fucking government is run by clueless incompetent monkeys who, armed with a thousand typewriters and 5 bazillion years couldn’t bang out one line from cat in the hat much less shakespear. these fucktards are spending the Gross Domestic Product of fucking myanmar (Burma) trying to convince people to vote for them instead of spending the cash on, say, curing malaria or putting the cash back into the economy so people have houses and water and food and shit.

thing is, they are fucking shit up and the gas prices rise and the economy is tanking and it all affects my chess, and now i’m pissed off.

high gas prices mean airlines go out of business, so i can’t get to tournaments too far away. also driving is getting to expensive, so i can’t get to tournaments too short to fly but too far to ride a bike. i found out today that my man wang can’t make it to vegas and i doubt i’ll make it to tucson.

goddammit, how is my rating supposed to go up (even though it would most likely make like the lusatania and go down) if i don’t play in tournaments? how am i supposed to meet other chess bloggers and get drunk and party like a fucking rockstar if i and others can’t get to tournaments? what happens to the tournaments themselves? soon, people will stop showing up, too damn expensive with the gas, the hotel, food, entry fee, buying books, renting hookers, booze, drugs, bribing police and hotel managers, etc etc, all the regular things that go into a good tournament.

still, i’m going to chicago in a few weeks and i’m excited. my main concern is, how am i gonna pull of a huge party in my room? i want to invite the chessplayers and a bunch of chicks and have booze and music and rip it up. but from what i’ve seen, most players at tournaments are too busy studying in their rooms, or their moms won’t let them drink.

i can’t be the only chess player who also likes to party. i’m thinking of making up flyers and passing them out.

super interesting discussion over at elizabeth vicary’s, but it all takes place in the comments. some dude, who i think is an IM, has a thing against the knight errants and the de la maza school of chess. no big deal, but he came off as an assclown when he said liquid egg product and wahrheit were part of it. the guy was claiming chessbloggers as cultist and such. i think he is just jealous. *note: i realize now as i type this both LEP and wahrheit already posted about this. as with everything in my life, i’m a day late and a dollar short

it’s friday, pizza and beer night. i just got back from a bike ride, i’m gonna study a bunch of alekhine, and then ride my bike down to hot tomato and get me some pizza and beer. anyone reading this, have a great weekend, i wish you all good bishops, strong knights, and open files. chess it up!

went mountainbiking the other day on a trail that was way beyond my ability, both technically and fitness wise.  i knew it would be, but i wanted to do it anyway for two reasons:  1. so i know what that trail was about, so i know for sure it is beyond my ability and i don’t just take what is told to me as truth, i wanted to prove to myself for sure it is beyond my ability.  question everything.  and B. i can’t improve unless i push myself and do things beyond my ability.   the only way to learn how to ride that trail is to ride that trail.  i’m hoping i can someday ride that trail a bit better, i’m hoping that trail will be within my ability and i deserve to be on(?) belong on(?) that trail

the beautiful thing about that trail was the downhill parts, where i had to really really stay focused and concentrate and think.  when mountainbiking on a twisty sketchy trail, your mind can’t wander, or you fall off a mountain or at least fuck up you and your bike on rocks or in cactus or against a tree (note:  trees are really really hard and can crack your ribs if you hit them just right.  cactus needles stick in are difficult to get out).

for me, mountainbiking is a zen practice.  i have to live “in the now” and my mind can’t wander, it has to stay focused on what i am doing, my breathing, where i put my feet, all that stuff.  i don’t care about bills, work, who the next president will be any of that, there is just me and the mountain.  but at the same time, i have to “think ahead.”  when you are on a trail, you have to look as far ahead the trail as possible, and “pre-ride” the trail in your mind, see where you are going to go.  you don’t look down where you are, you look ahead where you are going to be, and you adjust now for what will be in a few seconds.  the now is already gone, past, done.

