hardcore pawnography

i don’t want to just learn where to move my pieces, i want to know why i’m putting them there. i’m hoping that playing through master games and all will show me where the pieces go, and i hope i will figure out why they go there.

that said,  once i know where the pieces go, and i know why, i want to learn how.   there is this wierd intangible aspect to chess which i don’t quite have down.  i don’t know what it is, perhaps a “feel for the terrain” or “board vision” but, i don’t quite have a sense of where things belong, why, and how to get them there.  and i don’t know how to learn that, other than years of trial and error, which can’t be totally correct.

i have  the book imagination in chess by Paata Gaprindashvili, it’s a kick ass book.  it’s all just positions taken from games.  it’s not a tactics book, there might be some tactic stuff here and there as part of a bigger plan, but it’s a book of “what move do you do next” type of problems.  here is the position, what’s the best move?

in this position, which i took from the book,

it is black to move.

ok, so you know you want to get the queen to b2, however Qe5 is kicked in the nuts by c4, you got nothing.  so what do you do?  how do you get from here to there?

the answer is 1…Qa5.  but why?  well, it attacks the rook, but more importantly, it weakens the king’s sanctuary by the forced 2. b4.  THEN he goes 2…Qe5 3. c4 Rb8 4. Qf4 Bg4 5. Qc6 Rxb4+ 6. Nb3 Rb8  7 Qa6 Ne4 8 Bxe4 Qxe4 9 Kc1  Qe1+ etc etc etc, black wins.

phew, what do i do with all that info? how do i look at that, and translate it into something i can use?  how can i apply that to my chess to make me a better chess player?  i don’t’ think i know.  but i’m hoping that learning this, thinking about it, trying to figure out what is really going on, will adjust my thinking and brain waves to chess thinking.  i want to have a chess mindset.

so i played a bunch of games yesterday, and i did better.  i don’t know why, maybe i played suckier people,  but they were all rated above me.   the last game i played, i don’t even think i was paying attention, i was on a kind of auto pilot, and i mated him, and it came as a shock to me, i didn’t know it would be mate.  i was just making moves that i wanted to make, i was a bit attacky, a general plan but no definite goals, i move where i think is best and i hear “checkmate” and that was that.  weird.

here is that game.

1. d4 d5 2. c4 e6 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. Bg5 Be7 5. e3 O-O
6. Bd3 b6 7. h4 h6 8. Bf4 dxc4 9. Bc2 Bb7 10. Nf3 Nbd7
11. g4 Nxg4 12. Rg1 Ngf6 13. Bxh6 Kh8 14. Bxg7+ Kg8 15. Bxf6#
1-0

was i “in the zone”?  did i just get lucky?  probably the latter, but for whatever reason, why can’t i play like that all the time?  sometimes i think that i think too much, and if i just played what felt “right” i might do a bit better.

but i still want to know what goes where and why.  and how.

yesterday was weird, like dreams of being dressed in sun-god robes and midgets throwing pickles at you kind of weird.  the way it usually works is, i get a good position, i am about to win, and then i lose.  yesterday, i was blundering like it was my job, and i won.  my first mistake was on move 6, i should have taken the bishop first, then the knight, but i took the knight first.  my second mistake was on move 9, i should have moved the knight back, but i moved the king and couldn’t castle.  then i hang a rook and lose it, and then i win.  it took the other guy by surprise, when it was over, instead of a “thx, gg,” he said “wow.”

here is the game, in case you wanna see it:

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 e6 3. Nc3 c5 4. d5 d6 5. Bg5 Be7
6. e4 Nxd5 7. exd5 Bxg5 8. Ne4 Qa5+ 9. Ke2 Be7 10. h4 O-O
11. Rh3 e5 12. Qd3 Bxh3 13. Nxh3 Nd7 14. Nhg5 Nf6 15. Nxf6+ Bxf6
16. Qxh7#
1-0

so now, i was thinking, if i could just get my queen to d3, a night on e4, and a knight on g5, i can win every game.

so i tried that a bit last night, it didn’t work at all.  but then, i played against an internet rated 1740 guy, and while i didn’t actually play correctly, having come home from work and had a glass or maybe two of wine, feeling fuzzy, trying just to get my queen on d3 and knights on the squares, i won.

i was white, he played the slav. on move 6 i played h4. he probably thought i was attacking, but i just wanted to get my knight to g5.  with my bishop on d3, he moved c4, and instead of taking the pawn, i left it and moved the bishop to e4, hoping his knight would take it and i would have my knight on e4, but nope.  i dont’ quite know what happened, but i saw a hole and went for it, and in 14 moves, he resigned.

here is the game:

1. d4 d5 2. c4 c6 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. e3 e6 5. Bd3 a6
6. h4 dxc4 7. Be4 Bb4 8. Nh3 Bxc3+ 9. bxc3 Nxe4 10. Ba3 Nd7
11. Qf3 Ndf6 12. Ng5 Qc7 13. Nxe4 Nd5 14. Nd6+
1-0

and, to round out my evening, i played some crazyhouse and won.  overall, it was a good day.  i know they were all flukes, i know they were cheap wins and i should have lost, but i didn’t.  yes, i made crappy mistakes, but the other guys made worse mistakes.  if i were a grandmaster, i would be ashamed, but i’m not. i’m a sucky chess player who wants to get better, and so, even though i played “bad chess” i somehow pulled a victory out of my ass, and weird as it was, i liked it.

perhaps wang has something in the “just be you” thing, if i just play sucky chessloser chess, i seem to play a bit better than when i try and think.  i have to learn to think better, but until then, i’ll sac and blunder and take my cheap victories when i can get them.

* paraphrasing the old bullwinkle cartoon, most of you probably won’t get it

i love sleight of hand magic, enough to have studied it and learned it and even performed it briefly. one of the things magician’s do is practice in front of a mirror, to see what angles need to be covered and see if their “secret” moves can be seen.

one of the problems many amateur magicians have is blinking during the crucial moment. yes, blinking. i’ve caught myself doing it. when you do “the move” you blink, so you don’t see it, so you think no one can see it. but they can and do and you look like an idiot. (more so then just wearing the tuxedo t-shirt and red converse sneakers and big top hat). you DESPERATELY WANT the trick to work, so you subconsciously cheat and make it work by blinking and not seeing that you fucked up and can be seen.

for me, analyzing games and such, i tend to have a similar problem. when i try to figure out what would be the best move, i am biased toward one side, i don’t see ALL the good moves the other side has. “oh yeah, if i take this pawn, he will take with his queen and i will take the queen! easy!” so i take the pawn, and he moves his knight to fork my king, queen, both bishops, both rooks, three pawns, and the super tasty sandwich i made and was saving to eat after the game (it was a mighty knight fork) so i end up losing.

