hardcore pawnography

today is ash wednesday, for us roamin’ catholics, the first day of lent, or as i call it, christian ramadan, a time of fasting and preparation and all that to get you focused, in the right mindset, back on track.

i will also do that with chess.  sort of.   more on that later.

yesterday, after i got fed  up with chess and didn’t want to play it for a while, wanted nothing to do with it for a bit, i of course did the most logical thing: i went to chess club.  i had a great time.

i really like the chess club (i wonder if i can call it “my chess club” as i don’t’ go every week, and i feel more like a visitor then a regular) because it is exactly how i imagined a chess club.  a good mix of beginners and “old pros,” everyone is friendly and helpful,   the chess playing is serious, but the attitude is care free and jocular.  we talk as we play, about whatever, joking, kibitzing, talking about the game as we play it.  it’s like a chess party.  i played 4 games, won two, lost two, and after the games, we went over them a bit, discussed moves, etc.  really a great time.

ok, so the buddhists have  this idea of “every time is the first time/you begin anew each time” or something like that. (i apologize to any buddhists, i am a bit sketchy on it, i vaguely remember the concept from reading “dancing wu li masters” by gary zarkov). each chapter is chapter 1.  always a fresh look at something, always an untainted, unbiased approach to whatever you are engaged in.

i remember back when i started, how i knew a lot less, yet i appeared to be “better” if only because of my false sense of knowledge.  i would approach each game with “i’m gonna kick this guy’s ass” and sometimes, i did.  now that i think, i sometimes think too much, as if learning has put my mind in a structured box, and i expect to lose because the other guy “knows more” based off his rating or his years of chess.  i lose before i begin, based off preconceived notions.

and this is how i’m gonna approach the chess.  i will approach it as if it’s my first time at chess, not with the ignorance of a first timer, but the enthusiasm, the “blank slate mind” without any preconceived notions,  like a clean air filter ready to pick up each particle of dusty chess knowledge.  maybe last night re-energized me, maybe i just needed a few hours break instead of a day or a week, but i’m excited.  i have a tournament coming up end of the month, and i need to be ready for it.

most people think lent is only about giving something up.  it’s also about doing something, either praying more, donating more time, volunteering more, being more understanding of others and more forgiving, etc.  all in the effort to become a “better person.”  i shall also take this time to become a better chessplayer as well.

when the student is ready, the master appears….

that is an old buddhist proverb.   i was thinking about the last post, thinking about the times in my life when i could have studied chess and didn’t.  there were many times in my life when i had nothing but time and nothing to fill it with.  sitting here now, i think “damn, i could have used that time to study chess, and if i did, i would be a really strong player now!”

but i don’t think i was ready then, or i would have sat down and learned chess.  sometimes i feel like i wasted my life pursuing other things that don’t matter, but they only don’t matter now.  back then, they did matter, and chess didn’t matter to me at all.    if karpov lived next to me and said “hey, you wanna learn to play chess?” i would have probably said “thanks, but not really.”   now i will talk to anyone who knows the littlest bit in hopes of learning some little thing (i still think about how the pawn affects the files next to it, thanks to a comment on one of my posts).

there was a question in the forum over at chess.com, some 21 year old kid asked if he was “too old.”  i had to laugh, he is so worried that at 21 he is too old.  damn, at 21, if you study and play for 10 years, which seems like an eternity, you could be quite formidable and still only 31, which is young.  these young-uns, they don’t realize the potential for excellence they have.  makes me wonder if in some cases, the student is not ready yet.

i’ve been studying morphy, alekhine, the old guys.   i think they had it easier, even though they didn’t’ have chessbase, fritz,  chessmaster, ct-art, and the entire everyman chess and gambit library on their shelves.    back then, i don’t’ think most people were as serious.  they could make “mistakes” and try “crazy” new things out and get away with things an 1100 rated player would catch and destroy on.  i wonder how a morphy would fare against a blunderprone? i bet there would be more draws than morphy had ever seen.

how awesome would i be right now if i started chess 20 years ago?  i bet lots of players think back to a time when they were not playing, and think “damn, why didn’t i start playing then?”  no sense wasting time about that, there is the future to look forward to.  perhaps, if i study seriously now that i am ready to, when i am 50, i will be a kick ass 1900 rated player.

i have that to look forward to….

so many good books about chess, most people have read them and know them. so i will do a book review that has nothing to do with chess, but if you twist stuff around, you can make it about chess..

the book is Sit down and Shut up by brad warner. the guy who wrote “hardcore zen.” here is the thing about this book and this guy.

while living in japan, i read about hardcore zen, bought the book, and it changed my life. it’s about the power of sitting in front of a blank wall thinking nothing. i did some reasearch and found out the guy who wrote it was another american living in japan, and i met him and he was the real deal. cool guy.

well, he wrote another book, and i just bought it. it goes a bit more in depth into buddhism and the power of sitting zazen (meditating). i am a catholic, devout, follow all the stuff. but i am a buddhist sympathizer. while i don’t agree with everything in the book, as it conflicts with my belief (i believe in a soul and an afterlife), the things in this book can make me a better person, better catholic, and perhaps a better chess player.

one of the ideas in the book is : you are resonsible for everything that happens to you, no matter how seemingly random they may seem. same in chess. the crappy ass position i find myself in is not just my opponenent’s will and doing, it is mine as well. if i suck and lose, it is as much my fault as his victory. perhaps it seems obvious but there is a deeper meaning there (at least to me).

another idea (which i am loosly interpreting and butchering) is the idea of the future. we waste energy worrying about the future, what will happen, when now is the only reality. i could worry that my opponent might fork me and i end up in a bad position, but the position on the board right now is the only reality, the only truth. yes, we plan for the future, yes we plan contingencies for what our opponent might do, but the position on the board is what i must concentrate on and react to, not phantom positions that may occur and may not. for all we know, our opponent might have a destroying move available, and before he plays it, he has a coughing fit and runs off to the bathroom, where he slips and conks his head, knocks himself out, and loses on time. we just don’t know. why waste time worrying about what could happen when the now is what is most important?

there are other things i could warp to fit into a chess analogy, but even without chess relevance, it’s a great book. even if you don’t believe in anything, the book has some great common sense points, and can affect your life for the better, if you are open to that sort of thing.

great book, well worth buying and reading once or twice.