to me, this applies so much to chess it’s not even a stretch for me to make it apply.   first off, my mind can’t wander when i play, i have to “be present” and see what the fuck is going on on the board.  i can’t think of chess when i am biking down a mountain on a trail that is barely wider than my front tire, and i can’t think of biking when i’m playing chess.  obvious when i’m sitting around typing it out, but when i’m at the board actually playing chess, what is really going on in my mind?  cycling teaches me to focus, teaches me to keep my mind on one task, and i need that when i play chess.

thinking ahead, mentally “pre-riding” the trail is important to be ready for what’s coming and set up to deal with whatever is ahead.  my position now is important, but i have to look ahead, what will my position be in two or three moves?  so i have to think of now, but also think of the immediate upcoming unavoidable future and prepare to handle that.  will i need a bishop covering that square?  will i need my rook on that file?

so how can i improve my chess?  questions.  proving to myself what is the truth.   when a child learns a language, he takes it at face value, doesn’t ask why, just copies and does.   i tried learning chess by taking the moves from grandmaster games as the answer, not questioning, just copying them and doing what they do.  but that only lasts so long, eventually a child starts asking why.  “why is the sky blue?”  (cause if it were green, you wouldn’t know where to stop mowing the lawn).  “why is it raining?” (cause god is crying.  “why is god crying”  probably something you did, now shut up and leave me alone).   i have to ask why.  why did alekhine move his bishop there?  why didn’t he take the knight first?  why did he take the pawn with the bishop and not the knight or the other pawn?  why why why?

now, instead of taking every move i see as the absolute correct one, i have to ask why.  i have to have that annoying childlike wonder, question each move and prove it was correct or not.  doing so which will hopefully lead me to the answer, and i will learn lots of little crap along the way that i didn’t’ even know existed.  and hopefully i’ll learn the game better and be stronger.

right now, a rating of 2000 is a trail way beyond my ability, and i know that.  i’m hoping i will somehow learn enough to deserve to be on(?) belong on(?) that trail.

ok, its a battle royale between two tactic giants. tal and alekhine? nope. morosevich and aronian? nope.

chess tactics server VS chess tempo!!!!

i started with the CTS and liked it, spent lots of hours with it. then one day a friend told me about chess tempo, and i tried it, it was odd, slow, different, i didn’t get into it. many months later i revisited the site, and now i like it.

but i don’t’ know which is better. CTS seems to have a bit more variety of situations, chess tempo seems to be mostly mating puzzles. chess tempo moves slow, you can take your time and look at the board, cts is timed and no matter how much i try, i can’t ignore it.

the wierd thing about chess tempo is, for some reason, even though the problems aren’t harder, it’s hard for me. i miss obvious shit, i just don’t see it.

i’ve been trying to do what Phaedrus had wrote about, and what DK had told me to do, just “sit” with the problems, talk them out, say “this pawn is pinned, the knight attacks the bishop.”   and i do that, yet i have this strange blindness to the board, my mind won’t put together the pieces of the puzzle.   yet on cts, i don’t have as much of a problem.

is it because the pieces look different?  is it the way you move the pieces?  chesstempo board and pieces are larger, which should make it easier but it seems more difficult to me.

for now i do them both, but i’m edging a bit more towards chesstempo.  i wonder in a chessfight, who would win.

i got a cool idea for a horror movie, i will get M Night Shamalamadingdong or Wes Cravenicecream to direct it. it will be called “rest area” about a couple who are driving down the highway, perhaps to or from a chess tournament, and get off at a slighty sketchy yet sceninc looking rest area to go to the bathroom and then the car “breaks down” and they are stuck and a killer tries to kill them and it turns out while they were going to the bathroom the killer had messed with their car etc etc and it’s really scary. the tagline of the film could be “they stopped to poop, now they are dying to leave” or perhaps “they were just dying to poop” or something like that. i had another one but i forgot it.

you never hear about anyone surfing a river. what if you surfed down a river? you wouldn’t have to worry about getting a wave, the rapids would be pretty gnarly, but it might be fun. that should be the new thing this summer, river surfing.

