Ra2 Bxa2
0-1

if you trade queens on move 6 of a game for no real reason, you are a fagtarded pussy. why are you even playing the fucking game? go collect stamps or get into the wide world of competitive quilting. seriously, why waste everyone’s time just because you are scared to play?

so here is my dilemma with the ICC. i suck and i get bored easily so i lose a lot cause as i’m waiting for the other guy to move i surf the internet, look back at the game, move, and surf the internet. the other guy is thinking, i’m just reacting. so i lose. a lot.

then occasionally i get interested and i win. i will beat a 1600 or an 1800 and lose to an 1100. my rating goes from the 900’s up to the 1300s at any given time. im now in theh low 1100s.

so far, in the last week, i’ve been accused of using a computer, because i beat a 1300 when i was 1000. some 1800 named ROSS, who i’ve played and lost to, said i am not an 1100 when i beat him. i dont know if it was a compliment, i dont think so. today i challenged some guy, he declined and said he doesn’t play sandbaggers.

so somehow, there is word going around that i am a sand bagger, a cheater, or whatever. if you play on ICC and you are reading this, let me state this clearly: I, chessloser, playing with the ICC handle of chainsmoke, am not a cheater, sandbagger, or whatever. i suck, and occasionally, i pull a good game out of my ass.

damn people, its a fucking game to pass the time, and your ICC rating doesn’t mean anything to anyone. get over it and lets play some chess.

i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, i don’t mean to be blogging, but there is crap i wanna say, about chess, and no one would really understand it but the chess community, so i’m typing it here.

here is one small problem i have with ICC. it’s not really a problem, i just don’t understand the reasoning.

i play a 1400 in a 10 minute game. Ten minutes is a pretty decent amount of time to think, especially for your first few moves. he fucks up on move three, i pounce, he offers a draw, abort, draw, adjourn, abort, finally by move 12 when he is a bishop and knight down, he resigns. and i get a message saying “it was humptyfruntz’s 1st blitz game,” so i dont get any points, no rating adjustment for me. but if i lost i would lose points quicker than a porn star losing clothes in a movie.

why is this?

and this isnt’ the first time it’s happened. not like i give a fuck about “ratings” online (or in real life for that matter), but, if i beat someone, shouldn’t my shit go up a point or two? even if its their first blitz game?

i don’t get it, i dont understand the reasoning behind that.

it pisses me off, but its not enough to keep me from wasting many hours of every day playing blitz on ICC though.