hardcore pawnography

so my round was done, my day was over, and i was hanging out watching how the real chessplayers do it, when one of them finished their game.

GM Melik Khachiyan had just won his game and was standing around talking, so i asked him if i could do an interview with him, he agreed, and here it is.

chessloser: ok, this is a chess interview, so first things first.  coke or pepsi?

GM Khachiyan:  pepsi.

cl: if there was no chess, what would you do?

GM Khachiyan:  no chess at all?  mathematics.  or maybe poker, i like to play poker for fun.

cl:  how do you handle losing?

GM Khachiyan:  now, not so bad.  ten years ago i took it personal, i would get angry, i couldn’t sleep, it was bad.  but now, it’s a loss, i have to see what i did wrong and learn.

cl: who are your favorite chess players?

GM Khachiyan:  petrosian is top of the list.  i studied under him, he was a good man, he died too early.   fischer was one of the greatest.   kasparov is a good man.

cl: if you could have dinner with a chessplayer, not play chess, who would it be?

GM Khachiyan: fischer, spassky, petrosian, alekhine.   i had a chance to talk with spassky for five hours once, he knows so much about life and chess, a very interesting man.

cl:  how long can you hold your breath?

GM Khachiyan:  now, not so much, i smoke, i drink….maybe 20 seconds.

and i thanked him and that was that.  what a super cool guy, very personable, very open, very approachable.   there was so much more i wanted to ask him, but it was evening, he just finished a game, i didn’t’ want to keep him or waste his time.    i’m glad i had the opportunity to speak with him, even for just a brief moment, you could see the joy and happiness in his eyes.   just like GM Petrosian, his coach, GM Khachiyan is a good man.

and all this time i thought there was no real chess going on in colorado, but it turns out, there is a grandmaster living right in my own home town. he is right in my own home! so i took the opportunity to interview GM McFuzz over a cup of tea, during a casual game (which he won, by the way, playing the “snuggles gambit” pawn shaman talked about, where he takes the pawn and bishop and then rolls all over the board.

chessloser: thanks for your time and allowing me to interview you. ok, first question: beef feast or tuna feast?

GM Mcfuzz: tuna feast. i hate beef feast, you know i won’t eat that crap.

cl: what do you think about the politics in chess, the uproar in the USCF and all that? is there a place for it, or does it ultimately have nothing to do with actual chess being played around the world?

GM Mcfuzz: feed me.

cl: do you think chess could ever be “mainstream”, like poker, being covered on the sports channels, or will it always be a “fringe” interest?

GM Mcfuzz: pet me.

cl: where do you see chess in 5 years? will it change much with all the computer support and technology and databases?

GM Mcfuzz: pay attention to me.

cl: do you have any favorite players, alive or dead, whose games you try to emulate?

GM Mcfuzz: pay attention to me or i’ll knock over important stuff and scratch your damn stereo speakers!

cl: if morphy were playing today, how well do you think he would do?

GM Mcfuzz: i’m gonna dip my tail in your tea.

cl: ok, thanks for your time, one last question, are there any blogs or chess sites you read frequently?

GM Mcfuzz: hey, what’s that over there? *gets up and goes into another room, then lays down and takes a nap*

In another pathetic attempt at being a semi-legitimate chess blog, I made an attempt at interviewing a Grand Master. since i wasn’t allowed to play in round three because i suck so much, i spent the time hanging out in my room and walking around watching real people play chess. GM Larry Evans was walking by so i snagged him and he agreed to do the interview with me. he didn’t patronize me, he wasn’t condescending, he was genuine and even remembered me from the night before. he talked with a shiny glint in his eye, but behind that friendly glint i could see a small fire still burning inside him. the guy may be old, but he is spry, charismatic, and still full of energy. i wouldn’t fuck with him. he only had a few minutes, i was so thrilled that he would give me a few minutes i didn’t want to keep him any longer than i had to, so we did the 3 minute blitz interview.

(note: these are the actual questions and answers of the interview. i didn’t make any of this up)

Chessloser: ok, first question. chicken or fish?
GM Evans: that’s the choice? fish.

CL: Do you lose the artistic expression and creativity at higher levels? When you get to the master and grand master level, is it all rote? “in this position, i play here, etc etc”?
GME: There is diminishing artistry, thanks to computers. There was more creativity back in the old days. Every position, after the standard openings, is still as unique as a fingerprint, but computers are taking away the creativity.