why? cause i “blinked.” i played it out in my favor. i need to be more impartial, more objective, i need to SEE that the move i was thinking about is actually not a good one. i need to give my opponent more credit, he will see that my threat isn’t real, and he will counter my weak threat with a real one.

until i really learn to do that, i will continue to fuck up games and lose. but at least i know how to eat fire, so i got that going for me.

all that said, i won my last two games, and in the words of R.E.M., i’m feelin’ pretty psyched!  it was against a guy who i’ve played a bunch of times before, and usually i just lose.  he is internet rated higher than me (which i assume means he is better than me) and i beat him two times in a row.

first game i decided to play the ruy lopez, just to see what would happen.  i won, that’s what happened.  and it was a nice finish, i was happy with it.
second game, against the same guy,  i don’t know why i won, i really don’t.  i’ve gone over the game (not with fritz, i should use the damn fritz) but i can’t see why i won.

here are both games, in case anyone wants to see em….

game1 - i’m black     1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bb5 Nf6 4. O-O Bc5 5. Re1 O-O
6. Bxc6 bxc6 7. Nxe5 d5 8. exd5 Qxd5 9. Nc3 Qd4 10. Nd3 Ng4
11. Nxc5 Qxf2+ 12. Kh1 Qxc5 13. Qxg4 Bxg4 14. Ne4 Rae8 15. d3 Qxc2
16. Bf4 f5 17. Rec1 Qxb2 18. Nc5 Re2 19. Nd7 Rd8 20. Ne5 Rxg2
21. Nxg4 Rxg4 22. Bxc7 Qg2#

game 2 - i’m white   1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. c4 dxc4 4. e4 Bg4 5. Be2 e6
6. O-O Bxf3 7. Bxf3 Qxd4 8. Nd2 Rd8 9. e5 Nxe5 10. Bxb7 Bb4
11. Qa4+ Qd7 12. Qxb4 Rb8 13. Rd1 c6 14. Qc3 Rxb7 15. Qxe5 Nf6
16. b3 cxb3 17. Ba3 bxa2 18. Nc4 Qc7 19. Nd6+ Ke7 20. Nxb7+ c5
21. Qxc7+

i actually won a game i should have lost. i came back like jay leno and conan o’brien during the writer strike….

the guy was internet rated 1620, i fucked up huge on move 5 playing the sicilain as black.

move 6 looked like this:

so do i block with g6 and lose a rook? fuck that. i could have fallen for that tactic, but instead, i figured i was lost anyway, lets see how long i can hold on. i moved my king to e7. his bishop came out to c4 (clergy using explosives!) ready for the mate, i block with the pawn not just to delay the imminent death, but also to unleash the hellfury that is my own damn bishop. he takes with his bishop and i block with my bishop on e6, allowing him to take the e pawn. ok, i move the queen up to d7 and prevent the mate, holy shit, i think i just might have a chance.

at this point of the game, it’s like being in an earthquake with a tornado and a pack of rabid dogs with razorblades on their tails circling you, and the earth stops trembling, the tornado goes in another direction, and the dogs are distracted by a moving car, which they all chase. the imminent death has passed…for now…but i’m shaken and don’t’ think i’m gonna see tomorrow.

i move the knight to c6, attacking the queen, thinking i’ll at least trade bishops, but he moves the queen and i end up trading the bishops off anyway, thinking this gives him that much less firepower to use against me. a battle of attrition!

i take the pawn and offer a queen trade, thinking while he is a pawn up, i’m slightly more developed, and i can lose later during the endgame. he declines the queen trade offer, and i turn into a monster, like the wolfman during a full moon, or a woman when she is “surfing the red tide. “

i attack with my queen using a series of checks, which allow him to develop his pieces, but i wanted to maneuver my queen out of the way so he couldn’t pin my queen with his rook and take her. on move 18 i move my king out of the way to unpin my knight, i wanna use him in a check and generate some action. he threatens my queen with his rook, i see this, no surprise, but first, the check with the knight. this is where he fucked up. it is now white’s move.

it’s a tactical bit that i am proud of. i exploit a pin on his knight with a check. instead of him moving to e2, where i wouldn’t be able to do anything cool, he steps between his rooks, allowing me to take the rook threatening my queen with a check to boot.

i re-pin the knight instead of getting greedy and taking the other rook. he puts me in a check, but fuck him and the horse he rode in on, we trade knights, and then, like a crack fiend who cant’ get enough, i trade the other set of knights. i’m gonna lose, but dammit, i’m taking as much with me as i can.

his queen comes to the middle of the board with a check, i thought about it, and moved my king behind the bishop, where he would be safest. for some reason, he made a weird pawn move that served no purpose i could see, and i saw another tactic where i would win the bishop. my rook slides on over like a playa in da club slidin on over to the chicks, attacking his woman, who moves out the way with a check. i block with the smooth stylin rook and he is pinned, and attacked with a pawn. again, mate looms over my head.

first i take his bishop with check, then another check or two and i take the offending pawn. i could have king hunted, maybe mated, but i was afraid i would fuck it all up, and i thought about hiesman’s thing where, if you are winning, play defensively. i wasn’t winning, but i thought i had a winning chance, so i took the pawn and saved my rook for later.

my other rook slides over, and after a few checks, i fork his king and queen with my rook and he resigns.

damn, that was a great game, i think. the power shifted back and forth, i thought shit out, i didn’t give up as i usually would, and i won. i fucking won.

it’s a really nice game, i’m sure he fucked up somewhere, but i can’t see exactly where.

here is the game, if anyone wants to point out how i got lucky, please let me know.  i think i won because he expected me to quit and i just was wouldn’t.

1. e4 c5 2. d4 cxd4 3. c3 e5 4. cxd4 f6 5. dxe5 fxe5
6. Qh5+ Ke7 7. Bc4 d5 8. Bxd5 Be6 9. Qxe5 Qd7 10. f4 Nc6
11. Qg5+ Nf6 12. Nf3 Bxd5 13. exd5 Qxd5 14. Qh4 Qe4+ 15. Kf2 Qc2+
16. Bd2 Qc5+ 17. Be3 Qc2+ 18. Nbd2 Kd7 19. Rac1 Ne4+ 20. Ke1 Qxc1+
21. Ke2 Qc2 22. Ne5+ Nxe5 23. fxe5 Nxd2 24. Bxd2 Be7 25. Qd4+ Ke8
26. b3 Rd8 27. Qa4+ Rd7 28. e6 Qxd2+ 29. Kf3 Rf8+ 30. Kg3 Qe3+
31. Kg4 Qxe6+ 32. Kg3 Bd6+ 33. Kh4
0-1

*NOTE: going through my spam filter, i found blue devil knight’s comments on the “chess should be easy” post.  they are worth reading, they should be their own post, go read them now*

no, this is not an excerpt from my new upcoming book: chessloser’s most erotic chess games of all time but two games i played recently both ending with a backrank mate.