so i’m gonna go to chicago for the chess tournament. i was thinking of showing up to the first round wearing a pinstripe suit and a fedora and carrying my chess set and clock in a violin case, all capone-style. on one hand i don’t feel ready, on the other hand, fuck it, i’m so ready to play, i just have to remember i’m playing under 1300, i am so (overestimating myself in my own mind of course) better than that, i should destroy them (lying to myself that i’m actually good, when i know i suck but my ego won’t let me admit it)

i’m going with a huge stack of stickers, i’m gonna give em out to everyone i see no matter what. it’s gonna be a huge chess party whether people want it to be or not. i’m gonna have a blast.  yeah, i’m excited.

it’s monday, i have pretty much the whole week off, so i’m gonna concentrate on chess this week.  i’m gonna study games, do tactics, try and really learn and see the influence of each piece on each square and why some squares are better for pieces than others.  all that chess stuff.  and i gotta get a pinstripe suit and a violin case.

it’s the first of may. i am playing in the chicago open three freakin weeks from now, may 23-26th. i don’t think i’m ready for it, but fuck it, i’m playing, cause it’s chess, and that is what i do.

but wait! as if that isn’t enough, i just, nary moments ago, registered for the vegas chess orgy june 5 - 8. as if i’ll be ready for that, or even want to play chess after chicago.

what the fuck am i doing? i’m an addict. i’m a masochist. i have a disease.

i wanna be like the “real” chess slingers. i know that real chess players, the pros, they play in all the tournaments, on the road like rock stars, driving from tourny to tourny, leaving a trail of trashed hotel rooms, broken hearts, and poor suckers reeling from acute and massive rating loss in their wake. i wanna be like a chess tornado, leaving a trail of devastation across the country.  because that is what they do. that is what i wanna do.

but i’m not a professional chessman. i’m just an enthusiast. and a sucky one at that. who am i to go to all these tournaments? i may be able to win the occasional game online against some drunk guy, or someone trying some new weird line, yeah, great. but in the tournament hall, at the board, when every heartbeat can be heard, when things are so on edge and you are so focused the bead of sweat running down your back feels like a stampede of horses and you can hear your opponent breathing, it’s different. every move matters, no time for fucking around, the shit is on the line. its real.

seriously, am i ready for that? sitting here in the comfort of my room the idea of playing in a chess tournament is amusing, interesting, sounds like fun. but i forget what it’s like sitting there. i forget the agony, the hellish pain of failure, the sheer stress of it all.

i feel like martin sheen in apocalypse now. when i’m there, i want to be home. when i’m home, all i can think about is getting back. i wanted a chess tournament, and for my sins, they gave me one.  actually, now i have two i’ll be going to.

i should probably start getting ready for chicago now.

i shouldn’t play blitz, it’s bad.  i know, but maybe just one quick game won’t hurt me.  ok, one quick game and that is it.  ok, just one more, i mean, two games won’t hurt, and besides, it’s experience.  well, maybe just one more…..

i’ve played 5 blitz games in the last two days, and i won 3 of them.  fucked up thing is, two of the players were 1700 and one was a 1500 that i usually lose to.   i dont’ know if its so much “i won” as “they lost.”

the first game, against a 1541, is actually an interesting game.  i spent the first 9 moves attacking his dark squared bishop, and on move 10 i took it with my well placed knight, thereby trading a good knight with an outpost for a kinda sucky bishop and opening up his rook file.  this makes tons of sense to me.  then comes the battle of the b1-h7 diagonal.  he puts lots of pressure on it, i defend it rather well.  we trade off pieces, i offer a queen trade but he declines with a queen sidestep with check.  on move 23 instead of just moving my king, i block the check with my knight.  i know he would take the b7 pawn, and i want him to.  he does, which helps my plan.  he is up lots of pawns, but i am up two pieces, so on move 24 i sac my knight to open up the way to his king.  i then move his queen out of the way with my rook, which is then lined up nicely to attack the king with my queen all the way on f5.  really, i’m quite proud of the whole little scam.   he eats up pawns while i prepare to mate him, and on move 29, he resigns.