CL: Are there any new moves that haven’t been played?
GME: Only from computers. Computers are teaching us now.

CL: You are having a dinner party, not playing chess but just talking and eating. What three chess people, living or dead, would you invite?
GME: Emanuel Lasker for sure. Capablanca for charm. Morphy, because there are a lot of questions i have to ask him.

CL: If someone would only study one chess player, who would you recommend?
GME: That’s a tough question (thinks for a bit) probably Botvinnik. (note: i know i should of asked why botvinnik. i wanted to ask why. but i didn’t want to keep the guy any longer because he was busy, so i decided to forgo actual quality for quantity).

CL: How do you want to be remembered?
GME: As a chess writer who called the shots as he saw ‘em.

CL: How long can you hold your breath?
GME: (laughs) i don’t know, i never timed it.

CL: do you read any chess blogs? what do you think of them?
GME: I read Migs daily dirt. i read Chessville, i like the usenet bulletin boards rec.games.chess.politics and rec.games.chess I also read chessbase.com, but I don’t read the USCF board, it’s censcored.

CL: Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.
GME: If you play chess as badly as you interview, you need to take up another hobby. (ok, he didn’t say that, but i bet he was thinking it.)

i know this might not tell you too much about the guy, but let me say this: when i first asked him for his time, he was busy, he mentioned he doesn’t usually give interviews, and although he had places to be and things to do, he graciously agreed to sit down with me, *me*, some nobody who he has never heard of or met, with no credentials, for an interview. he treated me with dignity and respect from beginning to end. that right there tells you what kind of man Larry Evans is. anyone can treat a famous, powerful, well connected celebrity with respect, but your true colors show in how you treat an insignificant nobody. GM Evans has walked with Kings, but still hasn’t lost the common touch. He’s a king in my book.

*note: when it was announced that a chess master would be on hand to analize games for free, i saw an opportunity. i decided i would try to get an interview with him, ask him about stuff to see the thought processes of a rated chess master, what and how he thinks. i also figured i could post it to share those thougths with the chess community, not only for everyone’s overall improvement, but also so everyone gets to know the big guns of the chess world a bit more, and to help make this an almost legitamate chess blog. this is the first in a hopefully long list of interviews with rated masters. i will interview any master or grandmaster i can get my hands on and post it right here.

for those who don’t know him, FM Danny Rensch is only 21 and seems to have it all. Young, good looking, (sorry ladies, he is taken) and a super cool and freindly guy. he was on hand all weekend analyzing games of anyone who showed up. i don’t think i saw the guy rest more than 3 minutes. he also played a simul, winning 28 and drawing 1. he doesn’t lose. ever. as i said in yesterday’s post, you see how much he loves chess in the way he explains things to and teaches the younger kids, as well as takes time to explain things to dumb old guys like myself, always with enthusiasm. the guy is awesome. if he is the future of chess, things will be great.

here is the first ever (and not the last if i can help it) inteview with a master:

chessloser: this is a chess interview, first things first. boxers or briefs?

FM Danny Rensch: Briefs.

cl: you ever get your ass kicked by a 10 year old?

DR: hahah, when i was 19, i lost to a 12 year old. gotta watch the kids, there are some good ones. when i was younger, i would take points from the higher rated guys. now, i have to watch out.

cl: who is your biggest influence/favorite player, living or dead?

DR: alekhine. definately alekhine.

cl: what’s your favorite opening?

DR: Nimzo-Indian.

cl: (squirming in his seat a little like a little girl) yes! that’s my favorite as well. if you could change one thing in the chess world, what would it be?

DR: oh, there are lots of things i would change, lets see….in the us, i would change the perception of chess players, remove the nerd stigma attached to chess. internationally, i would say the financial side of it, especially for players.

cl: if you could never play chess again, what would you do?

DR: i’d keep teaching, i don’t know, i would probably be an investor, possibly get into law.

cl: you go home right now, put in a cd, or you get in your car, put in a cd, who is it?

DR: oh man, i love music, it’s a tough question. mat kearney, john mayer, jack johnson, foo fighters. i like all genres of music, but i’m not into rap or hip hop. although, i did go through a stage when i was younger…..

cl: how long can you hold your breath?

DR: hmmm, now i’m not sure, but in my swimming days, i would say over a minute.

cl: cool, thanks very much for your time.

DR: your welcome. and really, after seeing your game, you should think about getting a new hobby. perhaps monopoly?*

*he didn’t say that last bit, i made that part up, but i bet he was thinking it. i was.