it’s weird how things happen in groups. celebrities die in three’s, natural disasters happen in groups, planes crash in groups. is it because when something happens, our attention is brought to it, and suddenly we pay attention to that thing and we see it? like when you buy a car, suddenly you see all the people who have that car. did they all go out an buy it the same week you did, or do you now just notice them cause you have that car?

so in the course of 2 days, i won 2 games with a back rank mate. was it back rank mate week? i don’t’ know why it happened, but i had a good time doing it.

first game was pretty awesome, i’m black playing a sicilian against a 1486. i set up for a pin variation, he doesn’t follow, instead he pushes to e5, so i move the knight to g4 to threaten the weak little pawn. he supports it with d4, i remove that support with the little guy on c5, he takes with his pawn on c3, so i attack that damn little pawn with f6. YEAH! he takes f6 and i take with my knight, just like i wanted to.

at move 11 his knight is outposted on e5 and he moves his queen to h5 check! oh no, looks bad for the home team, whadda my gonna do?!?!?! i’ll tell you what, i’m gonna create a diversion. first i move g6, knowing his knight will take and set up for the big discovered check. this happens.

but i will decide when to die, and now is not the time. with nerves of steel and balls the size of coconuts, i move my bishop to b4 check. he blocks with his bishop, and my bishop walks right up to his, kicks him in the nuts, and takes him out with check. his knight takes, and now, what the fuck am i gonna do? i’m gonna trade me some queens with queen to g5. he has to take with his queen, and i take with my knight, and now we are equal and the air has been let out of his attack balloon, leaving him with a handful of flaccid rubber.
he fucked up and moved his knight to e5 when he should have taken my rook. ok, i’ll take that. it’s my game now. my knight comes to d6 to threaten his knight, he puts his little pawn to f4 to threaten mine. i move my knight out of the way to e4 and we trade our knights on e4. he castles long, but i got the blood lust now, i want to kill all the pieces, i trade our knights on e5. there is now a cool pawn knot going on in the center of the board. my bishop comes to d7 to make way for my castle, he moves his rook to e1 to threaten my e4 pawn. i check him with rook to c8, he moves his king one step closer to his own grave on b1. my bishop on c6 to protect the pawn, his comes out to play on c4 to attack my e e6 pawn. my bishop steps in the way, ready for the homicide/suicide thing. he sidesteps with a check, but no matter, its hardly a threat. my king saunters out of the way to e7 where 1: he can’t be checked by the bishop; 2: he protects my e6 pawn; and 3: the rooks lines of communication are established. he brings his rook to f1, i bring mine to f8. you wanna get nuts? let’s get nuts! his other rook comes to c1, and now both our rooks are in a mexican standoff. i figure, since he moved his rook to c1, he must want that file, but i want it to keep the king from coming out, so i take his f1 rook and he has to take back. sweet! i bump his bishop out of the way with some pawn moves, then i am ready to trade off so i advance my pawn towards mexico for the sex change from young man to queen with e3. he threatens it with his rook on e1. bad move sucker. i check with the bishop on e4 and his king must hide in the corner, like the next blair witch victim. all i have to do is get him to take my pawn, so i dangle it, like candy, moving it to e2, only one step away from being a queen. he spends almost 10 seconds thinking about it, then takes it. my rook rides the slip n slide to victory with Rc1 MATE BITCH!

if you want to follow along, game is here:
1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. c3 Nf6 4. e5 Ng4 5. d4 cxd4
6. cxd4 f6 7. exf6 Nxf6 8. Ne5 d6 9. Nc4 d5 10. Ne5 Ne4
11. Qh5+ g6 12. Nxg6 Bb4+ 13. Bd2 Bxd2+ 14. Nxd2 Qg5 15. Qxg5 Nxg5
16. Ne5 Nc6 17. f4 Ne4 18. Nxe4 dxe4 19. O-O-O Nxe5 20. fxe5 Bd7
21. Re1 Rc8+ 22. Kb1 Bc6 23. Bc4 Bd5 24. Bb5+ Ke7 25. Rhf1 Rhf8
26. Rc1 Rxf1 27. Rxf1 a6 28. Ba4 b5 29. Bb3 e3 30. Re1 Be4+
31. Ka1 e2 32. Rxe2 Rc1#
0-1

second game was pretty good, i’m black, playing what ICC calls a Mieses opening (i’ll tear you mieses to pieces!), characterized by a lame ass 1.d3, to which i replied Nf6. second move is equally lame with c3 (it’s like a midget queen pawn’s opening) and i move c5. we do some dancing in the center, move some pieces around, and i set up for the back rank mate. on move 30 i get a nice pin and take his knight. i guess he thinks we will just trade queens, so he thinks about his move for a good 10 seconds, takes the queen, and bam, mate. go figure.

here is the game

1. d3 Nf6 2. c3 c5 3. e4 d5 4. e5 Ng4 5. Nf3 Nc6
6. Bf4 e6 7. Be2 d4 8. Nxd4 Ngxe5 9. Bxe5 Nxe5 10. Nxe6 fxe6
11. Qa4+ Bd7 12. Qe4 Nf7 13. Nd2 Bc6 14. Qc4 Bd5 15. Qb5+ Bc6
16. Qc4 Qe7 17. Nb3 Bxg2 18. Rg1 Bd5 19. Qb5+ Bc6 20. Qc4 O-O-O
21. O-O-O Ne5 22. Qf4 Qd6 23. Kb1 Be7 24. d4 Rhf8 25. Qd2 Be4+
26. Ka1 Nf3 27. Bxf3 Bxf3 28. Rxg7 Bxd1 29. Qxd1 Rxf2 30. Nxc5 Qxc5
31. dxc5 Rxd1#
0-1

people are strange, and i am the lizard king.

turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pie. that’s what. and what have i been doing, chessically?

i’ve been taking a keen, close look at the benko gambit and the modern benoni. i dig the benko, you get to throw away pawns early, like they are little one dollar bills in the way of the big bills in your big spender wallet.

huh? a pawn? what am i gonna do with that? here, you take it, get it out of my way.

thing is, it’s difficult to get someone to open with 1.d4 to try shit out. so far, i’ve only had one chance to play the benko, and it worked. the game went something like this:

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 c5 3. d5 b5 4. b3 g6 5. Nc3 Bg7
6. Bd2 b4 7. Na4 Ne4 8. Rc1 Nc3 9. Qc2 Qa5 10. e3 d6
11. Ne2 O-O 12. Naxc3 bxc3 13. Nxc3 Bf5 14. Bd3 Bxd3 15. Qxd3 Bxc3
16. Bxc3 Qxa2 17. O-O Nd7 18. e4 Ne5 19. Qe3 Rab8 20. f4 Ng4
21. Qh3 h5 22. f5 Rxb3 23. fxg6 fxg6 24. Rxf8+ Kxf8 25. Qf3+ Ke8
26. Rf1 Kd7 27. h3 Ne5 28. Qg3 Qc2
0-1

on move 4, he went b3, i didn’t know what to do, so i fianchettoed. mostly cause i like to use the word “fianchetto” in a sentence. it makes me sound all european and smart. so, i move all my pieces up to the queenside, everything is aimed there, it’s a big cold war on the queen’s front, and i have an itchy trigger finger. there is more tension than a palestinian band playing at a bar mitzvah, time for me to start simplifying. he takes my knight on c3, i choose to take with the pawn, to open it up a bit. he takes with his knight, i threaten the queen with my bishop, he blocks, as if i’m gonna run away? you don’t know who you are messin with buddy! i trade the bishops. fuck em. then i give him my bishop for his knight, and on move 16 my queen eats his a2 pawn. things are about equal, i’m less developed, but not hurting. i get my knight to e5 to block his bishop and threaten the queen. we maneuver around, i get a nice pin on his bishop, i open up the f file and we trade rooks. i move my knight back to e5 to again block his bishop, he sets up for a mate, my king hides behind a pawn chain, pretty damn safe. he is about to lose a bishop so he resigned.

now, i don’t know how it would have turned out, i may have eventually lost, but, i scared him enough to think he would lose and resign. i think i played ok. i’m happy.

i know at my level i shouldn’t be worrying too much about openings, but i like to study them because, not only do they give me a decent chance at a middle game, i learn a lot of positional things, the actual power of the pawns, etc, from them. i love www.chesgames.com, i can see how an opening is played by 800 different people, and i like to look for the one weird move that no one is expecting that throws everyone off.

the other reason i like to study these lines is i play 1.d4, and i want to know what would work best against me.

actually, i’m kinda surprised more people don’t play 1.d4. that means i still have to work on my sicilian. i will leave with one really cool game i had with the sicillian against a guy rated 1400.

on move 15 i had a nice little tactical sacrifice, he thought he was gonna hurt me, get my rook or my queen, well fuck him, *I* will choose who lives and who dies. we trade a bishop for a knight, way more even, bitch. then, i trade another knight for a bishop, and it’s queens and rooks. my king isn’t the safest, but it’s safer than his. on move 21 i push my pawn to expose his king just a bit more, and on move 26, i get him to trade rooks. smell that? that’s tactics, kids. on move 30 i threaten to take his queen, he sees this and moves his king out of the way, allowing me to finish the game with a zorro-like flourish that leaves me a rook up. seriously, watch the last three moves, my queen does a “Z” to take his rook, and the guy resigns. it’s a really cool ending.
1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Nd2 Qb6
6. c3 d5 7. Bb5+ Bd7 8. Bxd7+ Nbxd7 9. O-O Nxe4 10. Nxe4 dxe4
11. Re1 f5 12. Qa4 Bc5 13. Be3 O-O-O 14. b4 Bd6 15. Nxe6 Bxh2+
16. Kxh2 Qxe6 17. Rad1 Qe5+ 18. g3 Nf6 19. Rc1 Ng4+ 20. Kg2 Nxe3+
21. Rxe3 f4 22. gxf4 Qxf4 23. b5 Qg4+ 24. Rg3 Qf5 25. Qc4+ Kb8
26. Rxg7 Qf3+ 27. Kg1 Rd1+ 28. Rxd1 Qxd1+ 29. Qf1 Qf3 30. c4 Rd8
31. Kh2 Qh5+ 32. Kg3 Qe5+ 33. f4 Qxg7+
0-1

i wish i could play like that all the damn time.

i don’t think it’s any surprise to anyone that i suck.   i’ll be playing in a tournament in less than a week, i have nothing really ready for black or white.  i am still sucking at the damn sicilian, no matter what i do.

oh, quick aside…

lev alburtson is full of shit, man.  that book of his that i said was really good, “chess openings for black explained” is more wrong than two boys fucking in church.  i followed the line in the book as described, however, the low rated guy i was playing didnt’ make the same dumb ass moves the book expected him to make.  so there is that.

anyway, out of every 32 games i lose, i win one.  i swear sometimes its like i’ve never played before.

but occasionally, when the planets align, i get hot flashes of brilliance.    these next two games show that.

check them out.  they aren’t great by any means, however, in both games, i manage to sac my way to victory in the last 5 moves or so.  i’m actually proud of these endings.

in this game, it’s the last 5 moves.  in the next game, its the last 6 or so moves.  check them out.  just check out the last 6 moves of each game.  i think they are so damn cool.

1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 Bf5 3. c4 c6 4. Nc3 e6 5. Bf4 Bd6
6. Ne5 Ne7 7. e3 O-O 8. Bd3 Bxd3 9. Qxd3 f6 10. Ng4 Bxf4
11. exf4 Ng6 12. O-O-O Nxf4 13. Qg3 Ng6 14. h4 f5 15. Nh6+ Kh8
16. h5 Ne7 17. Ne2 Rf6 18. Nxf5 Nxf5 19. Qg4 Qf8 20. Nf4 Nxd4
21. Ng6+ hxg6 22. hxg6+ Kg8 23. Rh8+ Kxh8 24. Qh5+ Kg8 25. Qh7#
1-0

1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 e6 3. c4 Nf6 4. Nc3 Be7 5. Bg5 O-O
6. e3 Nfd7 7. Bxe7 Qxe7 8. Bd3 f5 9. h4 Nf6 10. cxd5 Nxd5
11. Ne5 Nd7 12. O-O Nxe5 13. dxe5 Nxc3 14. bxc3 Bd7 15. f4 Bc6
16. h5 Qh4 17. e4 fxe4 18. Bc4 Rae8 19. f5 Qg3 20. fxe6 Re7
21. Rxf8+ Kxf8 22. Qd8+ Be8 23. Rf1+ Kg8 24. Qxe8+ Rxe8 25. e7+ Kh8
26. Rf8+
1-0

these games right here are part of the reason i play the damn chess game.  i wish i could play so well all the time, or at least more than half the time, or, for right now, half the time.

i’m still concerned about my upcoming tournament.    i really need to get something down before then, although i think it’s a bit late for anything new.

the best part of that last post was all the comments.  really, the comments were the post, that rocked!  community blogging, kick ass….
i haven’t been too bloggy lately. flu and crap has been going around here, i’ve been fighting something off, then there is work (i don’t get it, i have a part time job and i managed to work 82 hours in two weeks. what would a full time job be?) then i’ve been going at blitz chess like a wino at a free wine tasting. i’ve been losing a lot, if they were rated games, my rating would look like the dow.