here is the game, i’m black

1. d4 Nf6 2. Nf3 g6 3. Bg5 Bg7 4. Nbd2 O-O 5. e4 d5
6. e5 Ne4 7. Bh4 Bg4 8. Be2 h6 9. c3 g5 10. Bg3 Nxg3
11. hxg3 f6 12. Qc2 fxe5 13. Nxg5 Bf5 14. Bd3 e4 15. Ndxe4 dxe4
16. Bxe4 e6 17. Nf3 c6 18. O-O-O Nd7 19. Nh4 Nb6 20. Nxf5 exf5
21. Bxf5 Qg5+ 22. f4 Qxf5 23. Qb3+ Nd5 24. Qxb7 Nxc3 25. bxc3 Rab8
26. Qxc6 Qb1+ 27. Kd2 Rb2+ 28. Ke3 Qxa2 29. Rhe1 Rxg2
0-1

second game against a 1768, i’m white, it’s a weird game.  he seems to attack prematurely, and all attacks are easily defended against.  on move 8 i think he fucked up, he offers a bishop for no apparent reason.  i think there must have been some bad ass tactic, but i didn’t take it.   on move 15 he sets up for another mating attack which i easily prevented by blocking with my bishop, so not only is he blocked, i keep pressure on his f7 pawn, all the while i set up an attack on his g7 pawn and king.  he spite checks twice, i set up to kill him, he resigns.   i didn’t win this game, he lost it.   weird thing is, he played like i do, it was like watching me play.  now i realize how much i suck and why.

i’m white, here is the game

1. d4 c5 2. dxc5 e5 3. e4 Bxc5 4. Bc4 Qb6 5. Nh3 Nf6
6. Nc3 d6 7. Na4 Qa5+ 8. Nc3 Bf5 9. Bd2 Bxh3 10. gxh3 Nbd7
11. Nd5 Qd8 12. Qf3 O-O 13. O-O-O Nxd5 14. Bxd5 Qb6 15. Rhg1 Bd4
16. Bb3 Nc5 17. Bh6 Nxb3+ 18. cxb3 Rac8+ 19. Kb1 g6 20. Qf6
1-0

last game i’m black against a 1743 doing the sicilian thing.   by move 16 queens are traded and i am down a few pawns, so i should lose the endgame.  luckily, i didn’t realize that as i was playing, i only see that now going over the game.  while playing, i foolishly think i might win.  on move 16 my knight takes  his e4 pawn, uncovering an attack on his rook, his bishop, and defending my lone c5 pawn.  a simple bishop move of his removes any threats i have.  nothing is easy.   on move 20 i decide to trade my bishop for his rook, but it turns out its my knight and bishop for his rook.  i suck so much i am awarded honorary black hole status.   he is up at least a piece, a few pawns, and i got nothing.  perhaps he gets too penisy and relaxes a bit, but on move 28 he moves his knight which gives up his bishop for no apparent reason.  that knight move was the iceberg to his titanic.  one simple move and his game goes to shit like “that” (i snapped my fingers when i said the word “that”).  he trades his two bishops for my one bishop, and i’m left with a good position.    i have two rooks, he has rook and knight.  he resigns.  perhaps he would have won if we kept playing, but he resigned, so i won.  go figure.

here is the game, i’m black

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 e6 3. b3 Nc6 4. Bb2 Nf6 5. d3 g6
6. Be2 Bg7 7. O-O O-O 8. d4 cxd4 9. Nxd4 e5 10. Nxc6 bxc6
11. Bxe5 Re8 12. f4 Qb6+ 13. Bd4 c5 14. Be5 d6 15. Qxd6 Qxd6
16. Bxd6 Nxe4 17. Be5 f6 18. Bb2 Bb7 19. Bf3 Rad8 20. Nc3 Nd2
21. Bxb7 Nxf1 22. Rxf1 f5 23. Bd5+ Kf8 24. Rd1 Bd4+ 25. Kf1 h5
26. Rd3 Kg7 27. g3 Kh6 28. Na4 Rxd5 29. Bxd4 cxd4
0-1

going over these games, i saw lots of tactical opportunities.  i saw how “counting errors” like hiesman talks about, i saw how one move changes the whole course of the game.   it’s cool i won, yeah, whatever, but i saw how much i suck, and how i got lucky, and i want to play chess where i win because my moves were better, not because i got lucky.   that said, winning, even if it’s cause i got lucky, beats the shit out of losing.