but sometimes a light shines in a storm. i got two wins. and i’m happy about them. both with me playing the french as black against 1d4.

here are the games:

1. d4 e6 2. c4 Bb4+ 3. Nc3 Bxc3+ 4. bxc3 f5 (good, everything according to plan so far)5. Nf3 Nf6 . Bg5 O-O 7. e3 b6 8. Bd3 Bb7 (yes! the h1-a8 is my autobahn) 9. O-O (and now he puts his king where i can kill him. thanks pal!) h6 (to kick the mall cop of a bishop out of the way) 10. Bxf6 Rxf6 11. Qc2 Rg6 and this is the position. i had the game won here, however, i didnt’ see it until one move later, which caused me a bit more work, but ultimately no big deal.

it looked like this

do you see it? see white’s impending death?  i should have just saced the rook then and there and won, but i didn’t see it yet.  so i played on. 12. e4 d6 13. exf5 exf5 14. Bxf5 (Now i see it, so i play it) Rxg2+ 15. Kxg2 Qg5+16. Kh3  i know i have to take the knight, and i know he will give me a check, but not to worry) Bxf3 17. Bh7+ Kh8 18. Qg6 (nice, however, my bishop can give mate as well, bitch) Bg2#
0-1

flush with victory, i kept playing, and against a different guy, i had this game.  a bit different, but i was still all over him like a busload of senior citizens at a 2 for 1 all you can eat buffet.   violent, decisive chess.

1. d4 e6 2. e4 Bb4+ 3. c3 Bd6 4. Nf3 f5 5. e5 Be7
6. Be2 d6 7. exd6 Bxd6 8. O-O Nf6 9. Bg5 O-O 10. Bc4 h6
11. Be3 Ne4 12. Qb3 Rf6 13. Ne5 Bxe5 14. dxe5 Rg6 15. f3 Ng5
16. h4 Nh3+ 17. Kh2 Qxh4 18. Bf2 Qh5 19. Bg3 Nf4+ 20. Kg1 Rxg3
21. Nd2 Rxg2#
0-1

same principles, it worked, i’m happy.  i hope i play against guys this bad at the next tournament in two weeks.

they were small victories, but i’ll take them.  i can go to bed happy.

yesterday, proust would have been proud. i was gonna do all those things, had a big agenda lined up. i didn’t do anything. i laid around all day. i’m turning into my cat. i go from room to room, sleeping and laying on everything. i got out of bed, went to the couch, and slept. i did study a few games from the keres book though. i felt guilty about laying around, so i made madelines

today at work, i think the spaceship landed outside the mall and they all came into our store. we had some wierd folks today, musta been the full moon. after a day of this, i came home to play some relaxing chess.

yeah. relaxing.

playing on ICC, i’m playing an unrated game, my mouse slips, i ask for a takeback. it was obvious my mouse slipped, he moved a pawn to my knight and i didn’t move the knight, i moved a pawn. the fag declined, and later during the game said “i don’t give takebacks, especially during unrated games. it slows the game down.” yeah, cause a 5 minute game takes so much time, and a takeback just adds what, another few hours onto that? fucktard. it wasn’t rated, so no big deal, but, cmon…

anyway, thanks to keres, i now answer 1d4 with 1….e6. it’s pretty cool. i did it in the next game i played.

guy is internet rated 1500 or so, i’m a lowly 1100.  he starts with the standard 1d4 2 c4, perhaps expecting a gruenfeld or nizmo indian (i still heart the nimzo indian) but i answer with 1…e6 and on 2…i check him with the bishop at b4.  he blocks with his, and we trade. i’m feeling feisty and slightly pissed at the no talent assclown who wouldn’t let me take back an obvious mouse slip, so i am out for blood. not any blood, but pure, fresh, chess blood.   i go into HARDCORE mode.

he retakes with the queen, so i bring my knight to f6, developing and threatening the queen. he will have to either move his queen, i gain temp, or bring out his knight, which is what he does. this is kinda cool, i am directing the game, forcing him to respond to MY moves. that’s right, bitch, *I’M* the master and you’re the slave, you dance to my tune.

i castle and we lock up the middle in a wierd, psuedo, reverse french kinda way. he brings his bishop to d3, but with the pawn gridlocked and stuck on e4 like a hummer in manhattan, his bishop aint going anywhere, so it’s no threat yet. i move the knight to g4 to give me some room, he attacks with h3, so i move the knight back. we both bring out other knights out, and then on teh 11th move, he moves b4. i don’t see the reason for this, to me it’s a wasted move. i move the knight to h5, on it’s way to f4, and he moves g4. clearly he has not read my system by nimzo, bitch!, he just weakened his castle for no reason. we move some pieces around, i kinda miss a cool tactic that would result in a nice knight trade, but i set up a pretty cool tactic on moves 25 -27 to win a queen. he is smart, he doesn’t’ fall for it. on move 29 he advances his pawn to f6, threatening my queen, but this is good for me. i take the pawn, and i am in a nice position to get a pawn or more, so he resigns.

the game is here if you wanna play through it.

1. d4 e6 2. c4 Bb4+ 3. Bd2 Bxd2+ 4. Qxd2 Nf6 5. Nc3 O-O
6. e4 e5 7. d5 d6 8. Bd3 Ng4 9. h3 Nf6 10. Nge2 Nbd7
11. b4 Nh5 12. g4 Nf4 13. Nxf4 exf4 14. Qxf4 Ne5 15. Be2 f5
16. exf5 Qf6 17. Kd2 g5 18. Qg3 c6 19. Ne4 Qe7 20. f4 cxd5
21. cxd5 Nd7 22. Nxg5 Re8 23. Ne6 Nb6 24. Qb3 Bxe6 25. dxe6 d5
26. Bd3 Rad8 27. Rhe1 Nc4+ 28. Kd1 b5 29. f6 Qxf6
0-1
i liked this game. i think i threw him off with the first 2 moves. it wasn’t as violent or action packed as an arnold schwarzenegger movie (not counting twins or kindergarten cop) or burma right now, but it was fun to play.

i love the blitz chess. i suck like a chest wound at it, but i love it none the less. it’s perfect for my short attention span.

in a two hour game, or even in a 30 minute game, there is too much time to think. my thoughts during a long game go something like this:

if i move my bishop, he will have to move his knight. but where would he go? hmm, maybe i should leave the bishop and move a pawn? do i want the tension in this position or not, what did that book say? damn i hope i win this. so what if i lose though? i wonder what i’m gonna eat for dinner, perhaps chinese food. i wonder if they call it “chinese food” in china, or do they just call it food? i need to rent some jackie chan movies. that kid in 7th grade was a jerk, i wonder what he is doing now? oh crap i just wasted 10 minutes, i wonder what piece i should move? damn, i suck, i should just quit now. fuck it, i’ll move my rook.

there is just too much time to analyze, think, second guess myself. in blitz, its 98% gut reaction, 1% rote memory moves, 1% blind “i wonder if this will work?” moves. for me anyway.

the other thing i love about blitz is i can try out new things a few times in a short period of time. i can play a few 5 minute games and get a certain opening tweaked, get the moves into “muscle memory.” with a long game, i play one game, maybe two, i’m done, and whatever i did in the opening is long forgotten.

the only problem with blitz games is they can reinforce bad moves. and blitz doesn’t help you build up the stamina needed for long games of concentration. there are probably some other down sides to blitz, but it’s just so damn fun. in 30 minutes, i can play 5 games. that’s 5 games of experience. i don’t know about the quality of experience, but it’s4 games more than if i played a long game.

all that said, i really really should play longer games. but online, i have a tendency to surf the web waiting for the other guy to move, instead of looking at the board and analyzing. again with the short attention span.

at the suggestion of samurai pawn, here are some games of mine that i think i had a winning position and i lost. these are all losing games, so, which ever side loses, that is me. everyone reading is more than invited to point out where i went wrong. please do so, i’d like to know. you can copy and paste in your favorite PGN viewer.

in this game, i gave away my bishop on 24 by mistake, which was the obvious death knell, but i think i messed up before that.

1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 f6 3. c4 e6 4. Nc3 c6 5. c5 b5
6. e3 Qd7 7. Be2 g5 8. Nd2 Ne7 9. Bh5+ Ng6 10. h4 Be7
11. hxg5 fxg5 12. Bxg6+ Kd8 13. Nf3 Kc7 14. Ne5 Qd8 15. Nf7 Qg8
16. Bh5 h6 17. Nxh8 Qxh8 18. Qf3 Bb7 19. Qg3+ Kd7 20. a4 b4
21. Na2 a5 22. e4 Qxd4 23. f3 Qxc5 24. Be3 Qxe3+ 25. Kf1 Ba6#
0-1
1. d4 Nf6 2. Bf4 g6 3. Nc3 Bg7 4. Nb5 Na6 5. a3 O-O
6. Bg5 c6 7. Nc3 d5 8. e3 Ne4 9. Nxe4 dxe4 10. h3 f6
11. Bf4 g5 12. Bh2 e5 13. c3 c5 14. Qc2 f5 15. O-O-O c4
16. dxe5 Nc5 17. Rxd8 Rxd8 18. Bxc4+ Kf8 19. h4 Bd7 20. hxg5 Ba4
21. b3 b5 22. bxa4 bxc4 23. Bg3 Nb3+ 24. Kb1 Rab8 25. e6 Nd4+
26. Kc1 Nb3+ 27. Kb1 Nd2+ 28. Ka2 Nf1 29. Qc1 Rd2+ 30. Ka1 Bxc3+
31. Qxc3 Rd1+ 32. Ka2 Rbb1 33. Qh8+ Ke7 34. Qxh7+ Ke8 35. Qh8+ Ke7
36. Rh7+ Kxe6 37. Qe5#
1-0

1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. exd5 exd5 4. Nf3 Be7 5. Bd3 Nf6
6. O-O O-O 7. Nc3 Bg4 8. h3 Bxf3 9. Qxf3 Nc6 10. Be3 Ne4
11. Bxe4 dxe4 12. Nxe4 f5 13. Ng3 Bf6 14. c3 Bh4 15. Ne2 f4
16. Bxf4 Bg5 17. g3 Bxf4 18. Nxf4 Rf6 19. Qd5+ Kh8 20. Ne6 Qe7
21. Rae1 Rh6 22. Nc5 Qf6 23. Qe6 Qf8 24. Qg4 Rg6 25. Qh5 Qd8
26. Ne6 Qd7 27. Nc5 Qd6 28. Nxb7 Rxg3+ 29. fxg3 Qxg3+ 30. Kh1 g6
31. Qf3 Qh4 32. Qf6+ Qxf6 33. Rxf6 a5 34. Rxc6
1-0
1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nd2 c5 4. c3 Nf6 5. Bd3 cxd4
6. cxd4 Bb4 7. Nf3 dxe4 8. Qa4+ Nc6 9. Bb5 Bxd2+ 10. Nxd2 Bd7
11. O-O O-O 12. Re1 e3 13. fxe3 Qc7 14. Nf3 a6 15. Bd3 b5
16. Qc2 g6 17. Bd2 e5 18. dxe5 Nxe5 19. Qxc7 Nxf3+ 20. gxf3 Rac8
21. Qd6 Rc6 22. Qd4 Bh3 23. Rac1
1-0

first off, R.I.P. Brett Somers.

story is HERE

so i’m going to the tournament in reno in just over three weeks. am i ready? nope.

i have mixed feelings, and i’m filled with self doubt on one hand, and filled with blind overestimation of my abilities and optimism on the other foot. i entered the 1300 - 1400 section, thinking, my rating is just under 1200. if i play in the 1200’s and lose, my ratings will plummet, and i don’t’ care about chess, just the ratings (smell that? that is sarcasm. nothing int he world smells like that…) but if i enter the 1300 - 1400, if i win, my ratings will go up and if i lose, well, i shouldn’t go down that far. i also, somewhere deep inside me, believe i am better than a 1300 rating, even though i consistently lose to 1100’s.

i think i will have a chance playing the grob, it seems to throw people off for some reason.

here are two quick games, i am white in both.

1. g4 e6 2. h3 d6 3. Bg2 c6 4. d4 Na6 5. Nf3 Nc7
6. c4 g6 7. Bg5 f6 8. Bf4 Bg7 9. Qd2 Ne7 10. Nc3 O-O
11. Bh6 Bd7 12. Bxg7 Kxg7 13. h4 Be8 14. h5 g5 15. Ne4 d5
16. Nexg5 fxg5 17. Qxg5+ Kh8 18. h6 Rg8 19. Qf6+ Rg7 20. Qxg7#
1-0

1. g4 e5 2. h3 d6 3. Bg2 Bd7 4. Bxb7 Be7 5. Bxa8 Bc6
6. Bxc6+ Nxc6 7. Nc3 Nd4 8. e3 Ne6 9. Nf3 Nf6 10. e4 O-O
11. h4 Kh8 12. d3 Ng8 13. Ng5 Nxg5 14. hxg5 Bxg5 15. Nd5 Bxc1
16. Qxc1 Qg5 17. Qxg5 f6 18. Qh4 h6 19. Ne3 g5 20. Qh5 Kg7
21. Nf5+ Kh8 22. Ne7 Rf7 23. Qxf7 Nxe7 24. Rxh6#
1-0

both grob games, both wins. i gotta try it at the tournament.