ok, so i learned the lucena postion. apparently i’m the last human on earth to learn this, and it’s the most important thing in chess ever. by knowing this position, i will win all my games, my teeth will straiten and whiten, i will have a full head of thick luscious hair like fabio, all the chicks will dig me, and all the guys will buy me beers and want to be my friend.

it looks like this with white to move:

it’s all about building a bridge too far over the river kwai in madison county.  white moves Rf2+, black king moves to g7, then what does white do?  he moves his rook to f4.  F FUCKING 4!!!!  of all the squares on the board to move to, f4 is the right one.   this keeps the black king out of the way, and lets the white king make like he is on the price is right and “come on down” to d5, so the pawn can get to across the border to mexico and become a queen.

so how many times will this ever come up in games?  i don’t’ think i’ve ever seen this position before, ever, yet it is the most important position in the universe.   ok, so now that i know this, do i play for this position?  do i trade everything down and march my king up in front of my pawn and get my rook where he needs to be and then force this position into reality?  is this something i keep in the back of my mind, and when i’m given an option to take a d pawn or have a pawn on d, think “well, with my pawn on the d file, i can get to the lucena position.”

also, since everyone knows this, they know what to do, and they should know how to prevent it.  right?

i do love the concept of bridging the king and rook, i like the whole “opposition” with the kings and the pawn, it is all kind of slowly coming together a bit for me, and i love that i now know this position.

i just wonder now that i know it, what do i do with it?

me: hey chess, how ya been?

chess: oh, it’s you. so, long time no see. you seem to have been so busy riding your bicycles and drinking, you just cast me aside like a pair of dirty underwear.

me: that’s not true, you can’t say that. while i may not have played at all, or sat and really studied in a few days, i’ve been looking at my tactics flashcards when i can and reading the reassess your chess workbook here and there. you have been on my mind most of the day every day.

chess: oh, yeah, that’s quality time. and now that you have a tournament coming up in about a month, you are gonna just waltz on in and expect me to just let you have your way with me? you want me to just open myself to you, fall all over you?

me: well…um…kinda, yeah. look, i’ve put in many hours trying to understand you and see you for who you really are. i took a few days to enjoy something else, and now i’m back and committed to spending lots of time with you, really really getting to know you. i don’t see why you are playing so hard to get. sometimes, i just don’t get you.

chess: no one gets me, i’m the wind.

me: what? really?

chess: no, i was just being difficult. i’m like that. many do get me, but i can be elusive to even them from time to time. i’m like that. so, why should i bother giving you the time of day?

me: well, i’m gonna spend lots more time with you, i’ll be giving you the attention you deserve. i will still be going to the gym and riding my bike, but my evenings will be spent with you and only you. unless top chef or that new celebra cadabra show where the famous people try to do magic on vh1 is on.

chess: you’re a dick. i hope you don’t expect to do well in chicago.

me: actually i do. i am going to really really study the sicilian, the plans, the tricks, the traps, as much of it as i can. i want to learn how to transition from it to the french smoothly, in case that ever comes up (again).

chess: pshhh. you got a few years? you don’t’ think you are just gonna do this in a week or two, do you?

me: no, of course not, but i gotta start somewhere, and while i’m doing that, going over master games, i’ll also pick up various middle game techniques, tactics, etc. i know it will take me more than a month, i’m in this for the long haul. i’m making a commitment to you, i thought you would have seen that by now.

chess: eh, you tend to be fickle. and you suck. and frankly i’m not all that attracted to you.

me: fine, that’s cool. i will just have to win you over. i’ll pay so much attention to you, you won’t be able to help giving up part of yourself to me. i’ll learn the real you, and maybe, someday, i can at least be one of your lower mild interests. i may not be your full time love, but i can at least be a part time fuck buddy.