i’ve been losing, but online i only play blitz. i can count at least two losses where, after i made the move, i saw that it was wrong, and had i just looked for 10 seconds longer, i would have seen the move. so i think, possibly wrongly, that i am stronger over the board playing in a 2 hour game then on the computer playing 5 minute games while looking at porn waiting for the other guy to move.

i still retain that naive belief that i can just waltz on into the chess world and play well and win. if i can keep that optimistic confidence, i think i will do ok. also, if i would just pay attention to the master games i am going over, if i could remember the pawn stuff i read in “my system” and if i can just play good solid moves, not attack with nothing behind it, look for tactical moves for me and my opponent, i should be ok.

but am i ready?

i can’t buy capers in my little town. i asked for them, the guy thought i said “papers.” i took those little green berries for granted, but now that i want them to make caponata and tapenade, i have to drive to “the big city” 8 miles away to get them. gives me a reason to leave my house i guess.

so i joined the ICC for a year. it uses the dasher system, just like world chess, but it has more people on it and it only shows GMs and IMs playing games, i can’t watch two 800s blunder through a game to see who makes the least amount of mistakes.

i thought i was playing the french, i intended on it, but it turned out i played some kind of sicilian variation.

i’ve been reading “my system” by nimzo, bitch, and he was talking all about pawn chains and passed pawns and such, and during the game, i was thinking of what he said as i marched my two pawns up the g and h aisle of destiny there at the end.

the guy started the game off with trading bishops. fag. i just don’t see the reason for this, especially as he is white and might need that bishop to attack or something (lookit me, talking about not sacing a piece). my knights find nice outposts on e and d 4, which make him trade off nights. on move 14, i think tactically for him, and see that my queen can be pinned with a discovered check, so i move my king out of the way, and sure enough, he moves his bishop. again thinking about “his system”, nimzo talks about blockading pawns, and i blockade his e pawn with my queen. he doesn’t have a knight to move her, so she is pretty safe. also, he has one lone castle out there in the middle of the battlefield. sucker.

starting on move 16, i let loose my pawns, thing 1 and thing 2, and they walk hand in hand through his house up the board, harassing his bishop. he takes a pawn with his rook so i will take his rook and he can take mine with his bishop, leaving his bishop on d4. this is how it looks from my point of view, i’m black.

do you see the move? see what i did?

i knew, or at least counted on, if i advanced my h pawn, he would advance his g pawn to lock shit up. which is excellent, cause then i either win a bishop and probably a rook or the game.

i won the game.  he never even moved his queen or his queen’s rook.

here is the game. if you wanna see it played, copy and paste. again, i am playing black.

1. e4 e6 2. c4 c5 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. Nf3 d5 5. cxd5 exd5
6. Bb5+ Bd7 7. Bxd7+ Qxd7 8. e5 Ne4 9. O-O Nc6 10. Re1 O-O-O
11. Nxe4 dxe4 12. Rxe4 Nd4 13. Nxd4 cxd4 14. d3 Kb8 15. Bf4 Qe6
16. a3 h6 17. b4 g5 18. Bg3 h5 19. f4 h4 20. Bf2 g4
21. Rxd4 Rxd4 22. Bxd4 h3 23. g3 Qd5 24. Bf2 Qg2#
0-1

so i tried out the Grob (thanks Dutch defence for the extra help) after waiting only a few minutes for someone to play a game on world chess live.

i won.  it wasn’t pretty, not even close. did i deserve to win? no. did i play well? no. do i hate when people ask a question and then answer it instead of just saying what they want to tell you? yes.  after the game, in addition to the ubiquitous “gg” i added “weird game” and i got a lol.

for anyone who may not be familair with the grob (and i can’t see why anyone would be) it is 1 g4, followed by 2 h3. i made a mistake right at move 2. i knew i was supposed to go h3, but instead, i moved the bishop to g2 and he took my g pawn right away with his bishop. two moves into it, i’m already fucking it up, down a pawn. oh yeah, this is gonna work out juuuuust fine.i try to develp pieces, get some semblance of structure going. move the bishop out to e7, pinning his knight, he moves his bishop and i trade bishop for knight. i castle long and he advances his a pawn, attacking, of course. his a and b pawns are both on the 4th rank, he has mad space on the queen side, where my king is hiding. i make some feeble tactic attempts, he doesn’t fall for them at all. finally, at move 17 he castles.

i like it when my opponent castles. to me, that means the king is rooted and can’t go anywhere, i know where he is gonna be and i can attack him in his home, like the wolf attacked the three pigs. sadly, i am usually going agianst the stone house, never against the straw house.

anyway, i start my attack, my h pawn moves up to the 5th rank. i move the castle to the g file, since it’s open and the king is there, i can try some tactical stuff. i move my bishop to attack his bishop, hoping he will take and i can take his h pawn with my queen, using the pin on the pawn. nope, he advances his g pawn. well, fuck him then, i take his bishop and he takes mine. he moves his castle to the b file, behind his queen, which is in front of my poor king. i take the a pawn with the knight, figuring i might as well trade off queens and hold on as long as i can before i lose.

for some reason, he takes my knight, and my queen is spared. sweeeeeeet. i have my queen and what i consider tempo. my knight takes the f5 pawn and sets up to take his bishop, so he moves the bishop to attack my queen. at this point, i can sac a castle in hopes of getting the queen in his face, but instead, i check him with the knight then move my queen up for the kill. holy crap, i think i might actually win this. he moves his castle to get my queen out of the way, i move the queen and he takes my knight.
here is the position with white (me) to move:

what would you do?

to find out how i managed to pull a win out of my ass, see the last three moves right here….

1. g4 d5 2. Bg2 Bxg4 3. h3 Bf5 4. Nf3 c6 5. d4 Nf6
6. Nc3 e6 7. Bg5 Be7 8. Bxf6 Bxf6 9. Qd2 a5 10. O-O-O a4
11. a3 b5 12. h4 b4 13. axb4 Qb6 14. e4 dxe4 15. Ng5 Qxb4
16. Ngxe4 Be7 17. Kb1 O-O 18. h5 h6 19. Rhg1 Na6 20. Bh3 g5
21. Bxf5 exf5 22. Ng3 Rab8 23. Nxa4 Qxa4 24. Nxf5 Bb4 25. Nxh6+ Kh7
26. Qxg5 Rg8 27. Qf5+ Kxh6 28. Qxf7 Rbf8 29. Rg6+ Kxh5 30. Qh7#
1-0

back home, getting all settled back in.  i’m busy, i have about a week to tie up loose ends and pack stuff up, and then i move to fruita, colorado.

while in st louis i tried to stay strong, i tried to walk the straight and narrow path, but the temptation was too strong, i was weak, i bought more chess books.  i got a book of petrosian’s games, which i like a lot.  i also got a book on the grob opening.  it’s so wierd, i think i will try it.  opening with g4 seems to make no sense,  but leads to a decent middlegame, at least from the examples in the book.

i think i will start playing on ICC.  it seems everyone plays on ICC, and world chess, while i like it, doens’t seem to have as many people playing.  it’s sometimes hard to get a game.

i did have a decent game, some guy openeind with a gedult opening, whatever that is.  i figure he was giving me the center, so i took it.   his first 4 moves were pawn moves, which i remeber reading somewhere is not the best thing.  he had pawns out, i had the center and both knights out.   he moves his bishop out to trade with my knight, which i didn’t see a reason for, and by move 7 i think i have a pretty nice position.  by move 11, i’m all castled and developed, his king is in the center, his pawns are scattered like they were in cancun during the hurricane, and his entire queenside hasn’t moved.   move 15 he tries to attack my knight, which is all up in his shit, but i exploit the pin on the e pawn and defend the knight and remove his f pawn all with one move of my bishop.  i have my pieces out, ready, and the attack has begun.  he moves his king out to threaten my pieces, but my knight and bishop are like han and chewy fucking up the deathstar, creating havoc and mayhem and confusion for a few moves, then i sac han (the bishop) taking out his knight and opening the dark diagonal.   i send in my queen to the final kabosh on him, she moves around like a ninja, threatening, attacking, i love her.   by move 26 its pretty much over, just the formalities of finishing the game.  i am loving the pins i have on the pieces.  the pin on the queen is awesome, and there is a sweet little ballet of checks that end in his mate in three more moves.   the game seemed so easy, it flowed.  i need to be able to do that all the time…i wish i could understand why that worked…

here is the game, i’m black
1. f3 d5 2. c3 e5 3. d4 Nc6 4. e3 Nf6 5. Bb5 Bd6
6. Bxc6+ bxc6 7. dxe5 Bxe5 8. f4 Bd6 9. h3 O-O 10. g4 Re8
11. Nf3 Ba6 12. Nd4 Ne4 13. Nxc6 Qd7 14. Nd4 Ng3 15. Rg1 Bxf4
16. Kf2 Ne4+ 17. Kf3 Bh2 18. Rg2 Ng5+ 19. Kf2 Be5 20. h4 Nh3+
21. Ke1 Bxd4 22. cxd4 Qb5 23. Qf3 Qb4+ 24. Bd2 Qxb2 25. Bc3 Qc1+
26. Qd1 Rxe3+ 27. Re2 Rxe2+ 28. Kf1 Qxd1+ 29. Be1 Rf2#
0-1

i checked online for my new rating, still not posted. what the fuck? here is my idea, i was thinking of writing a letter to GM Polgar about it, as she is the new president and can make changes ( i assume, i really don’t know). we live in a technologically advanced kinda place, we need to use that technology to our benefit. there should be one or two main servers at CHESS HEADQUARTERS that has everyone’s ratings. when there is a certified tournament, the TDs get a “password” that expires the day after the last day of the tournament. the password allows them to enter current ratings of players and game results. when you are done with your game, you go to the td, turn in your scoresheet, they enter it into the computer, and BAM, using a simple program like microsoft excel, the new ratings automatically are calculated. on the spot. instant gratification, the american way.

if i could change one thing, i would make new ratings be available at the tournament.

so anyway, although last night was rainy and crappy i was in a really good mood from having tons of fun at chess camp, so i popped on by the library for chess club, i was feeling frisky and ready to throw down. the only people who showed last night were

grandpa simpson

the granny from the hillbillies

and me

.

they were playing a game when i got there, they are both really nice folks, especially granny, she is a tough lady. they both missed about 2,067 tactics each, but he eventually had her down to almost nothing, he was up three pieces. then, with only a queen, she managed to calmly assasinate piece by piece, like the lovechild of tal and a ninja, forking left and right.  she left him naked and freezing with only his king and he had to resign. it was pretty awesome. after their game, they asked if i wanted to play, i had played them both, and not to sound rude or too full of myself, i just didn’t want to play against someone weaker. god that sounds so pretentious and concieted, but there it is. i had played both of them before, and i had merciliessly beaten both of them before, and they were better paired with each other. besides, all i could think about was them “hooking up” after the game (if i were him, i’d be all like “hey baby, maybe you could come back to my place for some geritol and fork me some more) and i didn’t want to be the third wheel or cockblock him.  so i wished them a good evening and went home to study opening traps.

i leave today with the two games i saved from Krapalov. they weren’t his best, the really really good one was against some guy named “Incredible turk.” these are ok, but not his best.

[Event "WCL"]
[Site "World Chess Live"]
[Date "2007.08.02"]
[White "Krapalov"]
[Black "parkway56"]
[Result "1-0"]
[WhiteElo "UNR"]
[BlackElo "1848"]
[TimeControl "0+0"]

1. e4 c5 2. Nc3 Nc6 3. Nge2 g6 4. d4 cxd4 5. Nxd4 Bg7
6. Be3 Nf6 7. Nxc6 bxc6 8. e5 Ng8 9. Bf4 h5 10. Bc4 Nh6
11. O-O O-O 12. Qd3 Nf5 13. Qf3 Qa5 14. Rfe1 Ba6 15. b4 Qb6
16. Bxa6 Qxa6 17. Rad1 Rad8 18. Ne4 Qxa2 19. c3 Qc4 20. Ra1 a6
21. Nc5 d6 22. Re4 Qd5 23. c4 Qxe4 24. Nxe4 dxe5 25. Be3 Rd3
26. Nc5 Rc3 27. Nd7 Rd8 28. Nb6 Nd4 29. Qe4 Nc2 30. Rb1 Nxb4
31. Na4 Rcd3 32. Nb2 R3d6 33. c5 Rd5 34. Qxb4 e4 35. Kf1 Be5
36. Qb7
1-0

[Event "WCL"]
[Site "World Chess Live"]
[Date "2007.08.02"]
[White "parkway56"]
[Black "Krapalov"]
[Result "0-1"]
[WhiteElo "1848"]
[BlackElo "UNR"]
[TimeControl "0+0"]

1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 d5 3. d4 dxe4 4. Nxe5 Bd6 5. Bc4 Bxe5
6. dxe5 Qxd1+ 7. Kxd1 c6 8. c3 b5 9. Be2 Nd7 10. Be3 Nxe5
11. Kc2 Bg4 12. Bxg4 Nxg4 13. Na3 Ne7 14. Rae1 Nxe3+ 15. Rxe3 f5
16. f3 Nd5 17. Re2 Nf4 18. Re3 Nxg2 19. Re2 Nf4 20. Re3 Nd5
21. Re2 Nf6 22. fxe4 Nxe4 23. Rf1 O-O
0-1