chess: damn, way to ruin it. you were doing ok until that last part. why do you have to be like that?

me: i don’t know, that’s just how i see things. anyway, you will be seeing a lot more of me, i promise. but now i gotta get ready for work.

chess: you suck, i hate you.

me: i know, i’m gonna change that though.

yesterday i went for a huge bikeride, a bit too far, out of water, legs seizing up, nice light sunburn on the arms.  i pushed myself, it was good.  according to fred nietzsche, i’m stronger, seeing as how it didn’t kill me.  i don’t feel stronger, in fact, i felt all sore and depleted.

so today i didn’t do a damn thing all day, save look at internet porn, study chess, and confit some lemons (blanch lemons, rinse and dry them.  mix diced shallots (or onions) and garlic, and mix about 1/2 cup salt and 3 tbs sugar. slice lemons kinda thin.  in a non-reactive container (i use a glass jar) layer lemons, garlic/onion, and salt/sugar, then lemons, garlic/onion, and salt/sugar, etc, to the top. top off with garlic mix, put in fridge for 3 days, cover with olive oil, and you got some tasty ass lemons to use in food or as a weird little side).

i mostly studied chess.   what got me all excited was today i memorized a position.  i don’t’ know why, i just did.  you can reach the position either from a weird sicilian or a kings indian.

ok, so i know i’m supposed to “know positions” but i don’t quite know what that means.   i don’t know what positions i’m supposed to know, or what it means to “know” them.  like, do i need to know where every pawn and piece are, or just the big main players?  are there some positions you see quite frequently?  i know i often see a certain position playing a QGD game.

anyway, when i sat down to study at my kick ass chess desk, before i opened a book i made a conscious effort to “be in the moment” and pay attention to every move i made.  then i went over the games, two and three times.  i didn’t just look to see what move was made and make the move, i looked at the board, thought about what i would do, then looked at the book, saw what the player did, moved that move, then looked at the board, etc.   occasionally i actually thought of the right move.  sometimes i saw the move that that book said was obvious and wrong.  other times the move i would make was never made in the history of chess because it sucked that much.

the one game i really liked, and i don’t know why, was short-kasparov 1993 london (rapid). for some reason this game appealed to me, and i somehow memorized the position after 9 moves.  i can re-create it at will and i know what move was played next.

does this do anything for me at all?  did i just waste some brain space learning something i will never ever need?

i wonder what positions i SHOULD memorize, if any.  and how do i learn what positions i need to know?

anyway, i felt like i accomplished something, even though i can’t be sure it was anything.   and if nothing else, at least i have some tasty lemon confit.

so far i’ve managed to maintain my “intense” study schedule.  1 hour of tactics, two master games, one of them being capablanca’s end game study games.  today i shall get those in, and tonight is pizza and beer night.

but tomorrow begins the fruita fat tire festival.  i shall study, but most of my time will be spent on the bike.  perhaps a bit of a break will help?

i wonder though, that fine line between taking a break and chess atrophy.  i’m afraid that if i go a day without chess study of some type, i will suddenly lose whatever i have, forget anything i may have learned.  this is ridiculous, but i still fear it.

yet i don’t want to burn out, i don’t want to train and study my brain into a fried mess so it shuts down and won’t do anything.  or maybe that isn’t even possible and i’m afriad of ghosts?

i’m really enjoying capablanca’s best chess endings.  not only can i find games by opponent or opening, but there is an index in back so i can look up games by what capablanca had vs. his opponent.  if i want to see him rook against knight and bishop, or queen and rook against queen and bishop, i look in the index and find what game covers that.    pretty nifty.

and the endgame starts on a different page than the rest of the game, so if i just want to see the endgame and not how he got there, i can start on the endgame.  it’s a really great book, i’m very happy with it

the only other endgame book i have is silman’s endgame course.  it seems to have everything i need right now, so that for instruction and capablanca for practical engame in action should do me quite well for now.

now it’s just up to me to actually learn this stuff.  and that is a whole other thing entirely.